Chick-Fil-A Express Ruined Regular Chick-Fil-A For Me

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As I sat in a 20-car drive-thru line with my coworker last week, I had a stunning realization: I don’t like Chick-fil-A anymore.

As a child of the south, Chick-fil-A has always been a staple in my fast-food portfolio. Breakfast minis before the first bell in high school, an 8-count after football practice, two original sandwiches on Saturday before college football kicked off — I was as brand loyal as they come. I’d eat anything Chick-fil-A put on my tray.

After I made it to college, my love for Chick-fil-A started slowly wearing off. I stopped trekking over to the Chick-fil-A drive-thru and started settling for the on-campus Chick-fil-A. That was a huge mistake. Suddenly, soggy chicken and cold fries were the norm. The menu was limited, so I could only get lukewarm nugs or a sandwich. When I’d thank the cashier for placing my order, she’d look me in the eye and say: “You’re welcome.”

On-campus Chick-fil-As, or Chick-fil-A Expresses, aren’t usually run by the restaurant, but by the big catering companies who’ve been contracted to run point on all campus dining. These companies don’t give a shit about the quality of my Chick-fil-A sandwich. They don’t care that they hired a group of unfriendly losers to serve it to me. They don’t care that the quality of the chicken was so diminished that outside of the packaging, it didn’t even look like Chick-fil-A anymore. Coupons? Sorry, those don’t work here. All they wanted was for students to use their campus dollars instead of meal swipes, so they smacked a “Chick-fil-A Express” sign atop this garbage dump of a restaurant and tried to brand it like a normal one.

Regular Chick-fil-As are still good, but they aren’t as incredible as everyone pretends them to be. Chick-fil-A is one of those brands that everyone loves to love, because it’s cool to love them. Whataburger, In-and-Out, Shake Shack, Chipotle, etc., all fall under the same category of “food brands that could serve you literal trash but you’d still say you love them because everyone else does.” That’s not saying CFA is bad, but to hear the stories about all these people who drive “miles and miles” to get a CFA sandwich is just ridiculous. If the line is going to take more than eight minutes, there is usually a better food option close by.

Maybe it’s because the Chick-fil-A Express ruined my love of the brand, but I don’t crave Chick-fil-A anymore. I’ll just never get that bad taste out of my mouth. It makes me sad, because I know deep in my heart I want that feeling of loving Chick-fil-A again. But I’ve been disappointed by the CFA Express too many times now to bother going back. I’ve traveled around the world, so this change in heart could be because my palate has expanded so vastly in three years that I’ve just grown out of my Chick-fil-A phase.

The food at Chick-fil-A is fine. It’s simple food for simple people. Let’s all stop pretending that we would take a bullet for the local CFA restaurant manager if we had to. Chick-fil-A isn’t light years ahead of Zaxby’s, Bojangles, Popeye’s and the rest of the fast-food chicken crew. It is what it is: a fast food restaurant. It’s a good quick option if there isn’t a line.

Chick-fil-A sauce is still dope, though.

Image via YouTube

  1. Jared Borislow

    I’m looking at you sitting in your cubicle right now and hate-fucking you with my eyes.

    10 years ago at 2:35 pm
      1. Henry_Eighth

        Judging from the slumping shoulders and Popeye arms, that is one butt-ugly woman.

        10 years ago at 5:42 pm
      2. ScoochMcGooch

        Look like Dorno’s big, fuzzy forearms in loose sleeves. Coincidentally, he’s barely posted any articles while “Steve” has been shitting them out constantly.

        10 years ago at 9:10 pm
    1. Larry_Sellers

      I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. It was right in front of me the whole time. DeVry, you’re SteveHolt.

      Think about it. DeVry Guy loves a well-executed TFM troll. Hell, in the early days of TFM, he essentially was’t much more than a troll, but he was just funny and good at it unlike 99% of the trolls you see on this website. Plus, SteveHolt’s articles started appearing on a regular basis around the same time DeVry was hired by Grandex. He was also the first member of the Grandex staff to truly embrace the #blackballsteveholt movement (and who doesn’t love a good hashtag more than DeVry).

      If my theory is correct, Jared Borislow has created the greatest troll to ever appear on this website. You clever son of a bitch.

      10 years ago at 7:15 pm
    1. Rugbyfrat1

      Wow dude go fuck yourself. My original post was “If we really want to blackball Steve Holt, stop posting and viewing his shit-tier articles. We all hate him, and the circlejerk in the comments is always the same, but we always keep clicking, and so he’ll always be employed. He gets 10-30 comments per article, and thousands of views. If we stop clicking his buzzfeed-tier articles, he’ll get fired.”

      But then that post got changed to “Great Piece. I don’t like Chick-Fil-A either.”

      10 years ago at 2:48 pm
      1. Rugbyfrat1

        Feel free to call bullshit, i wish I had screencapped the first one so I could prove it. The comments section is the only feedback loop Grandex has for it’s target audience and here you all are abusing the fuck out of that too.

        10 years ago at 2:59 pm
      2. Fratasaurus

        Well telling them that you screen-shotted kinda defeats the purpose because they won’t edit it now

        10 years ago at 8:32 pm
  2. TD70

    I wonder if Steve masturbates to his own comment sections. He must get pleasure from the hate we give him.

    10 years ago at 2:50 pm
  3. Jaber

    I have gone to Popeyes twice, I have gotten food poisoning from Popeyes twice. Have not gotten food poisoning from Chick-Fil-A so I’ll give Chick-Fil-A the edge.

    10 years ago at 2:51 pm
    1. Fratsper

      You have no one to blame but yourself. Both Popeyes and Chic-Fil-A have great food.

      10 years ago at 8:09 pm
  4. cleavage

    What kind off neighborhood do you see chick-fil-a’s in? Now compare that to the neighborhoods you see Churches or Popeyes in. Cased closed. KFC can be a little bit of a wild card in this method.

    10 years ago at 2:58 pm
  5. Theta High

    I completely understand, is like how getting rid of the forums, slowly started to kill my love for this page, even though is still puts some good articles from time to time, is just not the same. Bring back the forums!

    10 years ago at 3:01 pm
  6. CadetFrat

    Do some research Steve. Chick-fil-a doesn’t have a local store manager, they are individually owned and operated. Dumbass.

    10 years ago at 3:05 pm
    1. ProudToBe270

      As someone raised on Chick Fil A and recently started eating Zaxbys I can confirm. However I feel like Zaxbys will cause me to have a heart attack significantly faster.

      10 years ago at 4:34 pm
      1. Tommyhockey

        Zaxbys is alright but bojangles is way better than zaxbys. Chick fila will always be amazing but slightly different in style from zaxbys and bojangles so can’t compare them. Steve you’re also still not real nice try though

        10 years ago at 5:36 pm