Bottom Tier Problems
“Dude I took down a whole case by myself last night… and no girls helped!”
“I would have had a date for formal…but all the girls I asked had date functions that weekend. Chalk it up to poor planning I guess…”
“We don’t like having girls at rush because we think it takes away from showcasing our brotherhood.”
“Double digit pledge class? Is that a record?”
“I sit behind the hottest ADPi in Bio, I introduced myself as the kid that sits behind her when I saw her at the bar last night, she thought it was hilarious. She must be sick though, I haven’t seen her in class for a while.”
“We are easily the chilliest frat on row.”
“Where is Costa Del Mar?”
“The house is a great place to study.”
“I could kill for a clove.”
“Our house is so FUCKING huge that people get lost in it. Sometimes I’ll be talking to a girl and the next thing I know she’s nowhere to be found.”
“But seriously, our house is really big, bro, that’s why it doesn’t look like many people are here.”
“I don’t care what you say, Ed Hardy is comfortable as shit.”
“Two fives is like one 10 right?”
“I’m more of a vodka cran kind of guy.”
“I can’t believe 10 kids dropped the first week…pussies.”
“We’re on the rise.”
“Can I get a lip?…Oh…nevermind…I only dip pouches.”
“That Polo Tat is SO FRAT.”
“Hope we get homecoming with…anyone”
“Incoming freshman girls LOVE our parties, although they don’t come around as much in the fall because school is so hard.”
“We like to take smaller pledge classes, it makes for a better brotherhood.”
“Yeah man, that actor/President was a brother here…well not here, at another chapter…in another state…60 years ago.”
“We’re one of the biggest fraternities…nationally.”
“High School was awesome.”
“We pride ourselves in intramurals…Back-to-Back Ultimate Frisbee Champs!”
“We’re really involved…we brought Humans Vs. Zombies to campus.”
“We’ve been on Fail Friday 6 times…TFTC.”
“Totally pregamed free movie night at the Union…FAF.”
“Man, I feel like EVERY girl I vibe with has a boyfriend.”
“Non-Secretive, Non-Hazing, Non-Exclusionary.”
Feel free to continue in the comments or on Twitter: #BottomTierProblems
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“Where is Costa Del Mar?” Classic.
13 years ago at 11:57 am^
13 years ago at 8:09 am“Pizza and movie nights at the house get pretty crazy”
13 years ago at 11:58 am“Our intern moderates comments so things don’t get too out of hand”
13 years ago at 11:59 am^This guy
13 years ago at 12:36 pmYes^^
13 years ago at 4:50 pmWas something was done here?
13 years ago at 11:45 pm^^^ oh fuck yes
13 years ago at 8:08 amThe picture works great for the column.
13 years ago at 12:04 pmThis article reeked of DU.
13 years ago at 12:06 pmMy thoughts exactly, especially the last one.
13 years ago at 12:18 pmDelta Oops-I-Signed.
13 years ago at 12:29 pmDucks Unlimited?
13 years ago at 2:10 pm^Ducks unlimited….this guy right right here.
13 years ago at 3:42 pmdelta poopsilon
13 years ago at 7:48 pmThat’s smelta poopsilon to you there, chief.
13 years ago at 10:37 pmThis needed the voice of jimmy tatro
13 years ago at 12:12 pm“Yeah dude, two fives totally makes a ten.”
13 years ago at 11:17 pm^ nailed it.
13 years ago at 1:35 am“we have a great relationship with our Greek advisor”
13 years ago at 12:17 pm^ LOL!!! Too true at my campus
13 years ago at 1:34 pm^wtf
13 years ago at 2:00 pm^^”Lol.” NF
13 years ago at 12:42 amEvery fraternity has bad chapters, but damn the picture in this column makes me want to haze the fuck out of those guys. None of those guys would have got a bid at our chapter.
13 years ago at 12:18 pmPlease tell me you’re a TKE at Cincinnati.
13 years ago at 12:48 pm^^ Trying way too hard, bud. Seems like you’re an SAE here…
13 years ago at 1:33 pmYea, please tell him!
13 years ago at 1:35 pmShutup DII
13 years ago at 7:49 pmThese guys would never get a bid at our chapter. Unless we gave them a bid, hazed the shit out of them, and then dropped them.
13 years ago at 5:45 pmThe writer of this column is definitely on the up and up.
13 years ago at 12:19 pmI concur.
13 years ago at 12:57 pm“We’re on the rise” is without a doubt the most bottom-tier thing to say.
13 years ago at 12:22 pmOn the rise we’re
13 years ago at 12:23 pmStop
13 years ago at 12:28 pm