Hey College Kids: Maybe Stop Committing Credit Card Fraud

ItalianStallion7 years ago

A few weeks ago, I wrote a column about how moonshine isn’t a college drink. Learning some people drank moonshine at college parties was a game-changing newsflash for me, but it still wasn’t the weirdest, most out-of-the-ordinary thing I heard of happening on college campuses. That story is one of blatant illegality.

Crime doesn’t pay, but it does oftentimes lead to some hilarious stories. Tales of being on the wrong side of lady law don’t always yield the glitz and glamour of a Law & Order episode; sometimes all you get is a mildly amusing anecdote. We’ve all heard our friends tell some of these stories during college. Especially as freshmen, because freshman year seems to be when the rebel without a cause in all of us comes out. The things that oh-so-innocent you would never think of doing in high school in-between your math homework and writing your supposed valedictorian speech become normal Friday night plans once you enter the halls of hallowed learning.

There are your garden variety college crimes. Underage drinking? Sure, it’s illegal, but rarely lands an arrest. The bar will most likely just confiscate your fake and call it a night. Selling Addy to your friends? Just calm down and realize you aren’t running around like the campus’ resident Walter White. Then there’s a personal favorite of mine: streaking. Only in America can you go to a college football game and a naked man running across the field doesn’t seem out of place. That is sort of surprising, because if I expected anyone to seamlessly combine athletics and nudity, it’d be the French. While those are all notable acts, the out-of-the-ordinary crime I mentioned earlier is credit card fraud.

Now I know what you’re all thinking: why the hell am I talking about credit card fraud here? Because it’s more common than you might think. A ton of University of Florida football players had their seasons cut short after they got involved in a credit card fraud scheme. Also, true story: one of the people who lived on my dorm floor freshman year (you know, one of those people you consider “friends” when you don’t really now anyone else) got arrested for credit card fraud halfway through first semester. I though he was just the chill kid who played Shakira music while studying four doors down, but instead he was running around running up the bill on some old lady’s Mastercard. So that’s how he was able to afford that massage chair and flatscreen television…

While most people’s brushes with lady law in college are mild, run-of-the-mill things they could get in trouble for but don’t, some college students are taking it a step further; holding themselves to higher, classier standards by committing full-fledged white collar crime. Probably not the best route to take when your whole life’s ahead of you.

I don’t know if the dude from my floor actually went to prison, went and got out, or if he’s still incarcerated. Regardless, his legend lives on. I sometimes wonder what happened to him, or what made him do it. Until I figure it out, all I can say is hide yo debit cards, hide yo credit cards, hide yo wallets, because broke college kids are coming for everybody..