Canada’s Got Jokes For America This Election Season

LifeOfaReilly8 years ago

Canada, otherwise known as that Russian shaped country above the United States on a map, wants to “help their friend in need,” America, by reminding us how great we already are.

This campaign effort was started by a Canadian creative agency. From Medium:

It’s no secret that America is going through a hard time right now. The election has exposed some pretty scary realities that will likely challenge them for years to come, regardless of who’s elected. They’ve been bombarded with a tremendous amount of negativity and it’s likely that for many of them, the immediate future seems rather bleak.

With that, it occurred to us that America could probably use a little cheering up. That’s why we created the “Tell America it’s great” campaign. As their closest friends and neighbors, we thought it was important for us to do something to cut through the negativity and help remind them that no matter how bad things might seem, there are a lot of reasons to believe that America is still pretty great.

Canada is nothing more than a roster spot holder for North America. Know your role and shut your mouth. You’re the last man on the bench that doesn’t even take his jumpsuit off and watches in admiration as Michael Jordan single-handedly brings home a championship.

Yes, Americans are well aware that this presidential election is a lose-lose situation for our country. However, on Nov. 9, the day after the election, Americans will wake up, eat a piece of real bacon, not mind our fucking manners, continue to become self-made billionaires who create shit, not watch hockey, wash down a burger with a 64 oz. soda and polish up our firearms as we go about our thriving lives. That’s more than our soon-to-be hibernating neighbors in the north can say on their best day.

The only way I can see a relationship between America and Canada being salvaged after this campaign is if Rob Ford comes back from the dead. How quickly those maple leaf ass wipers forgot about the world’s most notorious major city leader calling their own backyard his home. I’ll be the first to admit that I miss the man. I would’ve happily sponsored him to become an American citizen. He did his best to live the dream and Canada sucked the life right out of him. It’s a shame he never got to live the American Dream.

[via Medium]

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