Dan Bilzerian Finally Joins Snapchat, Immediately Posts Videos Of Girl With Enormous Cans In His Bed

It was only a matter of time before Dan Bilzerian took over the Snapchat game. Once you’ve amassed 6.7 million followers on Instagram, shit gets boring, and it’s time to conquer new frontiers.

Alas, last night Dan finally joined Snapchat, and nothing will ever be the same.

Unfortunately, you had to have been following him on Snapchat yourself to actually see the videos, because he has since deleted them, and might’ve already deleted his entire account (or been banned), but here’s a basic rundown of what you missed.

Dan showed his face to prove it was him…

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…then immediately shifted the camera’s focus to a girl in his bed with almost offensively large chest cannons, and a pistol…

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…then the girl said something along the lines of “You can’t post my tits!” and Dan was all like “I can and will post your tits wherever!” or something like that, and the video ended. Then another video began with the large-breasted lass straddling Dan and bouncing up and down and my brain exploded.

BOATED

And that was it. Shut it down. Shut it all down. Game over. We’re not worthy of those sweater puppies.

Like I said, Dan has since deleted his story, and it looks like his entire account is already gone. Not sure why. But here’s to hoping he continues to use Snapchat to give the masses a behind the scenes look at his life, and more importantly, the classy ladies that bounce in and out of it.

    1. Jesus Fratting Christ

      When Dan has another heart attack and dies from a nose powder overdose TFM might lose 50% of their subject matter.

      10 years ago at 11:07 am
  1. Dorn_FromMajorLeague

    VP Bolen,
    I am curious about something and hope you will answer. I assure that it’s an honest question an not Troll-picking-on-you.
    I read about how the in the early days I TFM the two founders used twitter and Instagram to build a TFM base of followers by looking for Souther Guys who looked frat and following them. Fast forward to today. You write abou Bilzerian a lot because he has millions of followers and guessing you wan some of his followers to also follow TFM.
    Does this method still work?
    Does your following go up after you feature him?
    Again, thank you for considering my humble question.

    Ddi

    10 years ago at 10:52 am
    1. PursuitofFrattiness9

      To be honest, I’m a fan of the first couple pages of TFM’s. Yes, sure they’re ridiculous and absurd, and mostly about icing. But they’re written in the first person and actually happened. If someone posted something like that now people would be like “sick story bro”, so instead people write in vague 3rd person generalities about things that didn’t happen but are stereotypically frat so they can make the wall. It all feels fake, just like the Dan Click bait, or Dorn’s college diploma. Stop posting those shitty fake TFM’s and go back to the real ones. That’s what made this place great and it’s dead now.

      10 years ago at 11:40 am
    2. JakeFromState

      Of course the following goes up when you’re promoting someone like Dan. It’s a common marketing strategy because most of us can relate to Dan minus the money. But the thought process we all have is similar to his. Money/guns/gambling/women/being a degenerate and not giving a fuck. However when TFM goes on a Dan sucking spree it gets annoying. Like with Gronk. Yes he’s great and I’d love to rage with him but there’s a fine line of too many articles and just enough.

      10 years ago at 1:03 pm
  2. DickWinters

    A little late on your weekly Dan Bilzerian article. Good to see you guys are still riding his dick.

    10 years ago at 10:54 am
  3. Kappa Significant

    The guy is cool, but can TFM please stop sucking his dick? It’s getting out of hand.

    10 years ago at 10:56 am
  4. GeedsAreRuiningAmerica

    Dan Bilzerian obviously has enough women around to suck his dick. He doesn’t need TFM to do it.

    10 years ago at 10:57 am
  5. KYE

    Can we get a sans sailboat version of that picture sent out on Cyberdust. Strictly for research of course.

    10 years ago at 11:01 am
  6. PrezMorningWood

    I don’t care if I catch flak for this but Bilzerian seems like a guy with an inferiority complex who finds some sorts of satisfaction from being a social media whore. And don’t give me the “oh, well he’s a veteran, he loves guns, look at all the tits” bullshit; that’s closed-minded thinking. The guy is a cunt, plain and simple. He’s got a lot of money, but he’s building no legacy. Just a guy with money squandering it away.

    10 years ago at 11:09 am
    1. GeedsAreRuiningAmerica

      But if he didn’t use social media to brag about how awesome he is, how else would you know?

      10 years ago at 11:13 am
      1. Teddy Fucking Roosevelt

        Perhaps by letting your accomplishments, success, and abilities speak for themselves, rather than constantly telling everyone about them via social media.

        10 years ago at 12:00 pm
  7. 12in_Fratwurst

    I’m happy to read in the comments that everyone is getting tired of this boner.

    10 years ago at 11:13 am