The Alcohol Keurig Is Almost Here

It’s only been a week, but 2017 is off to a great start. A decade ago, I would’ve been hoping for flying cars or time travel by now. Instead, all I want this year is a strong Republican party, fewer gorilla deaths, and for Anheuser-Busch InBev and Keurig to release their instant, at-home beer brewing device. I’m getting thirsty and turned on just thinking about it.
From CNN Money:
Keurig and Anheuser-Busch InBev (BUD) are teaming up to build an in-home booze brewer.
The companies said Friday that they’re launching a joint venture. The plan is to create an appliance that can churn out “beer, spirits, cocktails and mixers” at home, according to a press release.
The companies are still researching the product, so there isn’t even a prototype yet, much less any other details. But an Anheuser-Busch partnership may mean that it can create home-brewed versions of beers such as Budweiser and Corona.
The future is now, people.
I’ve dreamed of the days that people could mix up k-cups and beer-cups in the morning, slam a nice 12 ouncer before class to take the edge off, then just keep the party train chugging.
I can’t wait to see the prototypes for this. I hope it looks exactly like a normal Keurig, but instead of a coffee mug in the photo there’s just a beat-to-shit red Solo cup. You’ve got to know your audience, corporate America. We are the 98 percent that will be buying your product.
Just getting a few standard Natty Light, Budweiser and Bud Ice (highly underrated) K-Cups to start would be great. But when those Lime-A-Rita cups start coming out? Game over, brother. You can find me at the nearest swimming pool soaking up the sun. And then, later, probably at the nearest hospital for what doctors are calling the fastest and most dangerous way they’ve seen someone get diabetes.
Worth it..
[via CNN Money]
Image via Shutterstock
Just wanted to let everyone know that I peed in a girl’s butt this weekend.
9 years ago at 10:14 amAnd so is xXx the return of Xander cage!!!!!!!!
9 years ago at 10:20 amThat’s unsanitary
9 years ago at 2:01 pmOr we could be real men and pour our whiskey from a bottle into a drinking glass.
9 years ago at 10:26 amOr you could just drink it straight from the bottle
9 years ago at 10:54 amYou never saw John Wayne drinking whiskey from no kraut coffee machine.
9 years ago at 10:45 amHave to tilt one for the Duke now. If you don’t feel the same then you may as well punch an American flag in the face because you hate everything about freedom and liberty.
9 years ago at 6:06 pmLet’s see, take the 2 minutes for it to turn on, get the cup in, and then, Another minute or so for it to pour, or just open the fridge and crack one open in 2 seconds that wasn’t made in a dirty coffee pot. Hmm
9 years ago at 12:22 pmStop with the Harambe references
9 years ago at 12:30 pmI will lead developement and testing for this. I promise I will not let you down America.
9 years ago at 1:27 pmDelete your account.
9 years ago at 1:56 pmAdmitting you drink Lime-a-ritas completely discredits everything you have ever said.
9 years ago at 2:03 pmWhy not just buy the real deal?
9 years ago at 2:22 pmFinally my pledges can make my Irish coffee properly. This shit is too simple for those fuckers to get wrong
9 years ago at 3:42 pm