Augusta National Admits First Two Female Members

The 80 year sausagefest is over. Augusta National has extended invitations to women for the first time in its history, and both women have accepted. Who are the lucky ladies? Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and South Carolina financier Darla Moore.

Augusta’s inclusion of female members marks an historic day for the club, and will likely put to rest much of the criticism it has received in the past. Many remember that back in 2002 then chairman of Augusta National, Hootie Johnson, refuted criticism and pressure for the club to admit women by saying that Augusta might one day admit female members, “but not at the point of a bayonet.” That comment was naturally met with a tidal wave of PMS induced fury from scorned women across the country.

But the days of Augusta National pissing off women are over, that is until someone makes a racist/sexist joke right when Condi Rice is standing behind him. Awkward.

Current Augusta National chairman Billy Payne said of the inclusion of Rice and Moore, “This is a joyous occasion. It will be a proud moment when we present Condoleezza and Darla their green jackets when the club opens this fall.” Payne has been chairman of the club since 2006, when Hootie Johnson retired.

According to an anonymous source who spoke with ESPN, Moore and Rice first came under consideration for membership about five years ago. The two were likely unaware, at least for some time, as many prospective members of Augusta National aren’t often aware of their consideration.

Most would agree that in terms of accomplishment, both Rice and Moore are two very deserving candidates. Condoleezza Rice was the national security advisor and then Secretary of State under George W. Bush. She was also the first black woman to be a Stanford provost in 1993. Currently she is a professor of political economy at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business, which sources tell TFM News is a “really fucking good school.”

Darla Moore, meanwhile, is an accomplished financier in South Carolina.

From ESPN:

Moore, 58, first rose to prominence in the 1980s with Chemical Bank, where she became the highest-paid woman in the banking industry. She is vice president of Rainwater Inc., a private investment company founded by her husband, Richard Rainwater. She was the first woman to be profiled on the cover of Fortune Magazine, and she made a $25 million contribution to her alma mater, South Carolina, which renamed its business school after her.

Darla Moore and former club chairman Hootie Johnson are actually friends, both being from South Carolina and the financial community of the region. According to ESPN she and Johnson worked on South Carolina’s $300 million capital campaign in the late 1990s. Moore was actually mentioned as a candidate for membership in 2002, during the height of the controversy surrounding the club’s all male membership.

So an era is over, and women are now eligible to become members of Augusta National. While many people believe the new members won’t change the club dynamic, one has to wonder if that’s really true. Surely members will now think twice before posting nudey pics of their secretaries on the locker room board. Sex Tape Tuesday? Forget it. That all may be fine, but I swear to God if cart girls start mouthing off after a friendly ass slap I am just going to lose it. Sure I’m not a member and none of these made up things affect me in the slightest, but TRADITION! Rabble rabble rabble.

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    1. Frat Like a Boss

      That’s just unacceptable. I shall build the greatest golf course this country’s ever seen, and women will NOT be allowed.

      12 years ago at 8:03 pm
  1. rollinghills_bro

    where the f*** will their locker room be located? probably out somewhere near the kitchen maybe?

    12 years ago at 1:05 pm
    1. Oprah ls A Dyke

      ^Probably because I said, M.ex.i.can, as in, “Sounds like a M.e.x.ica.n dish,” as per the reference you were attempting to make.

      12 years ago at 3:00 pm
    2. FR

      Sorry Oprah, haven’t seen the episode at hand since 8th grade so I was simply going on memory from what it sounded like. I will make sure to double check all references made on totalfratmove in the future. And yes, you are still indeed, a dyke.

      12 years ago at 11:03 pm
    1. Danny Devitbro

      Did you hear that, bears? Now you’re putting the whole club at jeopardy!

      12 years ago at 1:38 pm
    1. rollinghills_bro

      she’d probably kick your butt. heard she has a 15-16 handicap which isn’t too bad. she’s already a member of four clubs, stanford, san francisco, shoal creek, and country club of birmingham.

      12 years ago at 1:56 pm
    2. Success

      When did a 15-16 handicap become “not too bad” especially for a member of a private club much less four?

      12 years ago at 2:12 pm
    3. rollinghills_bro

      given someone who’s f**ckin’ been directing our nation’s security interests, served as secretary of state, and ran stanford univeristy – i’d think it not too bad considering how much time she probably had for golf in between all that time. so what has anyone here done in the meanwhile while she was defending our nation? nuff said.

      12 years ago at 4:33 pm
    4. Dennis Reynolds

      ^ My guess is you have been fapping to pics of Condi on the net. As for the rest of us, we are still in college.

      Additionally, you don’t have to censor yourself. They only moderate racially ‘insensitive’ comments.

      12 years ago at 4:50 pm
    5. Success

      rollinghills, you did not condition your statement that 15-16 was “not too bad” for her job. You said that she could probably “kick your butt” with a 15-16 handicap. I stand by my earlier comment. It may be “not too bad” for her position/life but 15-16 ain’t good for someone who’s a member of 4 private clubs. And she hasn’t been in politics for a while and she certainly doesn’t “run Stanford”. She was a provost and now teaches. The end.

      12 years ago at 5:04 pm
    6. rollinghills_bro

      kay we just have different opinions. i think a 60-year old woman carrying a 15 handicap is not too bad overall. but yes, i could preface it better – not sure why she’s a member of four clubs anyway – incl two in ‘bama and one in conn? but i digress.

      12 years ago at 6:47 pm
    7. rollinghills_bro

      as provost in the 90s, she did run stanford. provost is the head of academics and budget at stanford. she was there when i was there.

      12 years ago at 6:50 pm