Auburn Football Is Desperate To Sell Tickets, Turns To Groupon

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In life, there are no moral victories; only scoreboards. Auburn’s scoreboard, both on and off the field, outlook does not look good. On the heels of another embarrassing loss to the former Mr. Sadie Robertson, Trevor Knight, and Texas A&M at home, Auburn football and their beleaguered sweater vest wearing coach Gus Malzahn have turned to a new level of desperation: selling tickets to their home finale on discount service Groupon.

Yes, I did just say Groupon.

Somehow Malzahn and the marketing team found time, in between packing the moving trucks and listing their homes for sale, to come up with such a patently ingenious idea. Now, as the SEC continues to clobber the bizarrely hapless Tigers, fans have the silver lining of a Sunday morning price cut to ease the pain of another home field humiliation.

This, without a doubt, serves as an ominous reminder for Malzahn & Co. of the scorching seat the one-time wonder kid offensive coordinator finds himself on in 2016. The Tigers have already lost twice, looking in a state of general malaise against what is likely not a great Aggie team in front of their own crowd.

The gap between Auburn and arch rival Alabama continues to widen, after reigniting what was likely the most competitive major college football rivalry from the arrival of Cam Newton to the kick six Iron Bowl miracle. But, as is life as a college football coach, things change quickly.

Something tells me the Crimson Tide won’t be offering Groupons for this year’s Iron Bowl when they blow the Tigers back to irrelevance.

Image via YouTube

      1. Not_Feeling_The_Bern

        ^ You must not be from the south, or you just thought this was the Huffington Post

        9 years ago at 3:39 pm
      2. I Love All Races <3

        Bama is a trash tier school. Lmao your comparing auburn to that garbage? Quitr frankly the entire state of alabama is for poor people, rednecks, and N1GGERS

        9 years ago at 3:48 pm
      3. Dr.Strangelove

        we were literally hosing black people off the porches of the school in the mid 60s. ever heard of George wallace? The state of alabama is the epitome of class…….for white people

        9 years ago at 9:52 am
  1. Dave1029

    It’s a cycle. Auburn has a good season, then is given a couple years grace period, then their head coach gets fired after a lackluster season while being blown out in Bryant-Denny.

    9 years ago at 1:02 pm
  2. TheEmperor

    Your football predictions were hardly spot on – please tell me you at least think Hillary is going to be our next president.

    9 years ago at 1:25 pm
  3. SperrysandSlams1856

    It’s kinda like how TFM is desperate to sell Harambe shirts so they put a link for them in at least three articles a week.

    9 years ago at 6:28 pm
    1. The Great Fratsby-Aggie Edition

      Aggies are pretty stacked this year. I’m impressed but I know it’s still early in the season.

      9 years ago at 12:37 am