Comedians Hate “Dudes” and “Bros”
Most people who read this site don’t know about the Montreal Comedy Festival. You know why? Because you have better things to do, like check out rush boobs, talk about rush boobs, comment on rush boobs, and decide which set of rush boobs best complements the aloe tissue paper you’ve chosen. There’s only so much time in a day. So let me explain: The Montreal Comedy Festival is the stand-up’s equivalent to an industry convention. Comics from all over the country are invited to perform. Studio people, managers, agents, and bookers are invited to judge and find the next personalities to push. It’s a big deal for young comics (Full disclosure: I auditioned for “New Faces” and wasn’t invited) and a huge party for older ones. Per tradition, there is a small part of this weekend every year dedicated to comedian Andy Kindler roasting the industry. Maybe you’ve heard of him, maybe you haven’t, but the big talk coming out of Montreal right now (“big talk” being a relative statement) is that Andy Kindler took a shit all over Adam Carolla; calling him a “Nazi” and a “bigot.” He wasn’t telling jokes, he was starting a rally. And the crowd cheered. I know you have some aloe-with-a-hint-of-lavender tissue paper to get back to, so let me explain why this matters.
Andy Kindler is a voice from the people who rule comedy. These are people who wanted to achieve success by following the longest route towards it; they tend to be contrarians and over-thinkers. These are not the popular jocks from high school; these are the geeks and outcasts. These are the Tri Lambs. And that’s all fine, at least until they start sharpening their pitchforks and lighting their torches.
Adam Carolla is very much a representative of this [Total Frat Move], and other “Dude Sites.” He talks mostly about breasts and porn, his politics are leaning right, and speaks openly in racial stereotype shorthand (i.e. Asians can’t drive and most of the Mexicans in L.A. are illegal). These are, of course, jokes. But they’re also kind of not. Basically, he talks how everyone talks behind closed doors. So to hear that Carolla got lambasted at the biggest comedy festival of the year to a room full of comedy industry applause should be a little disturbing for the TFM fan looking for more TFM-like content out in the world.
I touched on this a little while back with my article about misogyny, but this internet niche culture we live in has created a vigilantism that determines what’s okay to say and what’s not. With people throwing around photos of themselves on vacation as well as their political and religious opinions, it only makes sense they’d level moral judgements with the same casual air. Everyone lives in their own niche, but the world’s angry nerds are no longer relegated to the high school A.V. room to play D&D – they’ve found each other at the forefront of the comedy industry, among other places. And though the TFM comment board is its own niche (an awesome one that freely uses the word “cunt”), we don’t decide that Portlandia will be on TV for the rest of our lives and that every female character will be “a-dork-able,” the A.V. club does.
Adam Carolla, like many of us here, probably never swirlied a kid, or took anyone’s lunch money, or stuffed anyone in a locker (all hilarious, by the way). But he is majorly successful for speaking from a perspective that loves boobs, pranks, pledges, and calling a guy gay for going to brunch with his girlfriend instead of watching college football. OUR PERSPECTIVE. The problem? Andy Kindler doesn’t agree. So Kindler can stand in a room full of people who think exactly like he does and bully “up.” He can claim that someone is a bigot and “Hitler” from his perch of being “open minded,” but it’s really close-minded to not see 400k people laughing at the food stamps joke. And, yes, he represents the minority, but get enough people to shout in the same direction, and the loud minority sounds an awful lot like the majority.
Carolla responded by basically saying that he doesn’t need the industry and he has a “pirate ship” with his legion of podcast listeners and fans that come out to his shows. I agree, and as a fan of his, I’m right there on his ship. But as a consumer? I’m scared (in a hot way). Carolla has one of the most downloaded podcasts in the world, and his right-of-center male listeners are being cast away on a pirate ship. The TFM community (and ones like it) are a large and undervalued clientele, and this speech, as well as the reaction to it, only served to show how little we’re cared about.
So what’s the future of entertainment? I agree that a “Dude” can and should be the punchline. I disagree that a “Dude’s” preferences for USA chants, boobs, farts, Macgyver-like masturbation, and smart commentary on suburban elitist topics should be demeaned. Does every show and movie need to feature a fat, bearded guy wearing skinny jeans and a fully buttoned polo shirt complaining about middle school to a flat chested Zooey Deschanel-type before heading to his all saxophone band where he and his best buds crack jokes about ALF? The future is coming. Say goodbye to the “Dude” and all the things you find funny. Somebody find me some aloe-lavender tissues and some rush boobs. I’m upset.
Fuck Canada.
12 years ago at 3:32 pmThis ^
12 years ago at 3:41 pmIsn’t JParks a staunch Canadian nationalist?
12 years ago at 3:54 pmhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BoO3_5tU8A
12 years ago at 4:36 pm…
12 years ago at 11:53 pmhttp://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/kenny-powers-american-flag-fuck-you.gif
12 years ago at 12:16 amJust like Macgyver, I can masturbate with nothing but a rubber band, a paper clip, and a stick of gum.
12 years ago at 3:34 pmI can never figure out what to do with the paper clip
12 years ago at 3:45 pmStick it in your urethra, Johnny boy.
12 years ago at 4:21 pmEasy. You chew the gum. You bend the paper clip into a circle. You mold the gum around it. Put your dick through the hoop. Finally, you apply the rubber band to keep up constriction. All you need to do now is cum. TFM.
12 years ago at 1:54 amFried KILLING IT yet again. This guy needs to write more than Bacon or Dorn, in fact how bout we have J Parks go the way of dick perry and have J Train fill his regular spot?
12 years ago at 3:35 pmYour love for your fraternity brother is adorable. I think I should have my chapter tell this fall’s pledge class to leave a bunch of comments sucking me off on every column I write.
12 years ago at 3:54 pm^Make sure they’re identified as (Shithead) instead of (Rushee).
12 years ago at 4:02 pm^^I haven’t seen a good article from you since the first frat romance novel. Put up or shut up you dick sucking nerd
12 years ago at 4:42 pmBacon I don’t have to take that shit from some Mick fuck
12 years ago at 9:36 pmSounds like J-Train is filling your regular spot, if you know what I mean.
12 years ago at 4:24 pmCanada does a wonderful job of exporting large amounts of bullshit.
12 years ago at 3:36 pmSummary for all the TL;DR’ers:
Adam Carolla is a swell guy because he is a right-leaning bro, and we can all relate to his, “I don’t take shit from idiots” attitude.
12 years ago at 3:39 pmThe weird thing about comedy is that it poses as being contrarian and controversial, but really always conforms to the same (liberal) standards. You can act all risque and dangerous as a comedian, but it’s all bullshit. You can make the most hilarious, offensive comments about George Bush, for example, but may God have mercy on you if you make fun of gay marriage.
TFM is refreshing because it is one of the only conservative outlets of humor that appeals to young conservatives like ourselves. But notice how TFM comes under so much more scrutiny than other equivalent sites because of this very reason.
12 years ago at 3:41 pmThis was one of the most intelligent posts this site has ever seen. You are 100% spot on, especially about comedy conforming to society’s standards
12 years ago at 5:51 pmTotes gots it wrong bro. Time to cram for the exam:
Making fun of George Bush is about taking shots at the power. Taking a piss on the powerful is humor defined.
Making fun of gay marriage, or more precisely making fun of an already maligned and persecuted group’s attempt to gain rights that more socially accepted groups already have…that’s making fun of the weak and their fight to be respected. You know, a real scrote move.
It takes a real weak bro who can only make fun of the powerless, but a bro with balls will speak truth to power in an intelligent and funny way.
Stay Swoll
12 years ago at 6:16 pm^Maligned and persecuted group? That’s rich.
12 years ago at 7:17 pmVery true. There’s a dogma in this world, and that’s really fucked up. Dogmas should be for religion and that’s it but our society and culture has made their own dogma, things that can’t be questioned. I was a chemistry and english major and realized that in chemistry – where we KNOW things, we allowed for more questions than we do for the humanities – where we don’t know things.
Someone can ask “well how do we know gravity exists” and the science community will take his question seriously, and explain it to the person, even though it’s a longheld belief with a lot of backup behind it.
Say that men work harder than women? Say that a man and a woman are better parents than two women or two men? Say welfare is counter-productive for the people on it? Instant hate. Instant bigotry. Without any discussion, without prior knowledge, that will happen. Dogma. Doesn’t happen in math, science, etc. But it happens in the humanities, the one place it SHOULDN’T happen. It’s incredibly incredibly dangerous and society needs to stop being fucking pussies and following the flow of things, and actually discuss things rather than always jump on the “omg you’re a republican bigot” train.
12 years ago at 8:40 pmDangle, you sound like someone everyone here will hate very soon.
12 years ago at 10:00 pmDangle gets his name from his dad who once told everyone in a drunken stupor that his mom has dangling beef curtains and he almost died during birth because when he inhaled some of that nasty beef ended up in his mouth and ended up in his lung. Apparently a nurse fainted and dangles dad (who was bombed off old style) started CPR on the nurse despite the lack of need. When the doctor instructed him to stop he replied “look at those maple syrup cannons (dangles parents are Canadian and Canadian women produce maple syrup instead of breast milk) how could you not want to touch them. Meanwhile while the doctor was attempting to stop dangles dad from taking his pants off dangles dad ordered an “emergency titty fuck STAT”) Dangle turned blue as they still hadn’t gotten his moms nasty labia out of his lung. In short, as his dad says, this 30 second lack of O2 may have caused him to post retarded comments.
12 years ago at 12:25 amDoes a true Bro believe what others tell him to believe, or does he make up his own mind from what he sees with his own eyes? A non-fuck-up chooses the second path.
If teh gehys are so in control of everything…
* How many openly gay Senators of Representatives are there? Almost none.
* How many openly gay Presidents have there been? Zero Point Zero.
* If Peter Puffers were really in power, wouldn’t there be a lot more dick suckin’ in Skull and Bones?
* How many times have you been beat up on by a homosecks? Hope it’s null bro, for your sake.
Dangle is just a name I picked up from when I doom-fucked 0bid0offeronfucks’ mom so hard my dick stuck out her mouth. Then I realized it was 0bid0offeronfucks’ mom and it went limp. BTW bro shit was TIGHT, can’t believe your fat ass came out that sweet lil’ sliz. Say hi to your mother for me, OK?
12 years ago at 11:23 amThat’s the best you could come up with? A generic “I boned your mom story” for someone advocating thinking for himself you sure don’t practice what you preach. Perhaps Reddit.com. is more of your speed.
12 years ago at 12:25 pmSorry 0bid0offeronfucks. I went with mom ’cause I didn’t know if you had a sister with whom you’d bonded with because of your shared molestation experience at the hands of your Pop Pop, who’s frustrated libido drove him to say and do horrible things to you both. He’s in a home now, Alzheimers the family says, but really he just couldn’t live daily seeing the grandkids whose buttholes, if only they could speak, would recall horrors unfathomable to most. The only way he could keep living was to imprison himself behind those four white cinder block walls.
So yeah I fucked your sister who you helped your Grandfather molest. She still yelled out “0bid0offeronfucks” though. Blood is thicker than water, I guess.
12 years ago at 6:13 pmI think it’s dangle because he has ED. Yea that’s probably it. As the great Bone Daddy would have said: being unafraid to express your ED. TFM.
12 years ago at 10:15 am^TotalBobDoleMove. ^^”a maligned and persecuted group.” That is indeed rich. You should ask the Jewish and African-American community about what that really means, chief.
12 years ago at 11:02 amBarack Obama is power defined right now, but somehow I don’t see any comedians taking shots at him. Funny how that works.
12 years ago at 4:22 pmPresident Obama is power defined right now, but somehow I don’t see any comedians taking shots at him. Funny how that works.
12 years ago at 4:23 pmKindler also once ripped into South Park for not being funny at all. Meanwhile I’ve never heard of Andy Kindler, or anything good about his work, just that he apparently likes to troll.
Gonna go ahead and say he sucks and is a pathetically bitter person.
http://www.maximumfun.org/blog/2006/03/andy-kindler-rips-into-south-park.html
12 years ago at 3:42 pmI have never heard of him until this post, but have seen him on TV now that I can put a name to the face. So to no surprise that a GDI such as Andy Kindler would bash a more successful Adam Carolla.
12 years ago at 3:56 pmThe only thing funny about Canada is the way the people sound.
12 years ago at 3:42 pmThis topic is why I prefer South Park over Family Guy. In Family Guy, Seth Macfarlane makes sure you know he’s a liberal, and damn near rubs your face in it. Trey Parker and Matt Stone on the other hand have no qualms about satirizing anyone and anything, they’re TFTC.
12 years ago at 3:45 pmTo be fair, Parker and Stone are libertarians and it definitely bleeds into their comedy to the point where sometimes they rub it in.
12 years ago at 3:52 pmI couldn’t agree with you more, jtrain. The industry is trying to pussify America. I ain’t having it.
12 years ago at 3:48 pm