Blowfish Is A Hangover-Killing Christmas Miracle
8 years ago

blowfish

The holiday season is hangover season. Especially for me. I use alcohol as a coping mechanism and have more issues to cope with than Santa flying his sleigh over Russian airspace in a blizzard.

“I’m an artist, DAD!”

“You wrote about dicks twelve times last week you’re a sick pervert.”

So yeah, even if you’re not exactly like me, the holiday season is also Blowfish season. Or it should be.

Blowfish is my go-to hangover fix, especially now that it’s peak binge drinking season. This time of year, Blowfish is as much a part of my morning routine as coffee and disappointed looks from my mom.

It’s pretty simple. After a night of over-nogging, you drop two Blowfish tablets in water, drink, and your hangover melts away like a shitty Christmas memory. Blowfish’s formulation is recognized as effective by the FDA. Translation: it’s real medicine that’s guaranteed to work, unlike your BS home remedy of two Gatorades and a pizza.

Trust me. Load up on Blowfish in time for New Year’s and have it at-the-ready for the holiday party home stretch. Plus, it’s a solid last minute gift for every low-life degenerate on your Christmas list. Blowfish constitutes roughly two-thirds of my apartment’s medicine cabinet. I bought it in bulk and right now they’re letting TFM pass our 20% corporate discount onto you. That’s less than two bucks a hangover, so yeah. Go to forhangovers.com and use promo code TFM16.

Or, if you’re hurting right now you can find it in the pain reliever aisle at CVS (here’s their store locator). Hint: it’s hidden on one of the lowest shelves near the old people back pills. But it’s there. And it’s worth the effort to find.

  2. DrGonzoTFM

    “You wrote about dicks twelve times last week you’re a sick pervert.” At least you have some sense of self-awareness.

    8 years ago at 3:13 pm
      1. Henry_Eighth

        Submitted for your consideration: Two accounts, “maxload” and “GabeAthouse.” Both accounts were created today, both commented only on this article, both were highly supportive of the product, both are from New York, the home of Rally Labs which makes – you guessed it – Blowfish. Fuck you and your shitty fucking repackaged aspirin. I hope you get fired for your totally incompetent efforts. PS: Fuck you.

        8 years ago at 11:56 pm
      2. Henry_Eighth

        And your “Max Load” Facebook page is laughable: a fake account created to “Like” posts on the Blowfish page and to make negative reviews of competing products. You just aren’t very good at this.

        8 years ago at 1:14 am
      3. JohnMehoff

        Bacon received compensation in the form of a max load to the face for writing this advertisement

        8 years ago at 4:52 am
      1. Henry_Eighth

        It’s 500mg aspirin and 60mg caffeine. Take 2 aspirin tablets with a glass of iced tea, tough guy.

        8 years ago at 11:08 pm
      2. Henry_Eighth

        The genius behind this pathetic attempt at marketing was probably Joshua Perlow, the “Director of Social Media” for Rally Labs. Hey, Joshua, next time ask Bacon to turn off the comments. You might have to give him an extra case of your shit product and buy a couple of Rowdy Gentleman T-shirts, but it should be worth it.

        8 years ago at 6:36 am
  4. RaginBush84

    These are a god send as long as you’re not so hungover that the taste makes you vomit not that I would know anything about that

    8 years ago at 3:23 pm
  7. MrKowalski

    Could give two shits about this stuff but I respect Bacon for leaving the comments on for this “article.” Looking at you, Dorno.

    8 years ago at 4:26 pm
  8. GabeAthouse

    Cheesy “article” but the shit works. But a lot of people on here have the cool gene which prevents hangovers too.

    8 years ago at 9:42 pm
    1. Henry_Eighth

      Do you know you’re an ad? Yeah I guess you do because you work for Rally Labs, the makers of this joke of a product.

      8 years ago at 7:08 am
  9. TaylorSwiftsPubeGroomer

    I live by 2 rules. You don’t have to get up if you never lay down and you won’t be hung over if you never stop drinking

    8 years ago at 11:37 pm

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