These Stories Of How People Got Expelled From College Will Make You Feel Better About Your Sad, Pathetic Life

El Taco8 years ago

We’ve all done some bad things in this never-ending depressing rollercoaster called life. But bad enough to get booted from college? You’ve usually got to screw up real hard for that to happen. A recent trending topic on Reddit took a look at what got some people expelled from college. Some are pretty run-of-the-mill reasons: drank too much, did too many drugs, didn’t go to class, yada yada yada. But some of these are either just down right impressive or dark as shit.

Heard this story of this dude who got kicked out for leaving on break to train with Al Quaeda

Whoooooooookay. We’re starting this one off hot, eh? Students generally can’t train with terrorist organizations and return to school, per most college handbooks.

WAS expelled the first time I went to college, back in the 90s.
I remember on orientation day, we walked by the fraternities and my dad got all excited. Walked up to the Phi Kappa Taus – they were pretty cool. Acted all interested in me.
I didn’t look around anywhere else, hell, I was 17 and very intimidated. I rushed them – and turns out, they were massive party animals.
I lived and worked 40 mins away from school, and had a girlfriend back home (so far, right?). I scheduled all my classes at 7-11am. It was hard to get up at 5 and drive in to school and pay attention in a 1000 seat lecture hall.
So I started to stay at the frat house and blow off my classes.
The first semester I got a 0.0. The next, I got a .33 (one D!) I wasn’t the only one expelled from school that year…me and 4 other guys were competing for the lowest GPA.
What a fucking waste. Stupid college is wasted on the young.
I went back in my 30s and got my degrees, but I wasted a tremendous amount of time working shitty jobs for shitty people.

Those goddamn Phi Kaps. Fucking animals.

An old boss of mine had this tale about getting kicked out of BYU.
“There was me and another guy and two girls and a case of beer and…. I don’t remember any clothes.”
“But that’s not what got me kicked out. What got me kicked out was me being a smart ass at the disciplinary hearing. They asked me what I was going to do to atone for my sins. I said, ‘I’m not Mormon. I didn’t do anything wrong according to my religion. I’m not atoning for anything.'”
“THAT is what got me kicked out.”

I mean, if you’re getting kicked out of BYU then aren’t they kind of doing you a favor? No ragrets.

I peed onto a rival fraternity’s back porch. The lights were off at their house, so i didnt know they were all inside having movie night. They all saw.

I should’ve been expelled about 20 times over by now then.

A guy on my floor in the dorms got expelled within the first night of move in day.
Since it was the first night away from parents and we were all new to college, there were a shit ton of pop-up parties around the university.
Apparently this kid did weed, shrooms, and acid all in one night. Then came back near his dorm building and started heavily drinking. His roommate found him and brought him back to the dorm room. The kid proceeded to go on a very bad trip before vomiting everywhere and passing out. He apparently OD hard.
911 was obviously called and the police showed up and saw the sheer number of drugs (I think it was weed and shrooms) this kid had hidden in his dorm along with beer, and even a pocket knife (that’s illegal on campus).
He was taken to detox and was heavily charged since he was a minor and all. He was expelled before he even left detox apparently. His parents came and picked up his stuff, I don’t know if he was banned from campus too or if he was just embarrassed.
He became legend on our floor.
Edit: all knives are illegally when living in the dorms. I think you can have a butter knife but that’s it. So the pocket knife was a no-no.
Also I’m not entirely sure what he OD on since I was never there and only heard this through his roommate. His roommate thought he OD on the combination of it all, though yeah it may have just been the heavy drinking.

I’ve heard of going hard in the paint, but mixing weed, shrooms, and acid on the first day seems a tad aggressive. Pump the brakes next time, slugger.

I shot a firework out of my ass in a campus owned house.

Who hasn’t?

I got expelled in 2004 for inciting a riot.

Who hasn’t?

NOT ME but happened to a teammate on my rowing team. He got busted for drinking which isn’t an expellable offense. But to get back at the RA that caught him, he shit into a bag, went to the guy’s first floor window, and threw it into the RA’s room. What made things worse is that the RA had a box fan in the window. The shit hit it and sprayed everywhere in the room.
Literally, the shit hit the fan. He was promptly expelled.

Revenge is a dish best served with feces.

Currently am aware of a group of international students getting expelled from my school. They’ve been whispering to each other during exams in another language, and as luck would have it my professor happens to speak that language and has been slowly building a case against them without their knowing it.
The kids somehow also got the solutions to every homework and exam last semester which is very similar to what we’ve been assigned this semester. However the kids are so fucking lazy they blindly copy whole solutions not realizing numbers are different, sometimes units are metric and they answer in English, and one problem asked for something completely different than they solved for using the exact procedure to solve last semesters homework. They’re absolutely fucked and I’m kinda excited to see it. One of them had a 3.75 gpa was on the verge of being auto admitted to our MS/BS program. Hes probably been cheating his whole college career (were 2 semesters away from graduation). Plot twist: the advisor to that program is the instructor that is currently building the case against them. So basically that guy is mega fucked.
Professor is a savage. He’s been grading all their homework and exams like everything was fine and one day unleashed a dossier of bitch justice to COAM.

This one really makes you feel good on the inside. The professor could’ve dropped the hammer on them way early in this one. Instead, he’s letting them dig their own grave lower and lower. Round of applause.

Called the professor who was Several years younger than me a little shithead while in class, for cracking a joke about why I was coming back to college after so long (I was in the military serving in Afghanistan).

But I won the appeal…. Shithead

I see no issue here.

Not me, but a guy who lived on the floor below me my freshman year.
Dude was already a nuisance, he got drunk and wandered into town one night, broke a window on a private residence because he thought it was our dorm. Got arrested for breaking said window. When the school found out they told him that if you got into any trouble either with the police or the school’s internal justice system (which is actually decent, it’s student run) then he would be thrown out. Same goes for getting “transported” to the local hospital due to excessive drunkenness.
Cut to halloween night when his roommate found him passed out covered in vomit on the floor of his dorm room. He tested positive for alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine. I’m pretty sure he was kicked out before he got out of the hospital.

I mean, who hasn’t?

Hope you feel better about yourselves, ya sacks of shit. Just remember: Life only gets worse. Have a nice day..

[via Reddit]