DirecTV Drops 17 Channels, Becomes Nearly Worthless

StuffFratPeopleLike13 years ago

Maybe that giant HD satellite dish wasn’t the best investment for the frat castle now, huh?

After an ongoing dispute, all Viacom channels, including MTV, Nickelodeon, and Comedy Central, were dropped from the DirecTV lineup.

By taking millions of viewers away from South Park, Teen Mom, and The Fairly Oddparents, DirecTV has left many of its drunk and stoned viewers without any form of entertainment.

“I’ve really gotten into HGTV lately,” said a pot-smoking DirecTV subscriber “It just isn’t the same as running back through a few episodes of Spongebob though.”

The dispute arose over Viacom allegedly requesting “too much money” according to the satellite company’s bigwigs.

Viacom disagrees, stating that they were actually being paid less than they were owed. The argument has reached an inevitable stalemate, and only you, the viewer suffers.

Meanwhile, those who choose Cable TV services are doing just fine.

“No issues here,” my roommate stated in an interview. “Before all we had on them was being able to watch TV in the rain, now we can hold Jersey Shore over them too!”

When asked for comments a DirecTV phone-rep responded in a robot voice and would offer no valuable remarks, instead choosing to remind me that “WWE: Money in the Bank” was on sale for $44.99 this Sunday.

The struggle continues, as customers nationwide drunkenly wonder in unison “When the fuck am I going to see Stephen Colbert again?”

• [via The Huffington Post]