Check Out Jahlil Okafor’s Alpha Phi Slam
I’m all in on my Philadelphia 76ers newest addition, Jahlil Okafor. Sure, we might’ve already had two big men that were set to be the cornerstones of the franchise, but you can never have enough towers patrolling the paint. Clearly that’s Sam Hinkie’s philosophy, since he went ahead and drafted five more front court players in the second round. #TrustTheProcess
Hinkie assured his loyal minions, myself included, that Okafor was not a trade chip and that the 6’10” center would be a vital part of the Sixers’ future. So since you’re here to stay for the long haul, Jahlil, it’s best we get to know each other.
Oaks — it’s alright if I call you that, right? Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and take the liberty of giving myself permission to call you that since I can tell you’re a pretty happy go lucky dude. Anyway, part of this job that I have is constantly receiving submissions for a feature on the site called Instagram Babe of the Day. I don’t want to waste your valuable time with the details, but I came across an email this morning with a link to this USC Alpha Phi’s Instagram and they claimed that she was “sorta having a thing” with you. Their words, not mine.
After some further investigating, you two certainly know each other.
Now I never claimed to be an expert on relationships, but when you win a girl a giant stuffed frog(?) at the fair, things are getting pretty serious. Next thing you know, you’re picking strawberries together or hitting up the local crafts bazaar on a Saturday morning. It wouldn’t shock me if you two rescue a puppy from a shelter in the coming weeks. All I’m saying is that she seems like a great girl, Oaks. And great girls are hard to come by, especially for a professional athlete. I wish you two love birds nothing but the best.
We’re going to have to get her some number 15 Sixers threads.
When you have no time for a presser because you have a hot date with bae..
Image via Instagram
I wonder how many white boys are gonna touch themselves to this.
10 years ago at 12:01 pmWhat a strange thing to wonder.
10 years ago at 12:11 pmNah man i’m not actually wondering
10 years ago at 12:15 pmPretty certain most are headed to pornhub to find the nastiest bm/wf interracial they can find.
Actually…. you’re wrong.
10 years ago at 12:29 pmSo you say
10 years ago at 1:05 pmI beg to differ though
It cant be that you talk for all white boys- i bet plenty are hoping to God that they can pull off a mack prioleau at least once in their lifetime
Dude, that’s really fucked up.
10 years ago at 1:15 pmwhite boys….smh right?
10 years ago at 1:20 pmThis guy won a national championship, was the third pick in the NBA draft and is now a millionaire. You think your racist comments do anything but show your own ignorance? His only problem now is that he has to play for the 76’ers.
10 years ago at 6:43 pmwhat the fuck are you talking about? What racism?
10 years ago at 7:00 pmI guess they bonded over never knowing their fathers
10 years ago at 12:11 pmI’m gonna be that dick that unnecessarily corrects you. His mother died when he was a kid and all he has is his dad. Lap me if ya want, i just wanted to show some respect.
10 years ago at 12:49 pmOn top of that, his dad seems like his biggest fan. During televised Duke games they’d show him up in the stands cheering like hell while wearing a shirt with Jahlil’s face on it.
10 years ago at 1:00 pmWearing a shirt with a family member’s face on it is usually a TBlackPersonM but in his case it’s a power move. TFTC.
10 years ago at 1:35 pmNot to break up the good feelings, but his dad is a huge douche. I went to an AAU camp and saw him there and his dad tried to fight their coach and the refs on two separate occasions.
10 years ago at 2:35 pmclassic case of ghetto ethics,”I’m always right and you’re just racist”
10 years ago at 3:02 pmHis dad is college educated and a master chess player. Jahlil grew up playing chess and tuba. Making fun of ghetto people is ok, but attacking responsible blacks is ridiculous. Pro tip: blacks with foreign-sounding last names usually come from good families.
10 years ago at 3:51 pmpro tip:
10 years ago at 4:56 pmbeing a master chess player is about as impressive as being principle of a home school
*principal
10 years ago at 5:27 pm[insert dumb home school joke here]
I didn’t realize being college educated was a feat at this point.
10 years ago at 6:22 pmFuck you Barry
10 years ago at 1:14 pmWell, she definitely had father issues growing up.
10 years ago at 12:26 pmOf course she would be from California. TLiberalM.
10 years ago at 12:37 pmAre you implying that conservatives are racist and liberals aren’t?
10 years ago at 4:24 pmIt’s that damn rap music.
10 years ago at 1:14 pmLooks like she picked money instead of her father.
10 years ago at 1:52 pm*she picked being a single mother
10 years ago at 3:00 pmHer dad’s rich. She just chose #DatBBC.
10 years ago at 4:11 pmThis is about to be a long comment but there aren’t any FORUMS so this is really my only option. Lap the hell out of me if you want.
Denzel, based off of your comments both on this article and others, I’m going to assume you’re black. I have a question that I can’t really ask any of my black friends because it’s frankly kind of an awkward topic that doesn’t really ever come up in conversation: Why do so many black men embrace the BBC myth? I say myth because in all of the dick size studies I’ve seen (which are, granted, typically pretty unreliable) most of them have found no significant difference in average length across races. The myth that black guys have huge dongs was actually started in slave times by whites in order to make blacks seem more animalistic and sexually aggressive (to make people, especially white women, think of them as intellectually/morally inferior and scary). To further perpetuate this notion, some whites would even lynch black men naked if they were well-endowed or cut off their dicks and show them to people. Some pretty fucked up, racist stuff. This myth stood up to the test of time, and still (in my opinion) plays a role in further straining black/white tensions for diluted versions of the reasons they did back 200 years ago. Hell, Dylan Roof allegedly said something along the lines of black men “raping our women” before opening fire in Charleston.
So basically my question is, besides obvious sophomoric reasons, why would black men want to uphold something with such hateful and racist origins?
10 years ago at 9:57 pmGreat question, Larry. To be clear, I used “Dat BBC” as a joke (urban spelling was intentional). It’s as strange a question as asking why blacks continue to refer to themselves as perhaps the most vile racial slur in U.S. history. It’s mostly internalized racism. We typically embrace the stereotypes foisted upon us by white society (check any black comedian and observe the “black are dumb but athletic with big dicks; whites are weak and unathletic but rich and can’t dance” tropes. It could be straight out of a KKK brochure.
10 years ago at 11:13 pmTo be completely honest, I’ve heard the BBC thing more from white girls than anyone else. Girls will come up to me at bars and ask about it, grab my crotch, etc. Although I’m a good looking bro who could pull chicks regardless, I think many of my hookups are influenced by the “myth.” And to be clear, the stereotype is still mostly advanced by white america (see white owned porn companies and their approach to IR, which is objectively pretty offensive). #BringBackTheForums
Good points, all of them. Thanks for your input.
And TFM, we shouldn’t be subjected to having honest discussions about race and the sizes of yogurt pistols on a Dan Ruh-jester article about Jahlil Okafor. #BringBackTheForums2015.
10 years ago at 5:44 amMudshark.
10 years ago at 2:05 pmShe has ugly friends.
10 years ago at 2:14 pmGold digger.
10 years ago at 2:24 pmJungle fever. NF
10 years ago at 2:32 pm