Bedroom Horror Stories: The Night A Threesome Turned My Girlfriend Into A Lesbian

Siblings of Mark Wahlberg9 years ago

The following depraved sexual mishappenings are based off of actual submissions from TFM readers.

My father once told me asking a woman for a three-way separates the men from the boys. That the threesome makes a man a legend among the male community. That they become immortal. Sarah and I had been together for almost six months, with a consistent record of semi-monogamous sex spanning nearly a year. At this point, I was bursting at the seams for a new orifice to explore and canvas to paint.

I actually had this odd sensation towards Sarah, it was unlike anything I had felt before. I didn’t want her to leave forever. I mean, I actually gave her my real name the first time we met. I even gave her an orgasm. I don’t know what got over me.

With all that being said, I needed a new avenue to satisfy my insatiable thirst for non-committal sex while remaining in a somewhat “committed” relationship. So here I am, unloading a stream of bullshit rivaled only by a Bernie Sanders speech while I tried to convince my girlfriend that a threesome would make our relationship better.

“Honey, I honestly think it would make us stronger. Even MORE in love.” She is clearly puzzled at this airtight argument.

“It will help us for me to pretend to be a lesbian so you can fuck someone else…?”

“Sarah, you don’t need to do anything you’re not comfortable with. This is just about feeling comfortable enough with each other to explore, knowing there are no feelings between anybody involved but us.”

I paused, waiting for the de facto “okay sure, but we get to do one with another guy then, too,” against which I wasn’t prepared to counter. I was really flying by the seat of my pants with this one. But there’s nothing but silence.

“Baby?”

She looks at me and smiles. I’m half expecting a swift kick to the groin when she says, “You know what? Fine. But I have to be really fucking drunk, and I get to pick the girl.”

Of course I pressed this divine intervention like a hot streak at the craps table and we made our way to the local watering hole that night. The tequila is flowing like the damned Mississippi River, a tactical genius move on my part knowing tequila is her weakness and gets her horny. This leads to her starting to survey the talent out that night. It was a pretty target rich environment, too. I felt like I was out with a pledge brother looking for strange.

“Baby, what about her? She’s got tits that could block out the sun.” She glares at me.

“I think you have an Asian fetish, so no fucking way. My choice, remember?”

“Fine, you tell me who and you approach her” I respond. She laughs.

“We both know you don’t have the game to make this happen. I got this.”

In fairness, she’s right, but that’s just because it is statistically nearly impossible to pull off the three-way with a stranger. Just then, she makes a bee line towards a petite Alpha Phi that caused me many a boners during my freshman year microeconomics class. It’s like she knew. God bless that woman. I’m full chubbed alone at the bar while my girlfriend is off chasing pussy. What a time to be alive.

I take one more shot and can’t bare to look anymore as they continue looking at me. Should I wave? Nod? The nod wave? The jerk off motion? Maybe show her that I eat that puss by flicking my tongue between my fingers? Nah, that’s a little aggressive. Better to just look away and drown myself in bourbon and pray for a functioning frock. I’m two more deep when I feel a tug on my shirt.

“Babe, this is Cara. Let’s go home.”

At this point, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that my girl’s first ever attempt at snagging twat usurped my abilities twenty-three years in the making. But the blood rushing to my little head has the sponge in my big one empty while giving way to nothing but my most primal interests.

Here I am, a college senior with an admittedly average physique and no extraordinary qualities aside from residing in a respectable fraternity, and I’m moments from Valhalla. I prayed for an Uber and restored my faith in Jesus as our Middle Eastern Prius owner arrived.

We get back to the apartment and all take a “get to know you” shot as we all awkwardly strip down to our underwear. I’m embarrassed when I realize, in a moment of actual self awareness, the regular disappointment that my girlfriend experiences can really only be magnified by two with the addition of a second vagina. I should have seen the inevitable collapse coming from a mile away. But this was my time, my first fur burger sandwich, and dammit to hell if I’m not going to go down swinging my less-than-mighty sword.

We start the group make out and double tits has me motorboating like I’m on Lake Michigan on the 4th of July. Cara’s tiny nipples looked hard enough to cut glass and tasted like DOTS candies in my mouth as I halfheartedly plucked whatever hole I could find. I go to kiss Sarah and she playfully bites my lip and moves to Cara, running her hands along her stomach before turning her around and kissing her neck. I’m raging at this point, focusing intently on my grandma riding my face to avoid cumming too soon. But even the horrific imagined imagery could hardly keep me from busting as my girlfriend began fingering Cara.

I pull Sarah away, but she quickly goes back to Cara. I’m behind them both now trying to figure out this 3 person puzzle as to how the fuck my piece fits in theirs. Cara pushes Sarah on the bed and traces her tongue down from her nipples to box, and I have my dick in hand ready to bend this girl over while she tongue lashes my girlfriend. This is the dream.

Except when I try to put it in she shimmies away, continuing her clam dive without me. Sarah is moaning unlike anything I’ve ever heard from her. I’m rabid at this point, so I climb on the bed, but Sarah waves my cock away like an overly persistent bouncer. I try again with Cara, but she pauses completely.

“Seriously, no.” And back on the futon I go. Still unable to contain myself, I realize in front of me is the greatest lesbian porn of all time. Cara is now licking Sarah’s clit for longer than I have in a year of fucking combined, and I’m beating my dick like it owes me money. Weird? Sure. But watching this, I’m like a squirrel: hell bent on getting my nut.

I’m about to finish, so I walk towards the bed again planning to recreate a real life Hub scene with the double facial.

“Ok, who wants it?” No response. I’m still pumping away.

“I’m close, Sarah. Come here.” Still nothing as they continue going to town on each other.

“I’m going to cum!” I lean in towards them, for some reason thinking I could just sort of go wherever I wanted.

Cara turns around and I’m so relieved, thinking I’ll alien probe her to finish, when she literally shoves me away from the bed. At this point I’m too close to stop, so I shoot a load all over myself like a fucking 12 year old spraying for the first time.

I’m sitting on the futon, alone, covered in my own seed, while my girlfriend moans her way to more orgasms than I ever thought possible. And that is the story of the night my girlfriend became a lesbian..

If you would like your bedroom nightmare mangled by a freelance writer so confident in his abilities he hides behind an alias, email the general plot points of your experience to siblingsofmarkwahlberg@gmail.com.