duke joe van gogh coffee shop

Duke University VP Is Massive Narc, Gets Campus Baristas Fired For Playing Young Dolph’s ‘Get Paid’

duke joe van gogh coffee shop

Two Duke campus baristas are out of a job after a high-up university official heard Young Dolph’s “Get Paid” playing at their local coffee shop.

Last Friday, Duke Vice President for Student Affairs Larry Moneta made his usual stop at Duke University’s Joe Van Gogh, an on-campus coffee shop. However, this hot drink run wouldn’t go as expected.

From Indy Week:

Moneta was a regular at the campus Joe Van Gogh. The baristas often prepared his usual order—a hot tea and a vegan muffin—while he was still in line. He was cordial with the staff.

On Friday, Moneta came in during an afternoon rush. The baristas had a habit of playing music from Spotify over the speakers, usually on playlists curated by the service. When Moneta walked in, “Get Paid” by Young Dolph was playing. The song’s titular refrain included the n-word, as Young Dolph raps, “Get paid, young nigga.”

Moneta is already the villain in this story on account of this whole vegan muffin thing. And you’re about to hate him even more!

The build-up thus far is titillating. As you can probably gather from the title of this piece, Moneta wasn’t thrilled with the song selection that day and wasn’t afraid to voice his opinion (I’m assuming he prefers more of a Mozart vibe when entering coffee shops). That’s where the good ol’ exec man power movin’ came in.

From Indy Week:

Britni Brown, who was manning the register, was in charge of the playlist that day.

When he approached the counter, Moneta, a white man, told Brown, an African-American woman, that the song was inappropriate.

“The words, ‘I’ll eff you upside down,’ are inappropriate,” Moneta said, according to Brown. (Those exact lyrics are not in the song, though it has plenty of f-bombs.)

“Yes, of course,” Brown said. She says she shut the song off immediately. She grabbed him a vegan muffin and offered it free of charge.

“No,” Brown recalls Moneta saying. “Ring me up for it.”

Brown says she offered again, apologizing for the offense the song had caused.

“You need me to ring me up for it right now,” Moneta insisted.

I’ve spent many years trying to perfect my form on shamelessly being an assclown and big dickin’ people, and this right here is textbook.

Sure, Moneta could’ve told the employee his feelings on the song and then saved two dollars by accepting the free vegan muffin. However, by accepting the peace offering, Moneta is theoretically saying he can be bought off by a vegan muffin. Hell no! He wants the whole bakery (or, in this case, coffee shop), and he’s gonna get it!

Not only did Moneta dick slap that free muffin into the great beyond, but he reportedly called the executive director of dining services immediately after walking out the door. How do we know? Because, according to reports, the two baristas received a call from the owner of Joe Van Gogh LESS THAN TEN MINUTES LATER and were fired.

Swing-a-ding-ding!

Count it: This dude called one university official who called the business owner who called the lowly employees to fire them all within a 10-minute timespan of the incident. Think about that. You could’ve started Don McLean’s American Pie when he walked in and been out of a job by the time the song’s over. I could place a rabid dog in a closet full of meat and it’d still take longer for shit to go down than it did in this impressively overkill sequence of events. Just bravo. All-timer petty “I’m in a position of power” move.

If only they would’ve listened to Young Dolph’s two rules: “Rule number 1, get the money first. Rule number 2, don’t forget to get the money.”

It would appear, to me, they forget to get the money. Shame.

No but for real fuck you Moneta.

[via Indy Week]

Image via Shutterstock

  1. thevaginator

    JOEPAAA’S MOM’S ANUS PROLAPSED! JOEPAAA’S MOM’S ANUS PROLAPSED! JOEPAAA’S MOM’S ANUS PROLAPSED! It was a bit unexpected but it happened during my second helping last night! Her status for next week remains up in the air.

    7 years ago at 11:25 am
      1. thevaginator

        How’s your mom doing little man? How about giving the people an injury report

        7 years ago at 12:32 pm
    1. thevaginatorv2

      Scouting report: After countless rough nights in the streets working for crack money, JoePaa’s moms anus finally prolapsed. Unknown to Coach Vag was that her anus has actually been raided by countless men on the streets. It’s unlikely she’ll return to action for a good couple night, but given her track record I think she’ll be back in no time at all.

      7 years ago at 11:44 am
      1. JoePaaaa

        The day one of your comments gets a positive upvote is the day you’ll lose your virginity. Keep trying Goober!!

        7 years ago at 9:05 pm
      2. thevaginator

        The force of my cock in your mom’s asshole caused her anus to prolapse. I absolutely own you kid.

        7 years ago at 1:02 pm
      3. thevaginator

        Funniest part is you’ll never have the balls to do anything about it. Sorry ass little bitch.

        7 years ago at 1:03 pm
      4. JoePaaaa

        What’s a matter kid, out of original responses? We need a new puppet, you’re too easy

        7 years ago at 8:34 pm
      1. SigmaNugs311

        He was talking about the guy in the article dumbfuck. But I guess you’re so used to being called a cuck that you immediately respond.

        7 years ago at 1:12 pm
  2. El Taco

    I expected a spirited debate after seeing 16 comments on this article. Instead, again, you’ve all failed me and pushed me even further toward the light. May God have mercy on your souls.

    7 years ago at 2:24 pm