Boston Is The World’s Most Frat City

PortlandPledgeHazers8 years ago

Although Philadelphia is technically the “City of Brotherly Love,” I have to think otherwise. Boston, Massachusetts is truly the most frat city in the world.

I am certainly not stating that Boston-area schools have the best Greek life; we all know that pretty much any Southern college town trumps Bean Town in that regard. But what the city lacks in fraternity grandeur, it makes up for with its “we’re better than you and we know it” fraternity attitude.

Much like a well-run fraternity chapter, Boston is a utopia of booze-loving Americans who have each other’s backs and don’t give a rat’s ass about what anyone outside their own people has to say. Also similar to fraternity life? Outsiders looking in absolutely hate Boston. They win everything they compete in, party their balls off, and oh-so-pompously *know* that they’re superior to the people that so dearly hate them. Through history and in modern days, the city of Boston has kept their “fuck you” attitude.

Speaking of history, Boston was the first city to tell the English to pound sand. You can thank Boston the next time you put on that “Running The World Since 1776” tank you love so dearly.

The only thing more famous than the city’s history is its professional sports teams. Boston sports are among the most despised in the nation, but their fans could not care less. Remember when your chapter was caught having pledges vandalize your rival’s house while they were all visibly drunk and underaged? You found some loopholes, sent a diplomatic brother to the dean’s office, and BOOM — only a semester-long probation rather than you guys losing your charter. You and the boys thought you ran shit after that; thought you could pull off anything.

Now think of a similar circumstance, only it happened after an AFC Championship win and you were summoned by a U.S. court to testify. Brady and the Patriots pulled one of the oldest tricks in the fraternal book —
bullshitting your way out of anything — and came out practically scot-free despite everyone knowing what really went down. Boston sports are reminiscent of both the seven-time Greek league flag football champions that you hate yet respect and the top tier fraternity whose bold-faced lies have saved their charter too many times to count.

Boston, never change your ways. You know how to live and win better than any other city. Boston as a city is just one big fraternity, and those who hate it the most just wish they’d gotten bids..

Image via Shutterstock