Apparently There Are Lots of Lactating Women at the University of Iowa

This according to HuffPost College who, when ranking the best universities to attend as a parent, listed the state of Iowa’s flagship university due to their impressive lactation facilities. The university of Iowa has thirty one lactation rooms on campus. THIRTY ONE. How many women are breast feeding at any given time at that school? Do the streets of Iowa City run white with the milk of new Iowan mothers? If I go to the most popular Thursday night bar in Iowa City can I order a Caucasian with human milk?

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that there are lactation rooms, I have no problem with this idea. In fact I’m sure they’re quite convenient for young mothers who otherwise would be breast feeding their child in a lecture hall bathroom while two sorority sisters take turns vomiting up last night’s tequila shots one stall over. Although as far as the sorority girls are concerned, a 20-something mother breast feeding her child is the perfect early morning reminder to pop their Plan B’s.

But like I said, the idea is fine, it’s just that the number of rooms seems out of proportion. But hey, what do I know? They could all be completely necessary. Also, how has no fraternity played a prank involving one of these rooms? The fact that there hasn’t been a pledge dressed up as a baby waiting outside a lactation room door with an empty bottle, soliciting for milk shows a real lack of effort, Iowa.

    1. TKEisTheBest

      Get a hammer. Repeatedly hit yourself in the head as hard as possible. Then shove it just as hard straight up your asshole, big side first. Do this repeatedly until you begin to bleed profusely. Bend over the grown and lick the blood. Then upgrade to a baseball bat, and begin increasing the hole size to about a softball. Then, when the bat is still in your enlarged ass, Jump up and land on it. Do this multiple times. Then pull the bat out, and suckle on the bloody handle.

      12 years ago at 4:31 pm
    2. PhrattinHard_PDT

      You can say Go State all you want, but at the end of the day you’re football team will always be 2nd class in this state.

      It’s alright though, because no matter how bad your football team is every year I’m sure that Paul Rhoads is just so proud to be your football coach.

      Fuck State.

      12 years ago at 4:44 pm
    3. Pterodactyl_Balls

      ^^^^^^ You used the wrong form of “Your.” You see, that isn’t surprising given that you probably go to Kirkwood or DMAAC like all the other Hawk “fans.” You are gayer than cum on a mustache

      12 years ago at 8:57 pm
    4. Bill Fratsky

      ^^ He definitely didn’t. “You’re” = You are. So, without the contraction, what he said would be “You are both dumbfucks”. Lace ’em up.

      12 years ago at 7:20 am
    5. Multimcliqourstine

      Fuck the Hawks.. just thought i’d repeat the completely obvious. Go State.

      12 years ago at 8:30 am
    6. Old_Fashioned

      ^^^ He was talking to the guy above that, who did in fact get it wrong. Seriously, how can you not understand this by the time you get to college.

      12 years ago at 9:40 am
    7. RAW DOG ASSASSIN

      OK so im trying to be a dick and everything but what in god’s fucking name is in Iowa.

      12 years ago at 11:08 am
    8. Bill Fratsky

      ^^ Misread the number of uparrows, there were just too damn many. Running laps now.

      12 years ago at 11:48 am
    9. Haze That Pledge

      Yeah, Iowa State is so cool. “Hey, what’s your major?” “Oh, I’m ag-sci.” “WOW! Don’t meet too many of your kind!”

      Ames, IA is so unspectacular. There is literally no comparison between Iowa State and UI. If the Big XII would have imploded last year, State would have been C-USA or Sun Belt in the blink of an eye.

      12 years ago at 12:38 pm
  1. RightAsFuck

    Right to vote –> right to work –> breastfeeding rooms –> getting out of the kitchen. This is a bad trend my friends.

    12 years ago at 4:29 pm
    1. play dixie dammit

      ^^ Not with the attire he’s wearing. This article is terrible. It’s gay enough to be a documentary on TLC

      12 years ago at 12:14 am