Bert the Broker: Where Are They Now?
Long ago, Bert Breakfast aka Bert the Broker emerged online to share his life philosophies in relation to the recession, partying with his boys, and picking up waitresses. Some of you are thinking, “Who the fuck is Bert the Broker?” Well, he was the president of Pi Kappa Alpha at his school before graduating and working for Goldman Sachs. He rocks a Bluetooth. He was going to go to the gym, but…8s and 9s? Fuck it. He’ll see you at happy hour.
Shortly after, Bert reemerged to address the icing craze, the oil spill, and dropping down a social level to dominate.
I recently found myself wondering what had become of Bert. Surely he is doing coke off strippers’ faces in The Hamptons, driving a Ferrari, and running around the beach, spanking ass of a questionable age. Right? Wrong. He’s “breaking the barrier” and sucking down girl farts.
What the fuck is this? Is Dick Perry dead.
13 years ago at 11:55 am^We can only hope.
13 years ago at 11:57 amNo I’m not dead you fucking doubter. Dick’s Picks Week 6 coming soon. Sleep with one eye open.
13 years ago at 11:58 am^We thought you OD’d on coke last weekend
13 years ago at 12:03 pm^^ That’s what I like to hear Sir. While I don’t take your advice, your videos are hilarious nonetheless.
13 years ago at 12:07 pmDick Perry, you are a fucking moron. I watched your score predictions, and not only were you wrong, but you looked like a fucking douche in the process
13 years ago at 9:54 pmanyone else stop reading once you saw PIKE?
13 years ago at 12:05 pm^this
13 years ago at 12:36 pmFuck it, I’ll see you at Happy Hour
13 years ago at 12:50 pm^^^That
13 years ago at 12:56 pmThose first two videos were pretty funny
13 years ago at 12:45 pmcup of cheese TFM
13 years ago at 1:05 pmMotion to black ball Dick Perry and bring this man back.
13 years ago at 1:13 pm2nd
13 years ago at 1:53 pmus wall street guys, yeah we get some perks
13 years ago at 1:54 pmThese videos were done by the people at brobible, If you want to know where TFM is headed, there you have it.
So disappointing.
13 years ago at 2:12 pmAgree. “Bro” and “Frat” are not one and the same.
13 years ago at 11:24 pmThis is fucking stupid.
13 years ago at 2:53 pmDick Perry and his slickback having nothing on Bert.
13 years ago at 3:35 pmBeing a pike and “rocking” a Bluetooth=NF.
13 years ago at 5:07 pm^ Second
13 years ago at 5:12 pm^ Great name
13 years ago at 11:53 am