“Dirty Rush” Is The Sorority Book That Will Make Nationals Everywhere Weep

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One of my favorite “South Park” episodes ever was “The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs.” In it, as you can see in the clip below, the four boys of South Park wrote a book that was meant totally and exclusively to repulse the reader and assault their senses with unimaginably horrifying graphic sexual imagery. And everyone loved it. “It’s… it’s awesome. It’s the best book I’ve ever read.” That was the review of a shocked, exhausted Randy Marsh, as he had finished reading the manuscript and, also, violently purging as a reaction the contents of said book.

I basically felt exactly like Randy Marsh after I finished reading “Dirty Rush” by Taylor Bell, which will ultimately go down as the most infamous and most hilarious, if not simply the most incredible, sorority tale ever told. I was laughing, crying, disgusted, and entertained. Finishing “Dirty Rush” actually left me feeling sort of empty inside, in the same way a crippling hangover or sexual exhaustion (which I know ALL about) would. That is to say, it was worth it. This book is going to flood sorority national offices with tears (and also probably terrified phone calls from parents). The book is a thousand nightmares a father has about his daughter, strung together in a fascinating, irreverent, and hysterical narrative of one girl’s freshman year in a sorority at a typical state school.

Don’t let the subject matter fool you, either. This is not a book written specifically to entertain females. It’s part “Bridesmaids,” part the legendary Rebecca Martinson email. Martinson, by the way, wrote the foreward for the book, and it’s as abusive as you would expect.

Taylor Bell’s sorority tale will have you wanting to have a woman like Taylor in your life, unless that woman turns out to be your daughter (please God, no). I haven’t had the opportunity to meet Taylor yet, but I’m both terrified and excited (also aroused, maybe?) to eventually shake her hand, hopefully have a few drinks, and hopefully not wake up the next morning with slew of freshly terrible life decisions to think about.

Aside from the shocked, hysterical laughing fits “Dirty Rush” delivers, the book is legitimately a fantastic peek behind the curtain of sorority life. Well, it doesn’t really peek behind the curtain so much as it does rip the curtain down and set it on fire, but you get my point. I had the same reaction to “Dirty Rush” as I did when I first read the aforementioned Martinson email, which is to say I laughed my ass off and thought, “That sounds about right.”

“Dirty Rush” goes on sale January 13th.

Read the first chapter, “Tequila, Lime Juice, and Adderall” here.

You can preorder the book at DirtyRushBook.com.

  1. Fratchelor Pad

    The episode where Cartman makes Scott Tenorman eat his parents is still the best.

    11 years ago at 11:33 am
    1. Forever Unclean

      Unknowingly killing your own father just to publicly shame and ruin another kid’s life…Total Cartman Move

      11 years ago at 1:56 pm
  2. SNUBonny

    I just (sadly) read the first chapter and all we got was one tit that fell out during a game of Twister. Do better.

    11 years ago at 11:34 am
  3. SEC_Rodge_Dorn

    Dirty Rush
    by Taylor Bell

    2.0 of 5 stars 2.00 2 ratings
    Want to Read
    Rate
    “In this shockingly true-to-life novel written by an all-star team of Internet phenoms from the Total Frat Move generation, you’ll get the first true glimpse of “real” sorority life in all its f**ked up glory.”

    Bacon, would you happen to be one of thae ‘all- star internet phenom a’?

    11 years ago at 11:40 am
      1. I’m not sure if I’m just missing the joke (possible, cause it’s a wednesday, so fuck it), but I don’t get what MLK day has to do with making pledges steal a TFM book…from a walgreens.

        11 years ago at 2:13 pm
      2. TheDeVRyGuYshostage

        I think he was inferring that he, himself, made a pledge steal the TFM book on MLK day. But you are correct sir… The joke, “awesome” story, or whatever the hell he meant it to be was, in fact, not funny.

        11 years ago at 12:01 am
  4. SEC_Rodge_Dorn

    I’m not dissing the book, but I was hoping it was non fiction. This is a composite of many events from many people rolled into one girl.

    11 years ago at 11:45 am
  5. unkle

    God bless the girls that will read this book before their freshman year and attempt to create their own similar experience, regardless of how extreme Taylor’s was.

    11 years ago at 12:02 pm
    1. soldier_for_freedom

      It may not cause of the sponsors. They may not like the fact that Fraternity men want to date or have meaningfull relationships or something like that.

      11 years ago at 4:17 pm
      1. Bacons GDI Bro

        You’re obviously new here if you have no idea what Frat Romance is, GTFO.

        11 years ago at 5:26 pm
  6. “Martinson, by the way, wrote the forward for the book, and it’s as abusive as you would expect.”
    Damnit Bacon, it’s *foreword* not forward. You hardly ever put any articles out anymore, yet you miss something like this? It makes you look uneducated.
    Ohh yeah, and bring back Frat Romance Novel…and the forums.

    11 years ago at 12:21 pm
    1. Nice ghost edit. Means my point was made even if you didn’t give me the satisfaction of a reply

      11 years ago at 12:57 pm