Arkansas Football Coach Bret Bielema On Beating Texas Last December: “Borderline Erotic”

Bret Bielema, an overflowing sack of garbage and head football coach for the perpetually irrelevant Arkansas Razorbacks, told media members at the SEC Media day events in Hoover, Al., that beating the Texas Longhorns last December was “borderline erotic.”

Bielema, who implements a style of football so boring the leather-heads of the early century would be calling for more tempo, is quick on the trigger when it comes to trolling Texas. During a photo-op before the Texas Bowl, Bielema made headlines when it appeared he had flashed the “horns down” while standing with Texas coach and upstanding citizen Charlie Strong.

Bielema’s comments about taking a knee against UT don’t come as much of a surprise. That fat fuck will look for any opportunity to “take a knee” if it means the overbearing stress on his legs won’t give and collapse in on himself like a dying star.

Beating Texas is not much of an accomplishment for a football coach these days, and if that is considered an “erotic moment” for Bielema, maybe he needs to reevaluate his sex life.

Hook ‘Em.

Image via Twitter

  1. F.A.Fasfuck

    Helmet Stickers you are almost as bad as the intern, but even he isn’t so mentally handicapped as to try and re-brand his shittiness.

    10 years ago at 6:17 pm
    1. FrayettevilleLegend

      Don’t you realize that Holt and the Intern are the same person? It’s pretty unlikely that two people in the world suck this bad. What are the odds of two people in one small office in Texas sucking this bad?

      10 years ago at 7:08 am
      1. BoatShoesAndBooze

        Actually, Bolen is the intern. Three weeks ago, Fail Friday was published by Bolen, who then repeatedly deleted my comments calling him out on it.

        Nevertheless, the stupidity and shittiness of the Intern and Helmet Stickers are incredible.

        10 years ago at 9:31 am
  2. Minervas_Raider

    I’m a man who sticks to a routine, so I’m glad HelmetStickers once again wasted 2 minutes of my day with this shitty article.

    10 years ago at 6:33 pm
  3. Dirty-30

    Congratulations on posting the worst the worst piece of writing this website has ever seen.

    10 years ago at 6:49 pm
  4. Huntington

    Bret is scoring more off the field than Texas is on the field. His sex life is doing just fine.

    10 years ago at 10:14 pm