Domino’s Insists You Shouldn’t Have Sex With Their Pizzas
The day began normally enough for one Domino’s Pizza social media operator–until he noticed one tweet he just couldn’t ignore.
.@Dominos_UK HELLO I'VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@NotArsedLike @ITK_AGENT_VIGO Please contact our head office – comments@dominos.co.uk regarding this matter.
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK DISGUSTING FOB OFF,YOUR STAFF SHOULD INFORM CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PIZZA. WHY IS THIS NOT IN PLACE?
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@ITK_AGENT_VIGO Our apologies, we will look for a way to notify customers of this in future. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, NOT HAPPY AT ALL, I HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PEPPERONI PIECES STUCK TO MY BALLS AND MY PENIS IS SCORCHED.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK LOOK, I’VE TRIED EMAILING YOUR HEAD OFFICE WITH NO SUCCESS BUT NOW THE PIZZA WANTS TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB, PLEASE ADVISE.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@indiantank @ITK_AGENT_VIGO It is definitely recommended, as that is not what is expected of our pizzas. We raised them better than that!
— Domino’s Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
While Domino’s has declined to comment on the notorious pizza fucker, a recent tweet from the mysterious LAD_VIGO brings up suspicions that this may have been the most brilliant viral marketing move of our era.
YEAH THAT WAS IT, I WORK AS MARKETING EXECUTIVE FOR DOMINOES AND I THOUGHT YEAH MAKING LOVE TO A PIZZA THAT’LL DO FOR BRAND AWARENESS.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 25, 2014
It’s only a matter of time before we get a “If you’re gonna fuck a pizza, make sure it’s Domino’s” commercial.
No word yet on whether this guy knows the kid who took the Vine world by storm yesterday by raping a Hot Pocket. No, I’m not going to show you that video, so for the love of God, don’t ask for it. I saw it, and trust me, you don’t want to.
YES I HEATED A HOT POCKET AND FUCKED IT ON VINE
— (@VERSACEPOPTARTS) February 24, 2014
[via Daily Star]
This article was super cheesy.
11 years ago at 3:11 pmWhy does this need to be considered news?
11 years ago at 3:22 pmWhen I read the part about the kid fucking a hot pocket I expected this to be written by Dorn…
11 years ago at 3:23 pmStraight from Dorn
11 years ago at 3:29 pmNOT A LIST
11 years ago at 3:27 pmMy girl Austin Kincaid lookin good as ever. one of the first sloots i ever fapped it to. article sucked but the image brought back some fond memories.
11 years ago at 3:58 pmTry the new flesh light delight from Dominos. It’ll confuse the hell out of your sexuality.
11 years ago at 4:06 pmYou forgot the list
11 years ago at 12:17 pm