Browns Safety Damarious Randall Promises Giveaway If The Cavs Win The NBA Finals
In a shocking development, Stephy Mouthguard and the Golden State Warriors will again face off with King Bron Bron and the Cleveland Cavaliers for an NBA championship. As fans of the Boston Celtics and Houston Rockets nurse the pain game seven choke-jobs (sorry, Ross), the rest of us are looking ahead to yet another installment of this series.
Could the Warriors pull a sweep? It’s not impossible. Or could LeBron throw down a couple of 45-spots in route to a seven game clincher? Not totally out of the realm of possibility either. We’ve seen both happen, and to be honest I’m hoping that this time around it’s something like the latter.
No, not because it will cause Kevin Durant to go HAM on his burner accounts, and not because I want to see Ayesha Curry firing off “this shit is rigged” takes while her camera-hungry daughter cries in her arms, but rather because it will force the following to come true.
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Bold proclamation out of new Cleveland Brown Damarious Randall. For those who don’t know, Randall is all in on the Golden State Warriors. His tweet storms throughout the NBA playoffs have already ruffled some Cleveland fans’ feathers. But even for the sake of a trolling, this was a wild proclamation. That shit’s at 300 THOUSAND at the time of writing this, and will surely only climb. Even a billionaire would have trouble fulfilling an order that hefty. Logistics, ya know?
When a rational human being called Damarious out like “no way you get this done,” what did our guy? Did he take this as an opportunity to realize his mistake and back out while he still has a chance to? Nope, he doubled down.
Either this guy is really committed to buying the people of Cleveland’s love or he’s very confident in Golden State’s three ball. Either way, I hope bankrupting him will be enough motivation to propel the Cavs to victory. Better get some sponsors to subsidize this project — just in case. Go Cavs..
Image via Wikimedia Commons
Always a good feeling to know you have significantly more money that just about every professional athlete on the planet
7 years ago at 3:22 pm