The 10 Frattest Sports Movie Characters
Every penis-wielding son of a bitch in our great nation appreciates when sports and American cinema are combined. Classic movies like “The Natural,” “Hoosiers” and “The Sandlot” strike emotionally down in the deepest parts of our loins, and iconic scenes from these timeless flicks make our bollocks tingle. Today we’ll examine the character traits of the most respected characters from all-time great sports movies, and analyze their inspirational attributes.
Roy McAvoy
Roy McAvoy is a PGA caliber talent with no shot at earning his card. He’s held back by his beer drinking, tail-chasing and mental instability. Roy is also a short-tempered hot head with gambling problems.
Guy’s FaF, though. He committed a devastating post-grad TFM while caddying for PGA great, David Simms. After suggesting Simms hit the 3-wood and carry the water on the short par 5 16th, Simms refused and shaped a smooth 7-iron in perfect approach position. After Simms’ partner, Craig Stadler, proposed a bet to “Tin Cup” that he couldn’t make the shot, he accepted, costing him his job. McAvoy fucking stuck it, though.
Oh yeah, and he also stole Simms’ girlfriend and gave her the business in his Winnebago.
Will Smith and Matt Damon in The Legend of Bagger Vance
13 years ago at 9:25 pmKenny Fucking Powers- A lot of people ask me, ‘Kenny Powers, you’re a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?’ And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it’s actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument
13 years ago at 10:01 pmRicky Bobby
13 years ago at 10:49 pmShake and Bake!
No mention of Hoosiers or The Natural in terms of characters? Those are two of the greatest sports movies of all time.
13 years ago at 11:09 pmHoosiers sucked hardcore. No one cares about the entire state of Indiana, too include South Bend.
13 years ago at 11:54 pmhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/16/lice-outbreak-at-huntington-university_n_1282054.html
13 years ago at 11:57 pm“Ice Box” from little giants.
13 years ago at 11:19 pmthat’s a chick. laps.
13 years ago at 6:45 pmKenny. Fucking. Powers.
13 years ago at 11:22 pmWhat about Warden Hazen in the longest yard, he should get in on his name alone. Perhaps Coach Bud Kilmer in Varisty Blues, he only coached high school but it was Texas football.
13 years ago at 11:35 pmBud Kilmer gave 0 fucks
13 years ago at 12:54 amI have down syndrome
13 years ago at 11:36 pmI’ve seen shooter for Alumni weekend at Hobart, dude just rails lines and creeps hard.
13 years ago at 11:46 pm“I saw two big fat naked bikers off of hole 17 having sex, how am I supposed to chip with that going on Doug?”
13 years ago at 12:24 am