College Football Preseason Top 10 Predictions

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Let’s be honest–if you aren’t excited for the college football season, your parents either pay (or paid) way too much or way too little for your college education. Bestowed upon us is an extra 16 weeks of Christmas, gift-wrapped within tailgates, gambling addictions, and untraceable rivalries.

Year after year, I become more pumped for the college football season. Maybe it’s because each new year brings an opportunity for my team (MIZ) to win a national championship. Maybe it’s because every new season provides a legitimate reason for me to go back home and relive the game day festivities like I’m a 20-year-old kid with absolutely no fucks to give. Mostly, I attribute it to the fact that ESPN absolutely blows when you have to watch pure baseball highlights for two straight months. No knock on baseball, but it’s true.

We broke down the AP Top 10 to discuss the possible outcomes of the teams’ seasons, so let’s get into it.

1. Florida State

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Best Case Scenario: 14-0 (National Champions)

Worst Case Scenario: 10-2 (Jameis Winston pulls a Jameis Winston and finds himself in trouble–again. The talented team drops one regular season game to an awful ACC opponent and loses its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: I don’t think this comes to many as a surprise. Florida State will highlight the ACC this year, and probably the next couple years to come. FSU has loaded up on top recruits and Florida athletes for the past few seasons, and it looks like the team will just plug these guys into the missing gaps from last season. Plus, the ACC is just terrible. Who knew Duke had a football team before last season?

Games To Watch: Oklahoma State (neutral site) on Aug. 30, Clemson at home on Sept. 20, Notre Dame at home on Oct. 18 (solely for the fact that I like watching ND get the shit kicked out of it), and at Miami on Nov. 15.

*** This one is interesting, because when we sat down to discuss the outcome of Florida State’s season, one of the guys who makes up the Sports Guys sent this text:

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We added it to the article.

I’m not betting that he’s right about this, but he holds his conviction to this comment. For the sake of college football and this kid’s chances of going to the next level, let’s hope he’s wrong.

2. Alabama

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Best Case Scenario: 14-0 (National Champions)

Worst Case Scenario: 12-2 (Inevitable loss to an inferior team and a loss in the Iron Bowl. Nick Saban addresses his players and explains that if they lose their bowl game, he will personally hand deliver each and every one of their souls to the depths of hell; Bama wins its bowl game by five and a half touchdowns and covers the spread by 30.)

Season Prediction: I believe Alabama will win the national championship this year, and I’m not just pulling for the SEC here. I honestly don’t believe there is a better coached team with enough talent to outlast Alabama with the new playoff format. Alabama is in the midst of its first quarterback battle since 2009, and Coach Saban is confident with either Blake Sims or Jake Coker, which basically means neither one can fuck up enough to derail the Alabama gravy train.

Games To Watch: At LSU on Nov. 18, Auburn at home on Nov. 29.

3. Oregon

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Best Case Scenario: 12-1 (Loss in the first round of the playoffs.)

Worst Case Scenario: 10-3 (Losses to Michigan State, UCLA, and Stanford, with a win in its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: With Mariota coming back, Oregon will have no problem throwing points onto the scoreboard. However, its schedule is deceivingly tough, with a game at UCLA and a home game against Stanford. Oregon is also hosting Michigan State for the second game of the regular season, which should provide a great, early test against a well coached defense.

Games To Watch: Michigan State at home on Sept. 6, at UCLA on Oct. 11, and Stanford at home on Nov. 1.

4. Oklahoma

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Best Case Scenario: 12-2 (Loss to either Baylor, Kansas State, or Oklahoma State, and a loss in the first round of the playoffs.)

Worst Case Scenario: 11-2 (Loss to Baylor and Kansas State or Oklahoma State, and a win in its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: First and foremost, I wouldn’t mind watching Oklahoma lose every single game this year. To be honest with you, I’ve got no problem with any of the OU players, or even the fans. My problem is with Bob Stoops. Stoops wants to be Nick Saban so bad it’s starting to become pathetic. Put the Sports Guys on record by stating that we believe Bob Stoops is the poor man’s Nick Saban. We also believe that we have just paid Bob Stoops the greatest personal compliment he has ever received. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, Bob, and your team’s bowl victory against Alabama in 2013 was equivalent to one of Michael Jordan’s many forgettable missed buzzer beaters. Shit happens, but it doesn’t make you the king of the castle. Stoops will go to any sketch length to win another national championship to justify all of the crap that he professes about the Big 12 and the SEC being on an equal competitive level…I mean, Oklahoma picked up freak-athlete Dorial Green-Beckham after he was dismissed from Missouri.

As far as competition, we don’t believe Texas is good enough yet to beat Oklahoma this year, but I can see the team losing to either K-State or Oklahoma State with a guaranteed loss to Baylor.

Games To Watch: Red River Shootout versus Texas on Oct. 11, Kansas State at home on Oct. 18, Baylor at home on Nov. 8, and Oklahoma State at home on Dec. 6.

5. Ohio State

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Best Case Scenario: 13-1 (Loss in the first round of the playoffs.)

Worst Case Scenario: 9-3 (Losses to Virginia Tech, Michigan State, and Michigan.)

Season Prediction: Can anyone please explain to me how a Big Ten fan can even consider mentioning his conference in the same breath as the Big 12, Pac-12, or SEC? The Big Ten is the most overrated conference in our opinion–however, Ohio State is more or less the real deal. Urban Meyer is just a winner, and we doubt any team in the Big Ten is going to change that for a long time. I’m sure Braxton Miller has gotten better from last season and Deonte Wilson will fill in nicely for the departed Carlos Hyde. Meyer’s recruiting classes from the past few years will keep the team in the playoff conversation for years to come.

Games To Watch: Virginia Tech at home on Sept. 6, at Michigan State on Nov. 8, and Michigan at home on Nov. 29.

6. Auburn

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Best Case Scenario: 12-1 (Loss to Alabama at the end of the season; misses the playoffs, but wins its bowl game.)

Worst Case Scenario: 10-3 (Losses to Alabama, South Carolina, and Georgia, but still wins its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: Auburn needed to pull the horseshoe, lucky rabbit foot, and 4-leaf clover out of its ass to beat both Georgia and Alabama in order to make it to the national championship last year. The team’s running game was incredibly lethal, and Tre Mason accounted for more than 1,600 rushing yards and 22 touchdowns. Will Auburn be able to replace his production and find ways to get Sammie Coates significant touches? This seems pretty unlikely. Alabama will beat them out for the SEC West title spot.

Games To Watch: LSU at home on Oct. 4, South Carolina at home on Oct. 25, at Georgia on Nov 15, and at Alabama on Nov. 29.

7. UCLA

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Best Case Scenario: 11-2 (Two losses to either Arizona State, Oregon, USC, or Stanford.)

Worst Case Scenario: 8-5 (Losses to Arizona State, Oregon, USC, and Stanford, along with a loss in its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: UCLA’s tough schedule, along with the loss of playmaking abilities from Anthony Barr, Xavier Su’a-Filo, and Shaq Evans only provides an uphill battle for the upcoming season. On top of that, Brett Hundley is just not as impressive as many scouts would have you believe, and he will probably disappoint the Bruin faithful.

Games To Watch: At Texas on Sept. 13, at Arizona State on Sept. 25, Oregon at home on Oct. 11, USC at home on Nov. 22, and Stanford at home on Nov 28.

8. Michigan State

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Best Case Scenario: 13-1 (Loss to either Oregon or Ohio State, win conference and bowl game.)

Worst Case Scenario: 11-3 (Losses to Oregon and Ohio State, loss in its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: Michigan State has a great defensive reputation that it will carry into the 2014 season. Offensively, the team will be unable to keep up with the likes of Oregon and Ohio State. With Michigan State and Ohio State both aligned to the East Division, Michigan State seems shit out of luck to repeat its conference championship.

Games To Watch: At Oregon on Sept. 6, Michigan at home on Oct. 25, and Ohio State at home on Nov. 8.

9. South Carolina

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Best Case Scenario: 12-2 (Two losses to either Georgia, Missouri, or Clemson, but it will make it to the conference championship and lose to either Alabama or Auburn. Then the team will win its bowl game.)

Worst Case Scenario: 8-5 (Losses to Georgia, Missouri, Auburn, Florida, and Clemson; will win its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: The SEC East is slated to be a three-dog race between South Carolina, Georgia, and Missouri, and the team will have its hands full getting to the SEC championship this year. Luckily for the Cocks, the team plays both Georgia and Missouri in Columbia, S.C. We can’t see South Carolina keeping its home win streak intact because of these two games. Please call us homers, but as true sons of Mizzou, we are sure Missouri will beat South Carolina on Sept. 27, barring any major injuries to the Mizzou roster.

Games To Watch: Georgia at home on Sept. 13, Missouri at home on Sept. 27, at Auburn on Oct. 25, and at Clemson on Nov. 29.

10. Baylor

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Best Case Scenario: 13-1 (Wins the Big 12 outright, loses first round of playoffs.)

Worst Case Scenario: 11-2 (Loses to Oklahoma and K-State, wins bowl game.)

Season Prediction: Baylor is our favorite to take the Big 12 this year. I honestly think Baylor’s wide receivers and quarterback score as much on the field as they do with shameless groupies off the field. If the past few seasons were any indication of what Baylor has in store for 2014, no other team in the Big 12 can keep up with these guys’ ability to put points up on the board. Bryce Petty only threw for 204 yards against Oklahoma last year, but the Bears were still able to win 41-12.

Games To Watch: At Texas on Oct. 4, at Oklahoma on Nov. 8, and Kansas State at home on Dec. 6.

Are we sure that our Top 10 predictions will be correct? Well, yeah, about as sure as you are walking into a classroom for the first time at the end of a semester with nothing in your pocket but an Adderall and a cheat sheet. Take it for what it’s worth.

The season is less than two weeks away. Make sure to follow us, @TokenSportsGuys, for our weekly picks throughout the season.

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  1. Simple_C

    How can the best case scenario for Oklahoma be 12-2 and their worst case be 11-2? Is their worst case that one of their games gets canceled?

    10 years ago at 12:19 pm
    1. That PhiPhi guy

      I will help you out cause you really need it right now, if they lose first round of playoffs that means there will not be a 14th game.

      10 years ago at 2:00 pm
  2. 21st Century Goose

    So what do you guys think Rapist Winston is gonna do to get suspended this year?

    10 years ago at 12:28 pm
    1. PhallicJohnson

      Well, he has a history of stealing things, shell fish and of course sex. So, If I had to guess what he’ll be suspended for this year, I think it’s obvious…Marijuana.

      10 years ago at 12:41 pm
  3. BrothersOverOthers

    I think best case scenario for the Buckeyes is a national title. They finally brought in a defensive coordinator that is actually worth a shit and put Luke Fickle in the back seat. The defensive line is an absolute monster with Bosa leading the way. Urban’s recruits are finally seeing the field and I’ll put my faith in his judgement. They’ll beat the “All-mighty, God’s gift to man” Alabama in the first round of playoffs and win in a shootout against the noles for the title.

    10 years ago at 12:34 pm
  4. Speaker John Boehner

    I don’t think you understand what “best case scenario” and “worst case scenario” mean…

    10 years ago at 12:37 pm
  5. Suburban Meyer

    “Can anyone please explain to me how a Big Ten fan can even consider mentioning his conference in the same breath as the Big 12, Pac-12, or SEC? The Big Ten is the most overrated conference in our opinion”

    Hold up there, buddy. As an OSU alum/fan, I’ll be the first to tell you that the B10 is not on the same level as the SEC (duh), or even the P12 or B12 maybe. Yes we’re one of the weaker power conferences. But overrated? For something to be overrated, it has to be rated and regarded highly in the first place. Nobody in the news or media really touts the B10 and the only people who are usually arguing for it are fans on message boards, or any other B10 fans you might know. I realize I just typed basically a paragraph shitting on my own conference, but don’t act like people (besides fans) are saying we’re good as a whole as the SEC, it just sounds like you are thinking of another reason just to shit on Ohio State. As for Ohio State again, I’m feeling very optimistic about this season not just because of Braxton, but also because of two other names: Bosa and Spence.

    10 years ago at 12:45 pm
      1. Doesnt Quite Get It

        He’s really going places this season. Like, to the sideline, pacing back and forth between the Gatorade bucket.

        Green.

        10 years ago at 9:42 pm
  6. PeteWheeler

    LSU beat Auburn last year and they don’t even make the worst case scenario for Auburn this year?

    10 years ago at 12:55 pm
  7. Crawfish

    I don’t know where you’re coming up with these game totals. You realize anyone who makes it to the championship that is from a conference with a championship is gonna play 15 games right? FSU is probably gonna play more than 12 games even if they dont make their conference title.

    10 years ago at 12:56 pm
    1. BrotherCalledSmelly

      I think TSG predicted regular season totals + conference championships with the numbers and then verbally predicted their postseason outcome.

      10 years ago at 1:40 pm
  8. taylorcoug

    My prediction…at least 2 big name players will be in sexual assult/rape charges by week 5

    10 years ago at 1:13 pm
  9. FrobertELee

    He literally took the good teams from last year and said they would do the exact same thing again. Not likely.

    10 years ago at 1:31 pm