Bid Or No Bid: “I am a high school freshman and I live the fraternity life”
9 years ago

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Let’s play a little game of “Bid or No Bid?” with a youngster who randomly emailed our tip line the other day for seemingly no other reason than to let our staff know he was living the frat lifestyle well before his time to join an actual fraternity was to come. In fact, “it all started in [his] middle school days.”

The kid, a high school freshman who will remain nameless, is full of piss and vinegar for all things frat. He drinks, smokes pot, lives in the #burbs, flaunts a bad boy reputation on the streets, and threw out all his NF clothing to make room for boat shoes and polos.

His email is below.

I am a high school freshman and I live the fraternity life. Most of you will probably blow this off because “I should be playing Pokemon and jerking off to nudie mags” but I enjoy the fraternity life not for the girls, alcohol or the illusion of a drunken Utopia but for the brotherhood that can be appreciated through out one’s life…and the alcohol.

The wealth and class assumed when initiated into a fraternity first gathered my attention. I strive to be better than my middle class parents. Better than old navy and target brand jeans. Supporting my self without the assistance of financial aid. That is what I strive for and the fraternity life exemplifies those goals.

It all started in my middle school days. I was a year older than most kids in my class and had half a beard and foot on each one of them. I was good enough with girls and had a solid group of friends to ravage through the streets of my suburban hometown in Georgia. I started to meet a group of older guys around the middle of my 8th grade year. They started to introduce me to alcohol, marijuana, and tobacco products. All making me feel older and cooler but nearly ruining my reputation with the power force of moms in my town who were virtually clones of Amy Poehlers character in Mean Girls. I had a black mark on my name that I desperately wanted to change.

I was a good time having, middle school kid dressed in jeans and a graphic tee. I watched my brother, who would soon be going off to college, wearing khakis and boat shoes and expressing his excitement for college and Rush week. He told me stories about experiences he’d been told, they proved to be stretched far beyond reality but still made for a good story. I concluded I wanted those stories to happen to me. I wanted to be that guy who drank to his hearts consent without consequences, the guy who drunkenly hit on girls by telling a sexist joke and taking home the girl!

I wanted to be frat.

I chucked my old navy jeans and started wearing khakis. Gave my graphic tees away and started to wearing polos. My old tattered Nikes turned to sperrys and I felt like a man.

I wanted to have class but be as rowdy as I wanted. I was setting my self up for success.

By now, you’re probably thinking “What a fucking try hard” or “My god, I want to punch this in the face” and I get that. Im 15 years old and writing about being a fraternity member! It’s understandable. I know im not a true fraternity member yet and im sure loads of people hate my guts but I don’t give a damn. I am a rowdy, well dressed, degenerate trying to have a good time so next time you seen a skinny kid in boat shoes, a polo, and a bad beard, you can think of me. TFM.

Threw away his Old Navy jeans? ✓
Drinks and smokes? ✓
Runs the #burbs? ✓
Lives the bad boy lifestyle? ✓
Is a legacy? ✓
Definition of “consent” a little hazy? ✓
Wants to take girls home on the reg? ✓
Is a rowdy, well dressed, 15-year-old degenerate trying to have a good time in boat shoes and a polo? ✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓

Bid.

    1. Money_Ball

      Children everywhere rejoice as Roger Dorn trades in Chuck E Cheese for High School football practices.

      9 years ago at 4:51 pm
      1. SharkWeekTFM

        Firstly, look who is talking here. Keep that in mind.
        I am going to get so many “Take a Laps” for this but that’s part of the point.
        What the fuck is a “Take a Lap” worth in real life? TFM isn’t real life.

        Other than the fact that he is seeking validation from this site, this kid has gumption. What kid at 15 isn’t seeking some kind of validation for his thoughts and feelings? Were you feeling any different as a freshman going through rush, let along a fucking 15 year old?

        This kid is devoted to a goal. He is earnest. He is self centered and interested in increasing his power and influence when he is a young adult in college. That shit spills over the rest of a pledge class. If I had described a rushee the same way, that’d have made your ears perk up, no? Should he have exposed how few fucks he gives to the general public? Maybe not here and the way he did, but how many NF atrocities did you commit as a high schooler?

        Haze the fuck out of this kid for having the balls to describe himself to you in this way. But if he makes it through, comes to a legitimate understanding of this world, and is half as frat as he thinks he is, your chapter might be that much better off.

        Have a good night. And fuck you kid.

        9 years ago at 9:55 pm
    3. Johnny Lawrence

      This reads like try hard in their mid-20’s thinks a try hard in their mid-teens would think. I would bet a months worth of drinking it’s completely made up.

      9 years ago at 11:57 am
      3. FuckingLegend

        If you are looking for a pre-pubescent piece of “fun” at your local Chuck-E-Cheese, maybe.

        9 years ago at 4:45 pm
      5. dandawg

        This man knows what’s up. Preciate the post. Who cares about grammar and spelling right?

        9 years ago at 7:37 pm
    1. DornsFather94

      If he was a future tke he would be walking around with a ponytail and an e-cig

      9 years ago at 11:19 am
  10. BarelyNotAGDI

    I’d say it’s rather debatable that he’s actually living the fraternity life at fifteen.

    9 years ago at 4:41 pm