Ask Intern Sydney

InternSydney9 years ago

Image via Instagram/ @riorodriguez

1. I will PayPal you $10 if you kick Dorn in the balls as hard as you can.

Dorn says he’ll pay me $20 not to do it, so up your pricing and we can negotiate.

2. What’s the inside of your mouth feel like?

Like your mother’s love and respect, something you will also never know the feeling of.

3. When I picture someone with the last name Woy, I picture a Chinese person.  Do people ever see your name and then act surprised when they see you in person for the first time?

Yes, everyone assumes I am of Asian descent before seeing me. It’s actually German (it was a longer last name before my people migrated here). I am 0 part Asian.

4. Three part question:

a. What is your view about guys who really like sharks?

b. Is Bacon as ugly in person as he is on the videos?

c. Does Dorn give you weird assignments like videotaping local playgrounds or infiltrating PTA meetings at elementary schools?

a. Sharks? As in the ones that reside in the ocean? If you’re over the age of nine and you have a passion about a specific animal (unless it’s shark week – that’s acceptable), you’re definitely a sociopath and I don’t want to associate with you.

b. I’m not close enough with Bacon to comment on that.

c. Yes.

5. How many followers have you gained on your social media since you started interning at TFM?

I started interning beginning of March. This will be my fourth Ask the Intern post. Since that time I’ve gained about 500 Twitter followers, 1-2k Instagram followers and after Snapchat takeover I gained about 2k snap views.

P.S. Please stop sending me D pics on social media.

6. What are girls opinion of guys into feet? Asking for a friend. Love your posts though, keep up the great work.

Hook me up with free pedicures and shoes and we can make it work.

7. Seeing as you are exponentially out of my league. How would you recommend a guy like myself to get the courage to talk to a woman like you in real life?

There’s really no such thing as “leagues.” Confidence and a sense of humor is most important when approaching a girl. If you have the mindset you’re good enough to talk to her, you are.

8. Wait…so did a guy cum on you face, snap a pic, then DickMessage it to you later?

This is in reference to last week’s Ask the Intern when I explained the creepiest DM ever received and apparently didn’t explain well enough. To clarify, someone had a photo of me pulled up on their phone, then spewed their male juice all over their phone screen so it was covering my face in the photo, then sent the photo of that to me.

THERE WAS NO ACTAUL SUBSTANCE ON MY FACE.

9. Where the fuck is fail Friday?

I am not the intern that’s in charge of Fail Friday, so stop getting mad at me.

10. Is it gay to practice making out with your pledge brothers when you’re drunk? We came to an agreement that we wouldn’t allow ourselves to be attracted sexually, but that the more we practice with each other the better we will be in a real life scenario.

I honestly contracted AIDS after reading this question, because that is the only thing gayer than the scenario you just gave me.

11. Fuck-Marry-Kill… Trump, Cruz, Bernie?

F- Pains me to say this, but I guess Bernie.
M- Trump, for obvious reasons.
K- Cruz, one of the most unfortunate faces I’ve ever seen.

12. Have you ever punched, slapped, or thrown a drink on a guy?

I think I would do more damage to my own hand if I punched someone, but I’ve definitely slapped a few guys (deserved), and never thrown a drink on someone..