Beta Dolphins Are Going Deaf Thanks To Loud Alpha Fish Fuck Parties

Socrates Johnson7 years ago

Guys, I’ve finally found it — my definitive spirit animal. It’s been a long and hard search (this joke will be funny later), but my spiritual journey has finally come to an end. I always thought I would land on a wolf, or a lion, or, in my more humbler moments, even a koala (since all they do is get fucked up on eucalyptus and sleep). But nay, it turns out my spirit animal is a species of fish known as the Gulf corvina.

Why choose not only a fish, but a fish that most people have never heard of? Because these little swimmers are not only sex-crazed maniacs, but they’re having deep-sea fuckfests (see “long and hard” comment from earlier) that are so loud, they’re causing dolphins and other beta-ass marine mammals to lose their hearing. Hell yes!

From The Guardian:

A species of Mexican fish amasses in reproductive orgies so loud they can deafen other sea animals, awed scientists have said, calling for preservation of the “spectacle” threatened by overfishing.

An individual spawning Gulf corvina, say the researchers, utters a mating call resembling “a really loud machine gun” with multiple rapid sound pulses.

And when hundreds of thousands of fish get together to spawn once a year “the collective chorus sounds like a crowd cheering at a stadium or perhaps a really loud beehive”, said study co-author Timothy Rowell from the University of San Diego.

“The sound levels generated by chorusing is loud enough to cause at least temporary if not permanent hearing loss in marine mammals that were observed preying on the fish.

This that shit I do like! Imagine your sex game being so strong that you’re not just waking your neighbors up with old school R&B tracks, but making them lose their goddamn hearing. Primal wildlife-type tomfoolery at its finest.

Them slick fishies are living their best lives, and either you’re joining in on the fun or you’re damn sure going to hear about it. So, good for them. Plus, dolphins are assholes anyway..

[via The Guardian]

Image via PxHere