Cornell Cancels Lacrosse Season Due To Depraved Hazing

Cornell, a university that is sort of at Ivy League level and is best known for people jumping off of rocks to their doom at an alarming rate, recently announced that they cancelled the rest of the men’s lacrosse team’s fall season due to team hazing. Cornell is less of a joke when it comes to lacrosse, going 14-4 last spring and only losing to eventual champions Duke in the semi-finals of the NCAA tournament, so one would think that the allegations against the team would be unspeakable.

According to a report posted on Cornell’s hazing website, freshmen were expected to perform menial tasks and other duties for upperclassmen. The report says the team held a party featuring a “key race,” during which freshmen were challenged to drink large amounts of beer in a competition against other team members. College officials say the freshmen were made to stand in a circle and drink beer to the point where “multiple members vomited.”

Wow.

These “lax bros” don’t mess around, do they! Menial tasks? Drinking contests? As a fraternity man, this level of depravity is difficult to believe. It’s a good thing Cornell stepped in to put an end to the madness. Everyone knows that cleaning the house the morning after a party or chugging beer are both gateway hazes. This slippery slope only ends in one place, and that place is wherever people do elephant walks.

More than ever, I’m glad I pledged a fraternity instead of playing a sport. It feels great to be a part of a non-hazing organization where new members are respected and appreciated.

Shame on you, Cornell “lax bros.” Shame on you.

[via ESPN]

Image via Wikipedia

***

  1. RulesAreForGDIs

    At Cornell, the entire lax team is in ATO. And there is no fall rush. So instead of getting hazed at ATO in the spring (during lacrosse season) when they’re actually rushes, the lax freshmen get hazed in the fall. Probably still at ATO though.

    12 years ago at 5:23 pm
  2. neworleansfrat

    This makes sense. Everyone knows that menial tasks and chugging beer are the most heinous of crimes.

    12 years ago at 5:23 pm
  3. Do You Know Who I Am

    They only cancelled their fall season. They’ll still be back in the spring, when the real games happen, making Upstate New York relevant again.

    12 years ago at 5:48 pm
  4. WtF_

    They suspended just the fall season, so really not much more than a slap on the wrist. The entire team will probably now get hazed by the coach come pre-season.

    12 years ago at 6:27 pm
    1. doyouevengiveashit

      Confirmed. Practices now begin before dawn. They literally turned the lights on in the stadium this morning.

      12 years ago at 6:55 pm
  5. SergeantHartman

    Canceling the season and giving these kids more free time. Yeah, they’ll never drink now.

    12 years ago at 6:41 pm
    1. Northern Lax

      You really think the coach of an extremely good division 1 school will let his team just take the fall off? He will probably run them into the ground during “optional” workouts.

      12 years ago at 9:20 pm
    2. SergeantHartman

      No games = no traveling = they’re on campus all the damn time. Unless this coach can institute and by some miracle enforce a lights out at 10 pm rule they’re going to be fucked up.

      12 years ago at 10:15 pm
    3. Northern Lax

      you dont travel much in fall ball, usually a tourney or just a few games. He will enforce lights out by 10 by having 4am conditioning 6 days a week

      12 years ago at 3:05 pm