The 10 Frattest Sports Movie Characters

Every penis-wielding son of a bitch in our great nation appreciates when sports and American cinema are combined. Classic movies like “The Natural,” “Hoosiers” and “The Sandlot” strike emotionally down in the deepest parts of our loins, and iconic scenes from these timeless flicks make our bollocks tingle. Today we’ll examine the character traits of the most respected characters from all-time great sports movies, and analyze their inspirational attributes.

Roy McAvoy

Roy McAvoy is a PGA caliber talent with no shot at earning his card. He’s held back by his beer drinking, tail-chasing and mental instability. Roy is also a short-tempered hot head with gambling problems.

Guy’s FaF, though. He committed a devastating post-grad TFM while caddying for PGA great, David Simms. After suggesting Simms hit the 3-wood and carry the water on the short par 5 16th, Simms refused and shaped a smooth 7-iron in perfect approach position. After Simms’ partner, Craig Stadler, proposed a bet to “Tin Cup” that he couldn’t make the shot, he accepted, costing him his job. McAvoy fucking stuck it, though.

Oh yeah, and he also stole Simms’ girlfriend and gave her the business in his Winnebago.

  1. duckdog

    Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh – Slamming the team owners daughter, talking about his Porsche with it’s Quadraphonic Blaupunkt stereo and asking Annie “Are we gonna fuck, or what?”

    13 years ago at 6:44 pm
  2. HankRearden

    I’m assuming Old School and Animal House were too obvious to let any of their characters on this list. I was pretty surprised I didn’t see Eric Stratton or Frank the Tank.

    13 years ago at 6:48 pm
    1. MOMOgotMojo

      he was black, Jamaican, didnt have a girl, quite after one beer and was in all a pussy. laps you fucking idiot

      13 years ago at 9:45 pm
    1. WtF_

      Well the rest of these are fictional characters, but since they made a movie out of it… Beating the defending world champion Russian team, made up of professional hockey players, with a bunch of college kids. FaF. Being the coach of the team whose victory was declared a miracle and ranks as arguably one of the greatest moments in US sports history, thus bringing all of America together in a display of unbridled patriotism against our hated enemy. FaF.

      13 years ago at 8:32 pm