Played softball in a Fortune 500 company league last night. Woke up with a broken finger, had a bloodied leg and was still drunk. Guys at work told me I went yard twice and almost charged the mound. TFM.
If you were playing softball as drunk as you say you were (black out), it would be physically impossible to go yard twice. Your muscles and reactions would not be quick enough. Future Value, M.D.
So when you’re blackout drunk..you can swing as hard as you can and hit a ball perfectly in the center of a bat, yet its impossible to walk a straight line or fucking make sense when your talking? And no I’m not talking about being drunk, I’m talking about being blackout. Big difference.
… after the game I went and hung out with a senator and smoked cubans and drank top shelf bourbon. He gave me an internship and invited me to the Kentucky Derby next year. I thanked him by blowing a load in his daughter’s face after he passed out. I was so fucked up but still drove home and got pulled over 4 times, but gave every cop the grip and they let me off the hook (yeah, cops are alums. FaF). Cool Story
And I can only assume this is slow pitch, which makes charging the mound FaF.
14 years ago at 11:12 amIf you were playing softball as drunk as you say you were (black out), it would be physically impossible to go yard twice. Your muscles and reactions would not be quick enough. Future Value, M.D.
14 years ago at 11:23 amfalse. we have a drunk softball league at school it can be done.
14 years ago at 11:39 amSo when you’re blackout drunk..you can swing as hard as you can and hit a ball perfectly in the center of a bat, yet its impossible to walk a straight line or fucking make sense when your talking? And no I’m not talking about being drunk, I’m talking about being blackout. Big difference.
14 years ago at 11:42 amThis would be awesome if it were true.
14 years ago at 11:29 amPicture or it didn’t happen. Cool story though bro tell us more
14 years ago at 11:32 am… after the game I went and hung out with a senator and smoked cubans and drank top shelf bourbon. He gave me an internship and invited me to the Kentucky Derby next year. I thanked him by blowing a load in his daughter’s face after he passed out. I was so fucked up but still drove home and got pulled over 4 times, but gave every cop the grip and they let me off the hook (yeah, cops are alums. FaF). Cool Story
14 years ago at 11:38 amUM Phi Psi you forgot the part about him doing lines off the dash on his way home
14 years ago at 11:57 amAnd your dad being the CEO of one of the Kentucky Derby’s corportate sponsors
14 years ago at 12:46 pmNot to mention the 600 lb. marlin he caught off of his yacht in Ft. Lauderdale while blacked out.
14 years ago at 1:28 pmis this site already to the point of making a parody of itself?
14 years ago at 6:09 pm@ice cold frat, poor monitoring and admissions of bad posts will lead to self-induced backlash soon, it’s already beginning to happen.
14 years ago at 6:18 pmI remember when I almost got in a fight.
14 years ago at 11:35 amSo, that’s a good way to never get a real job at any of those companies that witnessed your dumb ass antics, and weak bullshit.
14 years ago at 11:49 amSaying you work at a Fortune 500 company isn’t saying much. For all we know you’re playing softball with the Wal-Mart greeters.
14 years ago at 12:52 pmHahaha. Excellent
14 years ago at 1:06 pmGod damn it that was funny.
14 years ago at 1:31 pmI swear the comments on this site are funnier than the TFMs
14 years ago at 4:16 pmDamn Right.
14 years ago at 4:46 pmI see what you did there!
14 years ago at 10:30 pmwhat a waste of time reading this.
14 years ago at 6:09 am^this