Bottom Tier Problems
“Dude I took down a whole case by myself last night… and no girls helped!”
“I would have had a date for formal…but all the girls I asked had date functions that weekend. Chalk it up to poor planning I guess…”
“We don’t like having girls at rush because we think it takes away from showcasing our brotherhood.”
“Double digit pledge class? Is that a record?”
“I sit behind the hottest ADPi in Bio, I introduced myself as the kid that sits behind her when I saw her at the bar last night, she thought it was hilarious. She must be sick though, I haven’t seen her in class for a while.”
“We are easily the chilliest frat on row.”
“Where is Costa Del Mar?”
“The house is a great place to study.”
“I could kill for a clove.”
“Our house is so FUCKING huge that people get lost in it. Sometimes I’ll be talking to a girl and the next thing I know she’s nowhere to be found.”
“But seriously, our house is really big, bro, that’s why it doesn’t look like many people are here.”
“I don’t care what you say, Ed Hardy is comfortable as shit.”
“Two fives is like one 10 right?”
“I’m more of a vodka cran kind of guy.”
“I can’t believe 10 kids dropped the first week…pussies.”
“We’re on the rise.”
“Can I get a lip?…Oh…nevermind…I only dip pouches.”
“That Polo Tat is SO FRAT.”
“Hope we get homecoming with…anyone”
“Incoming freshman girls LOVE our parties, although they don’t come around as much in the fall because school is so hard.”
“We like to take smaller pledge classes, it makes for a better brotherhood.”
“Yeah man, that actor/President was a brother here…well not here, at another chapter…in another state…60 years ago.”
“We’re one of the biggest fraternities…nationally.”
“High School was awesome.”
“We pride ourselves in intramurals…Back-to-Back Ultimate Frisbee Champs!”
“We’re really involved…we brought Humans Vs. Zombies to campus.”
“We’ve been on Fail Friday 6 times…TFTC.”
“Totally pregamed free movie night at the Union…FAF.”
“Man, I feel like EVERY girl I vibe with has a boyfriend.”
“Non-Secretive, Non-Hazing, Non-Exclusionary.”
Feel free to continue in the comments or on Twitter: #BottomTierProblems
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I don’t care what you say girls are for rush afterparties. Having girls at rush is just a creative way of saying “our brotherhood is pretty gay so here are some vaginas to distract you”
12 years ago at 1:44 pm^Gets it
12 years ago at 2:00 pm^^ Completely agree
12 years ago at 6:51 pm“Our Common room is dry”
12 years ago at 1:46 pm“Our house has a lot of history – we got it in 1975.”
12 years ago at 2:07 pmWhy don’t you just call it TKE problems?
12 years ago at 2:19 pmFuk you.
12 years ago at 4:56 pmAgain, I have the the urgent need to want to haze you. And pretty much every time I see you name on this column.
12 years ago at 10:14 pmHaha and what fraternity are you in?
12 years ago at 10:45 pmYour name ruins any credibility you could possibly have. You should be hazed until you die, sir.
12 years ago at 5:48 pmSounds like Delta Oops to me. The ones on our campus live in a basement underneath dorms.
12 years ago at 2:45 pm^ You must go to a shitty school.
12 years ago at 2:46 pmWhat campus is that?
12 years ago at 2:48 pmI give you a thunderous applasue for your name sir
12 years ago at 10:15 pm“They only throw bigger parties because of their house”
12 years ago at 3:06 pm“No we’re not having anything at the house tonight. You should come over after their foam party though!”
12 years ago at 3:47 pmThis is pretty accurate.
12 years ago at 3:57 pmhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Vy4PzRhBO0&feature=player_embedded#t=29s
12 years ago at 5:00 pmTheDapperDipper is in a bottom tier fraternity and he tries shitting on the tkes at uf. amazing.
12 years ago at 5:17 pm