Eli’s Brother

 

The story of Eli Manning’s NFL prowess is well-known, well-documented, and obviously legendary. He was recently fitted for his second Super Bowl ring and cleared space on his mantle for his second Super Bowl MVP trophy. Even with all of his success, I’d argue that his football career is still on the ascent. However, I’m throwing you a little curve ball here. This is not about Eli, but instead Eli’s lesser-known brother, Peyton.

Eli’s brother is also a professional football player, a quarterback even. He’s actually pretty damn good, too. He won a Super Bowl, not two like his brother, but he has a ring. Until last Wednesday, March 7, he played for the Colts of Indianapolis. He was cut by owner Jim Irsay in a much maligned move driven by a very unique scenario. Eli’s bro was arguably the organization’s all-time greatest player, and now he’s gone. He’s leaving Indy with some tread left on his tires, too. So what’s behind this abrupt, seemingly heartless, move by the Colts? Well, his 14 year tenure in Indy was cut short for a variety of reasons:

The Neck

 

Peyton sat out the entire 2011 NFL season after undergoing neck surgery to repair some kind of nerve issue in there. He got a couple of his vertebrae fused together or some shit like that. Here’s the deal, though. Experts are not really worried about any future neck problems for Peyton, but rather if his arm strength will get back to what it was in his prime. Nerve damage in a neck can be a serious problem with regards to strength in the arm, or at least that’s what Google just taught me. Even after all he has done for the Colts, it’s a tough decision for an owner to sign off on, putting the future of your team on an arm that you’re just not sure of.

The Kid

 

If this scenario were to occur a couple years ago or even next season, Peyton may still be a Colt. Insert Neckbeard Pledge. Having the rights to the 2012 #1 overall pick in the upcoming NFL draft, the Colts have the privilege of drafting Andrew Luck, who some experts are calling the top quarterback prospect since John Elway. It would certainly behoove Irsay to take advantage of such a golden opportunity, and he is. Luck has the size, the arm, the pedigree, and the smarts to excel in the NFL. He’s a lot like Eli, actually.

The Money

 

The NFL is a vastly appealing entity that showcases some of the world’s most elite athletes. But just like any industry, it’s driven by money. Peyton was due a bonus of $28,000,000 if he was still a Colt on Thursday; they cut his ass on Wednesday. We’re not talking some $1,000 performance bonus at your miserable 9 to 5. “Hey, Peyton. Come into my office for a sec. You know that 28 mil we’re supposed to give you tomorrow? Yeah, we’re gonna go ahead and hang on to that.” Irsay saved his organization 28 mil by cutting ties with Peyton. Aside from that, he’s rejuvenating his franchise. The arrival of young Andrew Luck will start a buzz in Indianapolis, and that will drive up ticket and merchandise sales. This decision goes beyond football. It’s big business.

At the end of the day, Peyton will land on his feet. He’s a no doubt Hall-of-Famer with good years ahead of him. He gets to choose his next team and will select one that will give him a great opportunity to get back to a Super Bowl. Right now it’s looking like his decision has been narrowed down to Arizona and Denver. Personally, I hope he goes to Denver and takes a huge shit on Tebowmania. But before it’s time to make the call and sign on the dotted line, Peyton will definitely look to brother Eli for advice, and I think that’s wise. Dude’s got two rings already.

  1. Tallapoosa Snu

    I’m seein Peyton in Arizona… Larry Fitzgerald and Beenie Wells are already there, its in a dome, and Peyton kind of sucks outside, especially in the cold… He’s old, he’d rather be comfortably throwing into Fitzergerald’s 15 foot recieving window and lettin Beenie run in 70 degrees than get into that whole media circus in Denver playing in the snow

    13 years ago at 2:37 pm
    1. MOMOgotMojo

      In other words, he will have an easier time keeping his vagina clean in Arizona. in addition, $1000 he starts sending Dick picks to the Tempe 12 girls before the season opener

      13 years ago at 3:20 pm
    2. anon7472974648

      Quick thoughts

      1.) *Beanie Wells

      2.) Reports are saying Peyton wants to stay in the AFC, so I don’t see ‘Zona.

      3.) NYJ would be a great fit, but Archie reportedly doesn’t want Peyton to go to NY and take away from what Eli has built in terms of his fame/recognition.

      4.) Best fit: Houston. He’d have a great running game, good defense, stud #1 WR, good left side of the line, but no one knows if they’d get rid of Schaub, even though he’s coming off an injury. If the Texans had a competent quarterback in the playoffs last year, they could have won the Super Bowl (They won a playoff game with TJ Yates! Even TJ Yates’ mother doesn’t know who TJ Yates is). You can’t talk me out of this.

      5.) Most likely: Titans. Meeting with Peyton this week, where we went to college, and most importantly, he’d probably have a HUGE amount of influence over the front office.

      13 years ago at 3:36 pm
    3. BrobHuggins

      Miami. He lives in Miami, Brandon Marshall, Reggie Bush, Reggie Wayne Would love to play in Miami, and the defense is usually top 10 every year,

      13 years ago at 8:34 pm
    4. MrConstantine

      He won’t be in Miami, he doesn’t want to get spanked by the Pats twice a year.

      13 years ago at 7:27 am
    1. fumafounder

      ^you should probably be working to improve your next column as apposed to commenting on this one.

      13 years ago at 2:49 pm
    2. fumafounder

      Yea if you want a real job you can hit me up and i can prob talk to some people in the whataburger community and find you something. I’ll be the asst. Mngr. so you’ll have to work your way up.

      13 years ago at 2:58 pm
    3. The Baron

      ^I’m concerned that your trolling is becoming a distraction from you being able to hit your order quota. There’s nothing I crave more at 2:30AM than a #2 with cheese (besides some split-tail and a Whiskey Smash), so quit fucking around and get back to work so your peasant-ish ass can fill my fucking order when I grace your drive-thru window with my presence.

      13 years ago at 3:14 pm
    4. fumafounder

      ^shows you know absolutely nothing about the fast food industry. we don’t have order quotas. what am i a salesman? we can only serve the amount of food that is ordered. having a quota would be pointless, why make a quota of say, 20 burgers a day if we only sell 15. come to the realization that you will never be in the same socio-economic ballpark as me and kill yourself, sir.

      13 years ago at 7:56 pm
  2. Too Frat To Fail

    Fact Check: Peyton, in reality, had surgery to repair a rather serious injury his broken vagina, which was making it uncomfortable for him to play.

    13 years ago at 2:46 pm
  3. The Baron

    I bet Dick Perry can’t wait to keep riding Neckbeard Pledge to winning streaks that result in cocaine binges out of some strippers asscrack in the back of some dank, sour-smelling room at Spearmint Rhino…

    13 years ago at 2:51 pm
  4. It’s very evident within the first few seconds of reading that this column wasn’t written by Bacon. But it was a good effort.

    13 years ago at 3:03 pm
    1. Davy Crockett

      What tipped me off was the author’s name directly underneath the title, but hey, good for you I guess.

      13 years ago at 3:10 pm
  5. inhocFaF

    There is absolutely no reason for Peyton not to go to Miami. He already has a house there, he would have a big play receiver in Marshall, a good option out of the backfield in bush, and 2 young pro-bowl offensive lineman. He would have an owner willing to do almost anything to win, plus good weather that wouldn’t tighten up his neck. Oh yea, a top 10 pick with more than enough salary cap to afford Peyton, Wayne and whatever other followers he has.

    Better yet, he would have the opportunity to beat Brady a minimum of 2 times of year.

    13 years ago at 3:55 pm
    1. Brobert F Kennedy

      Exactly. As a Pats fan I want him to go to Miami. I don’t care who wins, I just like good football.

      13 years ago at 1:25 am
    2. He played college ball at UT and really got his roots started in Tennessee for his career. And he’ll get to play the colts a couple times a year to get payback for them cutting him one day before pay day.

      13 years ago at 12:21 am