Dude Gets Stuck In ATM That He Was Fixing

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I feel like I’m a broken record every time I cover a news story. I’m always just like “oh, this happened already in Seinfeld” like pretty much every time. Well, giddy up, we’ve got another one. Sort of. What we’re dealing with today is a classic case of being stuck in the ATM machine.

From WJAC:

A man is happy to be free after getting stuck in an ATM room of a Corpus Christi bank.

The man was working on changing a lock inside a room that connects to an ATM. The contractor was able to ask for help by sending notes through the ATM to customers.

Officers say some people thought it was a joke, but one customer took the note seriously and called police.
No word on just how long the man was stuck inside the room.

Yes, this isn’t exactly like when that guy had his jacket caught in the ATM and the only way for him to get out was for George to give up his ATM code. But it’s close, and any opportunity for me to go back and watch old clips of how the issue was handled twenty years ago brings innumerable joy to my life.

Do I hundo P believe that this handyman was “fixing a lock?” Not necessarily. Seems to me that anyone stuck inside of an ATM machine is there maybe on the pretense of changing a lock but actually is there to rob stacks of cash. I mean, how could you not? You’re literally inside the computer ATM, surrounded by thousands of bingo dingos. Who’s going to know if you pocket a couple stacks? Not a lot, just enough to pay off your bookie, (okay, so maybe a lot – jeez Mom I don’t have a gambling issue just chill).

The fact that he got out by sending a note through the machine is bananas in pajamas. First off, this guy didn’t have a cell phone? He couldn’t make a call for help? That’s suspicious. So he slips a note through the machine. Imagine being the person trying to make a withdrawal and all of a sudden there’s a note from beyond saying that someone is stuck behind the ATM. Not something you see every day.

But the good Samaritan is a buzz kill and here’s why: The note said “Please help, I’m stuck in here and I don’t have my phone. Please call my boss at 210-xxx-xxx.” And then instead of calling the boss, fucking Captain America decides to call the cops instead! They foiled his heist unknowingly. So the moral of the story is that if you’re going to rob an ATM, bring your phone.

[via WJAC]

  1. BobMotherFuckingBarker

    Like many great Seinfeld plot lines, friends ripped it off and did a shitty job with it

    8 years ago at 12:11 pm
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      8 years ago at 12:06 am
  2. smithpm

    Aren’t we all, in a way, trapped by the banking industry. This story is about……like…….life itself maaaan.

    8 years ago at 1:16 pm
    1. SharkWeekTFM

      Woah. That just blew my mind. But I have a tiny brain that hasn’t evolved in millions of years.

      8 years ago at 4:07 pm
      1. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

        You’re on the forefront of evolution, SharkWeekTFM. The last time humans evolved significantly, 10000 years ago, we finally stood upright and used tools. Aren’t you and your shark bros using tools now?

        8 years ago at 7:41 pm
      2. SharkWeekTFM

        Nah but we don’t need them. And just cause we haven’t evolved much in a long time seems to say “you don’t mess with perfection.” 😉

        8 years ago at 12:29 pm
      3. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

        Guess you have secretary pledge typing up all your work and running the email?

        8 years ago at 10:25 am
    2. Reagan.vs.the.blacks

      Fuck you, smith. Take your played out one liners to TSM, they eat that shit up over there.

      8 years ago at 12:35 am