America’s Favorite Porn Star Is Retiring
It’s a sad day on the internet. Lisa Ann is retiring from the smut game. Throw the old jack rag into the wash, you’re never gonna see her in porno again.
The 42-year-old posted a 10-page letter to Facebook explaining that she’s retiring once the calendar turns to 2015. Of course, the old mainstays on YouPorn and PornHub will still be there, but your spank bank won’t be seeing any new stuff from the queen of MILFs anytime soon.
That’s a real shame. She was a fine wine that only got better with age. Those hammers are timeless and to see a 42-year-old keep her body in that kind of shape is always praiseworthy.
She’s now pursing a career in fantasy football. Yeah, I know. If only we were all so lucky.
So, who will take her place atop the semen-soaked throne of porn? Christy Mack was a good bet, but her ex-boyfriend rearranged her face this summer. Jenna Jameson’s been out of the game for years. Sara Jay is a strong candidate, but my money is on Gianna Michaels. That chick is…enthusiastic about her profession.
Here’s to the next generation of spank minxes..
[via UPROXX]
Image via Instagram
My frock cries for her.
10 years ago at 1:33 pmsomeone else may be retiring soon… to a bathroom… with my laptop.
10 years ago at 1:41 pmShibby! You’re back! #TheyFreedShibby
10 years ago at 1:46 pmGood to have you back.
10 years ago at 1:46 pmThanks Frocket and Jerry. I struck a deal with Tech Guy by agreeing to change up some material, make fun of 5oclockShadow for losing the Fratmas championship, and sending poop pics to Bacon’s snapchat “BaconTFM”. He also said “TotalSratMove” wanted my frock snaps but I told him they’d need to work for it by sending some nudes first…
10 years ago at 1:52 pmFrat Jesus is bringing a lot of people back from the dead. What a great guy
10 years ago at 1:57 pmIt’s a fravival (frat revival)!
10 years ago at 2:42 pm
10 years ago at 2:06 pmI volunteer to accept frock snapchats on behalf of TSM
10 years ago at 4:08 pmTits or GTFO.
10 years ago at 4:22 pmShe has sent them. She’s thirsty wanting that lemonade butt pee action.
10 years ago at 4:36 pmForward them to your boy, Shibby.
10 years ago at 4:49 pmWelcome back, Shibby!! Good to see you back among the living.
10 years ago at 2:32 pmThe accounts of my forefathers have been restored.
10 years ago at 8:42 amNo, Carter Cruise is still active…
10 years ago at 1:42 pmKayden Kross. She’s just done her first anal scene and has appeared on both The League and a hidden scene for Breaking Bad. Also, her tits don’t look unrealistically fake like some others in the industry.
10 years ago at 1:42 pmIt’s good to see you really keep up with the times
10 years ago at 1:52 pmBrandi Love, you guys. Brandi Love.
10 years ago at 1:48 pmSolid contender. Ava Addams would be my personal pick.
10 years ago at 3:15 pmLisa Ann has always been good to my rock throbster.
10 years ago at 1:50 pmBrandi love for those blonde bangers
10 years ago at 1:57 pmKayla Kayden- former playmate , has already done a few Brazzers scenes.
10 years ago at 1:59 pmThank you
10 years ago at 7:48 amAva Addams is doing some good things.
10 years ago at 2:00 pmAva has really stepped her shit up for a middle aged milf
10 years ago at 2:38 pmSame with Kendra Lust.
10 years ago at 4:55 pmThank you, here I thought PAWGs had completely fallen by the wayside according to this thread.
10 years ago at 2:39 amIt’s a sad day for penis’ everywhere.
10 years ago at 2:36 pm