“Dirty Rush” Is The Sorority Book That Will Make Nationals Everywhere Weep
One of my favorite “South Park” episodes ever was “The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs.” In it, as you can see in the clip below, the four boys of South Park wrote a book that was meant totally and exclusively to repulse the reader and assault their senses with unimaginably horrifying graphic sexual imagery. And everyone loved it. “It’s… it’s awesome. It’s the best book I’ve ever read.” That was the review of a shocked, exhausted Randy Marsh, as he had finished reading the manuscript and, also, violently purging as a reaction the contents of said book.
I basically felt exactly like Randy Marsh after I finished reading “Dirty Rush” by Taylor Bell, which will ultimately go down as the most infamous and most hilarious, if not simply the most incredible, sorority tale ever told. I was laughing, crying, disgusted, and entertained. Finishing “Dirty Rush” actually left me feeling sort of empty inside, in the same way a crippling hangover or sexual exhaustion (which I know ALL about) would. That is to say, it was worth it. This book is going to flood sorority national offices with tears (and also probably terrified phone calls from parents). The book is a thousand nightmares a father has about his daughter, strung together in a fascinating, irreverent, and hysterical narrative of one girl’s freshman year in a sorority at a typical state school.
Don’t let the subject matter fool you, either. This is not a book written specifically to entertain females. It’s part “Bridesmaids,” part the legendary Rebecca Martinson email. Martinson, by the way, wrote the foreward for the book, and it’s as abusive as you would expect.
Taylor Bell’s sorority tale will have you wanting to have a woman like Taylor in your life, unless that woman turns out to be your daughter (please God, no). I haven’t had the opportunity to meet Taylor yet, but I’m both terrified and excited (also aroused, maybe?) to eventually shake her hand, hopefully have a few drinks, and hopefully not wake up the next morning with slew of freshly terrible life decisions to think about.
Aside from the shocked, hysterical laughing fits “Dirty Rush” delivers, the book is legitimately a fantastic peek behind the curtain of sorority life. Well, it doesn’t really peek behind the curtain so much as it does rip the curtain down and set it on fire, but you get my point. I had the same reaction to “Dirty Rush” as I did when I first read the aforementioned Martinson email, which is to say I laughed my ass off and thought, “That sounds about right.”
“Dirty Rush” goes on sale January 13th.
Read the first chapter, “Tequila, Lime Juice, and Adderall” here.
You can preorder the book at DirtyRushBook.com..
co authored by Cunt Punt….awesome
11 years ago at 11:22 amThe episode where Cartman makes Scott Tenorman eat his parents is still the best.
11 years ago at 11:33 amUnknowingly killing your own father just to publicly shame and ruin another kid’s life…Total Cartman Move
11 years ago at 1:56 pmI just (sadly) read the first chapter and all we got was one tit that fell out during a game of Twister. Do better.
11 years ago at 11:34 amI had to stop reading it. I couldn’t handle Meg saying retard every third line.
11 years ago at 12:38 pmDirty Rush
by Taylor Bell
2.0 of 5 stars 2.00 2 ratings
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“In this shockingly true-to-life novel written by an all-star team of Internet phenoms from the Total Frat Move generation, you’ll get the first true glimpse of “real” sorority life in all its f**ked up glory.”
Bacon, would you happen to be one of thae ‘all- star internet phenom a’?
11 years ago at 11:40 amI never bought the TFM book.
11 years ago at 11:45 amMaking a pledge steal the TFM book from walgreens on MLK day. TFM
11 years ago at 12:22 pm…
11 years ago at 2:11 pmI’m not sure if I’m just missing the joke (possible, cause it’s a wednesday, so fuck it), but I don’t get what MLK day has to do with making pledges steal a TFM book…from a walgreens.
11 years ago at 2:13 pmI think he was inferring that he, himself, made a pledge steal the TFM book on MLK day. But you are correct sir… The joke, “awesome” story, or whatever the hell he meant it to be was, in fact, not funny.
11 years ago at 12:01 amI’m not dissing the book, but I was hoping it was non fiction. This is a composite of many events from many people rolled into one girl.
11 years ago at 11:45 amYeah, I bet autoerotique asphyxiation leads to serious sexual exhaustion..
11 years ago at 11:47 amGod bless the girls that will read this book before their freshman year and attempt to create their own similar experience, regardless of how extreme Taylor’s was.
11 years ago at 12:02 pmSo, Bacon when does your Frat Romance novel debut?
11 years ago at 12:03 pmIt may not cause of the sponsors. They may not like the fact that Fraternity men want to date or have meaningfull relationships or something like that.
11 years ago at 4:17 pmYou’re obviously new here if you have no idea what Frat Romance is, GTFO.
11 years ago at 5:26 pm“Martinson, by the way, wrote the forward for the book, and it’s as abusive as you would expect.”
11 years ago at 12:21 pmDamnit Bacon, it’s *foreword* not forward. You hardly ever put any articles out anymore, yet you miss something like this? It makes you look uneducated.
Ohh yeah, and bring back Frat Romance Novel…and the forums.
Nice ghost edit. Means my point was made even if you didn’t give me the satisfaction of a reply
11 years ago at 12:57 pmI don’t think he likes us commenters anymore.
11 years ago at 4:18 pmHe still managed to spell it wrong
11 years ago at 11:54 pm