Definitively Ranking The Top 5 Worst College Towns in America
College towns are great. Full of bars, restaurants, and shop owners who have come to accept that underage drinking is good for the local economy, it’s hard not to love them. Athens, Ann Arbor, Charlottesville, State College, Madison; some of these towns have been ingrained into the American collegiate identity as some of the best places for 20-something post-secondary students to live.
However, today we’re not here to make another list ranking America’s top college towns; we’re here to do quite the opposite. Here are some colleges who failed to listen to the advice of every greasy real estate agent and value “location, location, location” over all else. These locations suck.
5. Bethlehem, PA – Lehigh University
Lehigh, what were you thinking? Bethlehem is part of the Lehigh Valley, an area whose economy used to revolve around manufacturing steel. That is until all industry left the area after WWII (though Trump says he will bring it back and make Bethlehem great again). Needless to say, Bethlehem isn’t doing so hot these days. A walk down Main Street reveals everything the town has to offer: two local bars, a deli, and a general store. That’s about it. It’s no wonder Lehigh has such a robust Greek scene, as there is literally nothing to do once you step off campus. Just to prove my point, the one place students go off campus to eat is a place called The Goose. It’s a deli. The place everyone goes to hang out in Bethlehem is a freakin’ deli. But they do sell grilled cheese sandwiches for cheap, so at least it’s not all bad.
4. Macon, GA – Mercer University
I’m not going to lie: I had never heard of Mercer University before writing this post. But once I found out that there was a university stuck in Macon, GA, I had to mention them. If there is one thing Macon is known for, it’s being the place to pull off on the highway to use the bathroom on your way to Atlanta. Not much is going on in Macon. They do have a lot of Chick-fil-As, so I guess they have that going for them. Too bad they close at 10:00 p.m. so you can’t satisfy your drunchies. Macon is not close enough to reap the benefits of the suburban sprawl of Atlanta, but is still close enough to where you experience the effects of the crippling traffic that’s in and around Atlanta. Living in Macon is a loss.
3. Coral Gables, FL – University of Miami
Someone please explain the allure of “The U” to me. I understand that the girls are beautiful and they have a gigantic swimming pool at the heart of their campus, but why on Earth would anybody want to live in Coral Gables? They market themselves as part of Miami, but that’s just some false advertising. UMiami is surrounded by strip malls and the suburban sprawl and is not walking distance to the beach like they would have you to believe. If you want to go out, you’ll need to shell out some serious cash to ride the surge and catch an Uber downtown, only to pay $40 cover on arrival for some club you’ve never heard of where the girls are just plain out of your league. Not a good time.
2. Morgantown, WV – West Virginia University
For some reason, Morgantown is continuously ranked as a top college town. Makes no sense considering attending college in Morgantown means living in West Virginia for 4+ years. The only thing Morgantown is known for is being the home of WVU. At least Macon is kinda close to a major city; I’m not sure Morgantown is near anything at all. If it was not for the college, I don’t know what the locals would do here. The only thing worse than the severe isolation of living in Morgantown is that you’re surrounded by Mountaineer fans for the next four years.
1. Durham, NC – Duke University
Home of Duke. Need I say more?.
Image via Shutterstock
Nice effort champ, really writing this shit like it’s your career
7 years ago at 4:27 pmRutgers university – Camden. Go out to buy booze and come back with a gun and some green powder you didn’t even wanna buy
7 years ago at 4:57 pmI mean that sounds like a good time to me.
7 years ago at 11:15 pmYou’re Canadian. Watching guys with no teeth skate around in circles while slapping a tuna can with a 2×4 is a good time to you
7 years ago at 2:46 amI mean you’re not wrong.
7 years ago at 7:53 amCollege station is a ghost town.
7 years ago at 5:05 pmYou’re an idiot. Lost all credibility when you put Morgantown on the list. Your whole complaint about the towns you listed are that they’re not close enough or walking distance to downtown of a big city. I can see your best college town list being USC, UCLA, NYU, U Chicago, and San Francisco state cuz you’re a big city girl who hates staying on campus.
7 years ago at 7:42 pmI’ve never been, but I have to imagine Provo, Utah (BYU) has the smallest party scene of any college town.
7 years ago at 8:10 pmSomeone explain to me how Searcy, Arkansas -Harding University didn’t make this list.
7 years ago at 9:47 pmHAHAHAHAHAH OH MAN THAT WAS FUNNY!
7 years ago at 10:02 pmUnless you went to Carolina or Kentucky they find an actual rival to hate, or you went to Carolina and probably never left Franklin Street because you’re afraid of black people
7 years ago at 10:18 pmHey man that shit in Five Points gets pretty real on a pretty regular basis so I’ll just stick to Franklin street and Pavlov’s. Have fun getting shot at.
7 years ago at 9:19 amSince when does one avoid areas other than franklin street to avoid black people?
7 years ago at 3:24 amYou’ve clearly never been to the backwater that is Farmville, VA
7 years ago at 10:23 pmMy old man went to Sydney and he tells it like this: “Son, I would never let you go to that godforsaken hellhole.”
7 years ago at 9:16 amThink he’s referring to Longwood U, Radford’s shitty sibling.
7 years ago at 2:07 amBoth are in Farmville, both are utter crap.
7 years ago at 6:18 amPeople are so jealous of Penn State. They’ve been the best school in college history and now the sanctions have been coming against them in the 2010’s. First, it’s NCAA framing Paterno and Sandusky because Penn State clearly has the best football program in the country. Framing them was a good move to take them down a notch. Then, the frats were framed with Timmy’s death. Now, frats might be shut down because we have the best frats in the world. The New World Order is clearly trying to take down the Nittany Lions.
7 years ago at 11:53 pmNo one gives a fuck about penn state
7 years ago at 2:24 amI heard that Jerry Sandusky guy gave a lot of fucks.
7 years ago at 9:20 amHahahahahah oh man look who made a joke!
7 years ago at 1:39 pmMiami is the worst, nothing but guidos.
7 years ago at 1:43 am