An Email From A Girl Who Is Fed The Fuck Up With Guys
8 years ago

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Drunk Ashley was Tindering late last night and received an introductory pickup line from our dude Bailey. Bailey is clearly a shooter, and shooters shoot. Did he cross the line with the elementary school mass shooting angle? Perhaps. Ashley was certainly not amused, and she emailed in last night after many wine coolers and beers to get some clarity on the repulsive male species because she is fed the fuck UP with guys.

Ashley’s email is below.

Hello. I’m Ashley and I’m writing to you from 10 wine coolers later, TX. I just want to know what THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH GUYS. Yeah girls can be evil using y’all only for free drinks but still. Wait hold on let me rephrase my statement. What the fuck is wrong with guys on tinder?! I literally am SHOCKED at some of the shit your species say.

Like what the actual hell is this pick up line. It’s like trying to watch Barney Stinson hit on women in how I met your mother. Painful. Sorry I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying honestly I’ve had too many beers but when will it end?? I’m deleting my tinder tonight I’ve seen too much already.

Sincerely,
Ashley. A girl who just doesn’t fucking understand this shit

Sent from my iPhone

And the pickup line:

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The implication here is that Bailey would like to ejaculate inside Ashley, using the tragic Sandy Hook massacre and the shooting of children as a metaphor.

Bailey gets zero points for creativity here. Let’s be clear: He did NOT come up with that line (he probably got it from here). Was it funny? A little bit, yeah. Is it offensive? Clearly. Original? Nah.

Alright look, Ashley. Guys are unfunny, immature assholes and they never fully grow out of it. Just the facts. Our president elect discusses grabbing women by their pussies, and he’s a grown ass man who’s about to be the leader of the free world. Think about that. Nuclear codes and grabbing P — that’s what our next president does. I’m not saying that’s normal behavior or even acceptable, because it’s not, but it happens.

Bailey’s just another asshole in a sea of assholes. All you can do is try and find the least asshole-y of the assholes.

    1. The User Formerly Known as Frabst

      “Sup girl, you remind me of my older cousin who molested me in my aunt’s attic. Tryna get your b-hole tore?”

      8 years ago at 1:51 pm
      2. The User Formerly Known as Frabst

        I’ve been balls deep in a work project aka telling portfolio managers how much they should pay for some Euro AT1 debt.

        8 years ago at 2:07 pm
      3. Sigma Alpha Egg sandwich

        Did you show them your comment history to scare them into it?

        8 years ago at 2:54 pm
  4. JohnnieWalker_Blue

    Looking for chivalry on tinder? Did she grow up under low hanging powerlines?

    8 years ago at 1:26 pm
    1. Rad_pitt

      Yea, I can’t imagine why she’d have to resort to tinder trying to find a serious relationship..

      8 years ago at 1:33 pm
  9. DickPole

    “Nuclear codes and grabbing P — that’s what our next president does. I’m not saying that’s normal behavior or even acceptable, because it’s not, but it happens.”

    No, It is very much acceptable behavior. He said “They let you do it”, meaning its consensual. He said it in private conversation and you know what? Women say much worse about men’s physical specifications when they’re together. Hell, I’ve met hundreds of girls who have openly said they won’t date men under a certain height. How’s that for objectification? This whole movement of trying to tear down alpha males when they have big sex drives (such a crime) is laughable and needs to end. I liked Trump even more after his comments. Shows he’s not an emasculated docile beta pussy who bends over for everyone in life and never gets his way. Society tells you its better to be a beta now. Be an Alpha. #MAGA #grablifebythepussy

    8 years ago at 2:06 pm