Drunken Passenger Impersonates TSA Agent At Airport Security Checkpoint, Gropes Female Passengers

Bogey Wells10 years ago

The weirdest shit happens in San Francisco. Combine the incompetency of the TSA with a drunken, perverted passenger, and you’ve got one hell of a story.

This past Tuesday, a private citizen made his way through the TSA security checkpoint at the San Francisco airport. He then made his way to the airport lounge where he spent hours drinking copious amounts of intoxicating substances.

You’re probably thinking, “Oh, wow, shitty article, Bogey. I get drunk every day and you don’t write about me. I’m going to express my displeasure in the comments while simultaneously making fun of Dorn for everything he’s never done.” Calm down, asshole. I’m not done yet.

After drinking himself well past the legal limit and concluding his journey somewhere just past the level of “I’ll do anything to get some action,” the man wandered back to the aforementioned TSA checkpoint and began mingling with other private citizens while seemingly acting as a TSA employee.

While you would hope to believe the TSA agents would immediately notice that the salivating drunk is not one of their own, most of them are unable to think and breathe at the same time, so intelligence and common sense are not on their side.

He somehow managed to convince two female passengers that they needed some “further screening,” because liquid confidence and shit. He took them to a private booth where he reportedly groped them before the on-duty TSA agents finally realized something was amiss.

The stupid motherfuckers working the checkpoint finally detained the 53-year-old man and called the police.

He’s currently facing charges of public drunkenness, and could very easily have more charges added later.

[via KMVT]

Image via Wikimedia Commons