Dan Bilzerian Finally Rejoins Snapchat, Gains Over 500k Followers In Hours
God, I hate this guy. While I’m stuck picking the raisins out of Jared’s trail mix, required to send Dorn a new dab video every hour on the hour, and have to go through and delete all the user submitted scrotum pictures in the TFM Instagram DMs — an endless battle — the last thing I need is Bilzerian shoving his carefree, babe teeming life down my throat. Yet, whenever I milk my bathroom breaks, I always find myself watching this man live the dream on Snapchat. I can’t look away, despite knowing it’ll only cause me pain and suffering once reality of my situation sets back in.
Does that make me a masochist? Perhaps, knowing full well I’ll never come remotely close to pulling the type of ass Bilzerian gets on a seemingly hourly basis or have enough “fuck you” money to do whatever I damn well please like he has. But I must not be alone, because after rejoining Snapchat he had over 500,000 followers in mere hours. Imagine having that type of presence on social media. My mom and dad won’t even add me on Snapchat and this guy has the entire population of Wyoming living vicariously through him 10 seconds at a time. Must be nice, Dan. .
Pickup a Bilzerian ’16 tank or tee now
For all of the shitting you guys do on “paying for friends,” don’t you think it’s kind of ironic how you ride Bilzerian’s dick considering he pays most of the models he hang out with? Dan Bilzerian’s life is an engineered social media stunt of what a tryhard high shooler would do if he won a ton of money. Fuckin’ pathetic.
9 years ago at 11:13 amHe’s that kid that was a loser in high school and now is trying hard to show people he’s cool
9 years ago at 11:51 amNo that’s you
9 years ago at 11:57 amOh yeah because you’d put all of the money in a low risk mutual fund and keep going to your day job. Dude is a professional gambler trying to create a brand. He’s scumbag but you’re a hypocrite.
9 years ago at 12:01 pmYou mean “professional gambler” in the sense that he tries to convince people that he won all the money his white collar criminal daddy gave him by playing poker.
9 years ago at 4:08 pmTo be fair, he has made a lot of money in poker and his poker sponsorships, but you’re right, he’s a trust fund brat.
9 years ago at 4:37 pmYou sound like another ‘woe is me’ liberal. You shouldn’t be concerned w/ what’s in someone else’s bowl unless there isn’t enough. You sound like a wide mouthed vagina…it’s unbecoming.
9 years ago at 5:38 pmYou sound like you experimented with prostate stimulation and got something stuck up there. I don’t see what’s “liberal” about calling a spade a spade. Bilzerian’s an attention whore who’s full of shit, and the TFM staff fights over who gets to fellate him.
9 years ago at 10:32 amSo that explains why TFN hasn’t reported on him in a while…
9 years ago at 11:15 amshit, TFM
9 years ago at 11:16 amNice save
9 years ago at 11:22 amFuck Bilzerian.
9 years ago at 11:22 amSex, drugs, guns, and gambling. TFM
9 years ago at 11:43 amThanks for the breakdown there, Marv Albert.
9 years ago at 1:00 pmSomeone had to do it
9 years ago at 7:20 pmDON’T CARE
9 years ago at 12:07 pmI’m sure all those models hang out with him for his great personality.
9 years ago at 12:09 pmDoesn’t matter had sex.
9 years ago at 12:37 pmYour mother was a whore Dan.
9 years ago at 12:49 pmI don’t care how hard he tries, the man is still doing better things right now than trying to see how long you can sit on a toilet for before people begin to think you’re missing
9 years ago at 12:53 pmWholly unimpressed. Kicked out of SEAL training…didn’t fail out…was dropped from the course. Tells me all I need to know about this bearded Paris Hilton.
9 years ago at 1:04 pmI got really hopeful in the first sentence when the intern said he hated Bilzerian, but then he proceeded to slob all over his knob for the rest of the article. Fuck you, intern.
9 years ago at 4:09 pm