Bottom Tier Problems
“Dude I took down a whole case by myself last night… and no girls helped!”
“I would have had a date for formal…but all the girls I asked had date functions that weekend. Chalk it up to poor planning I guess…”
“We don’t like having girls at rush because we think it takes away from showcasing our brotherhood.”
“Double digit pledge class? Is that a record?”
“I sit behind the hottest ADPi in Bio, I introduced myself as the kid that sits behind her when I saw her at the bar last night, she thought it was hilarious. She must be sick though, I haven’t seen her in class for a while.”
“We are easily the chilliest frat on row.”
“Where is Costa Del Mar?”
“The house is a great place to study.”
“I could kill for a clove.”
“Our house is so FUCKING huge that people get lost in it. Sometimes I’ll be talking to a girl and the next thing I know she’s nowhere to be found.”
“But seriously, our house is really big, bro, that’s why it doesn’t look like many people are here.”
“I don’t care what you say, Ed Hardy is comfortable as shit.”
“Two fives is like one 10 right?”
“I’m more of a vodka cran kind of guy.”
“I can’t believe 10 kids dropped the first week…pussies.”
“We’re on the rise.”
“Can I get a lip?…Oh…nevermind…I only dip pouches.”
“That Polo Tat is SO FRAT.”
“Hope we get homecoming with…anyone”
“Incoming freshman girls LOVE our parties, although they don’t come around as much in the fall because school is so hard.”
“We like to take smaller pledge classes, it makes for a better brotherhood.”
“Yeah man, that actor/President was a brother here…well not here, at another chapter…in another state…60 years ago.”
“We’re one of the biggest fraternities…nationally.”
“High School was awesome.”
“We pride ourselves in intramurals…Back-to-Back Ultimate Frisbee Champs!”
“We’re really involved…we brought Humans Vs. Zombies to campus.”
“We’ve been on Fail Friday 6 times…TFTC.”
“Totally pregamed free movie night at the Union…FAF.”
“Man, I feel like EVERY girl I vibe with has a boyfriend.”
“Non-Secretive, Non-Hazing, Non-Exclusionary.”
Feel free to continue in the comments or on Twitter: #BottomTierProblems
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Bottom Tier Problem: Trying to be first on this column
13 years ago at 11:51 amIf it wasn’t for your name, I would have hurt your feelings.
13 years ago at 12:44 pmToo soon?
13 years ago at 1:15 pm^The winner of every ‘too soon’ joke ever.
13 years ago at 1:17 pmPerfect timing.
13 years ago at 1:19 pm(But srsly, they do)
13 years ago at 4:46 pm^Abbreviating comments on TFM. TTKEM.
13 years ago at 1:37 amFuck TKE. Too son?
13 years ago at 10:27 amNot soon enough.
13 years ago at 1:35 pm“All the sorority girls love me. They always call me their BFF!” #BottomTierProblems
13 years ago at 11:51 am^aha, this fucking guy
13 years ago at 1:15 pmFriend zone fraternity
13 years ago at 1:36 pmmoodle problems
13 years ago at 4:07 pmIn regards to your comment, well done.
13 years ago at 10:23 amThat being said, hash tagging on TFM? Really?
I feel like it’s rude to call out Pikes this many times in one column
13 years ago at 11:51 am“We only drink beer, but we make a special punch for the girls that come over.”
13 years ago at 11:59 am^^It’s so rude to call out people that aren’t mentioned here. For all you know it could be your Fraternity, just another chapter. Dumbass.
13 years ago at 12:10 pm^Agree. This kid must be a fucking TKE since he’s ignoring the picture at the top.
13 years ago at 12:17 pmPikes are way worse than Tekes….
13 years ago at 12:20 pm^YEAH! PIKE SUXX! lol
13 years ago at 4:45 pm(But srsly, pike sux)
13 years ago at 4:47 pmIf you didnt know TKEpledge, I haze pledges.
13 years ago at 10:09 pm^internet tough guy. watch out.
13 years ago at 12:02 amThis article was defiantly written about Sig Eps
13 years ago at 3:09 am^ and ^^ written about TKE and Sig Ep. Not PIKE!
13 years ago at 11:02 am^^Strong defiance exhibited here
13 years ago at 4:59 pmPretty funny.
13 years ago at 11:51 am^agreed brother
13 years ago at 12:38 pmSci Fi.. FaF
13 years ago at 6:47 pmPhi Psi not Sci Fi. Lace em up
13 years ago at 7:32 amMaybe a joke?
13 years ago at 10:05 amYou, Chuds, lace the fuck up.
13 years ago at 6:34 pm^got some bleach with your name on it.
13 years ago at 8:17 amSome of these are spot on, I’ve been told several when rushing
13 years ago at 11:52 amRead: “I tell a lot of kids these when rushing.”
13 years ago at 11:57 am“I know this one guy, who said that, this one time.”
13 years ago at 8:11 pm“Yeah we’re just the house that doesn’t give a fuck”
13 years ago at 11:53 am“We’re probably top house. If not top then definitely top three…”
13 years ago at 12:25 pm“Yeah, I totally remember all of the football game.”
13 years ago at 1:48 pmFIRST!!
13 years ago at 11:53 amSomeone please tell me why in the fuck people try to get the first comment. I just dont get some people. Then again, I guess I will never understand homosexuality.
13 years ago at 3:03 pm^ Gay is pretty easy to understand. Either you like dick in your butthole or you don’t.
13 years ago at 9:30 pm^Something was done here.
13 years ago at 9:30 pmHe is from the North, can you blame him?
13 years ago at 11:22 pmi’ve actually heard some of these lines haha
13 years ago at 11:53 amballoon animals are fucking awesome man fuck you
13 years ago at 3:35 pmTHIS ^
13 years ago at 1:37 amTKE, Sig Ep, PIKE
13 years ago at 11:54 amBut especially TKE
13 years ago at 11:55 amDon’t forget Kappa Sigs.
13 years ago at 12:15 pmNah, K-Sig is okay.
13 years ago at 12:54 pmSig Chi
13 years ago at 1:16 pmthe funny thing is that sigmachi and kappasig are good as long as they arent at a bottom tier school.
13 years ago at 1:25 pm^ Which could be said for literally every major fraternity
13 years ago at 1:46 pm^ Nope, just Sigma Chi.
13 years ago at 8:50 pm^ Help, the brightness is just too much for my obscurity
13 years ago at 10:33 pmKappa Sigma at every school except for Western Carolina…
13 years ago at 10:40 pmThe fuck is wrong with Sigma Chi?
13 years ago at 10:12 amNothing is wrong with Sigma Chi, just look at their Alpha chapter…o wait nvm
13 years ago at 10:29 amPike is awesome.
13 years ago at 11:04 amFuck Sigma Chi
13 years ago at 12:46 pm“Our pinnies for Greek Week got back-ordered, so we just wore last year’s t-shirt! Vintage!”
13 years ago at 11:54 am“Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear!”
13 years ago at 11:55 am“PNM’s need to understand that we’re much more frat than that ABC Family show.”
13 years ago at 11:58 amWhen we said we did not haze, we meant it.
13 years ago at 10:42 pm