College Basketball Player’s Last Name Is “Fuck,” And He’s Finally Being Allowed To Use It
Image via Medicine Hat College
A Canadian college basketball player named Guy Carbagiale Fuck was, until recently, deprived the basic human right of going by his last name. Fuck is No. 14 pictured above.
…for the past two years, Guy Carbagiale Fuck has been asked by his coaches to, literally, drop the f-bomb and go by “Guy Carbagiale” on the roster.
Fuck is a Brazilian born student at Medicine Hat College, whose surname is pronounced “Foo-key.” Mr. Fuck says his name is German in origin, and actually means “fox.” In all honesty, Carbagiale might actually be worse than Fuck. I would opt for Fuck. Carbagiale sounds like some kind of hipster sweater, like a cardigan made from granola extracts and hemp.
“It’s my last name, I’m proud of it. Doesn’t matter if it means something bad,” Fuck said.
Reporters asked Fuck if he has considered changing his last name, and he basically replied, “Fuck no, you can fuck off and kiss my fucking ass.” Well, not really, but he fucking should’ve.
“No, no, no, I want to have kids, I want to spread the Fuck last name,” Fuck said.
The real issue here, in my opinion, is that there’s a college in Canada named Medicine Hat. Clearly, these fucking Canadians don’t respect the establishment of higher learning. Medicine Hat? Some Canadian was probably stoned off his ass and decided to brainstorm names for a college with his buddies.
“Yeah, I mean, yeah, founding a college sounds tight as fuck. But what do we call it, man?”
“Uh, Zebra, uh — Zebra Pelt?”
“Nah, man.” *rips joint* “What about, like, Hat. Like…Medicine Hat.”
“Bro. Yes.”
Anyway, since Fuck and his team made it to the Canadian Canadian Collegiate Athletic Association men’s basketball championships (LOLOLOLOL) in March, he’s finally being allowed to go by his real last name in the paper. Before that, the city’s local newspaper was asked to just use his first and middle name in stories about the team, which is just fucked up..
[via CBC News]
“The real issue here, in my opinion, is that there’s a college in Canada named Medicine Hat.” My first thought. “Zebra pelt” got me too. Well done.
11 years ago at 4:35 pmThe college is named after the city Medicine Hat, so that’s what we should be questioning.
11 years ago at 4:48 pmJune 5th. Shark Week. Just marked my calendar.
11 years ago at 8:26 pmJuly*. Fuck
11 years ago at 8:27 pmWhat the fuck
11 years ago at 4:35 pm“Guy Fuck”, not the name you would necessarily want for your composite
11 years ago at 4:37 pmwhat the Fuck are you talking about, that’s exactly the name you would want for your composite
11 years ago at 4:44 pmThis Fuck’n Guy^
11 years ago at 8:45 pmI guess we know that Brazil officially gives at least one Fuck.
11 years ago at 10:07 pmSo he is, in fact, a Fuck boy
11 years ago at 4:39 pmMore like a fuck guy
11 years ago at 7:10 pmHey he’s a Fuck Man!
11 years ago at 9:45 pmHe’s not your Fuck guy, buddy.
11 years ago at 10:05 pmHe’s not your fuck buddy, friend
11 years ago at 11:31 pmHe’s not your fuck friend, pal
11 years ago at 12:45 amThis Guy is a Fuck.
11 years ago at 4:39 pmMedicine Hat is the name of the city
11 years ago at 4:40 pmIt’s kind of a low-rent Moose Factory, ON.
11 years ago at 4:58 pmGo mocs
11 years ago at 6:44 pmFor Fuck’s sake
11 years ago at 4:43 pmSingle-handedly giving a whole new meaning to the phrase “Fuck Me”.
11 years ago at 4:45 pm“Fuck with the beautiful three to win the game!” Basketball commentator or someone inviting you to have a foursome? Suddenly it’s not so clear
11 years ago at 4:50 pmHad to read this a couple of times before I got past the “beautiful 3” part. To be fair though if you drink enough whiskey in a short enough amount of time a 3 can be a hard 8. I find that interpretation equally as entertaining.
11 years ago at 5:22 pmI don’t know why this got you lapped. Very sound logic.
11 years ago at 8:46 pmJust let him use his last name…for Fuck’s sake.
11 years ago at 4:56 pm