Every State’s Favorite Porn From 2013 Revealed

StuffFratPeopleLike12 years ago

Legendary semen amassing website Pornhub.com released a batch of interesting statistics yesterday, shedding some light on how exactly Americans got their rocks off in the past year.

Within the data was a state-by-state analysis of the three highest search terms used on the site, along with an average rating for how long each user spends with everyone’s favorite free masturbatory aid. The darker a state appears in the above graph, the more time they spend on average with the website.

Some of the results are pretty much expected, but there are a few things on this list that surprised the hell out of me. Let’s see if we can find out a little more about America based on what its citizens jerk off to.

– Nevada has an odd obsession with pornstar Anita Queen. I wasn’t familiar with Ms. Queen’s work, so being the caring smut-peddler that I am, I did some research for you guys (Side note: I love my job). My girl Anita is hot without a doubt, but she doesn’t seem any different from your average Czech girl turned professional knob slobber.

– Georgia, Louisiana, and Alabama get down to some major ebony porn. That’s right, three of the most conservative states in the country are completely down with the brown when it comes to their “me time.” Who am I to judge?

– Wyoming’s number one search term was nothing more than “smoking.” While I can’t be sure if people out there are just using the word as an adjective, I’m leaning towards the fact that everyone in the squarest of states just has a really twisted tobacco fetish.

– The South tends to spend a significantly longer amount of time spanking the monkey than most of their northern peers.

– Mississippi takes the cake as the longest jerkers in the bunch, and honestly, it doesn’t surprise me. What the hell else is there to do in Mississippi? Sure, plenty of people go to Ole Miss and tailgate really fucking hard. Wouldn’t you do the same if your football team was that mediocre? Maybe as soon as the grill dies down, everyone just goes home to masturbate instead of watching another inevitable blowout loss?

– On the other side of the lube bottle, Rhode Island snags the bottom rung as the quickest nut-busters at ten minutes per session. This could be skewed by population, but I like to think that the smallest state also happens to carry a premature ejaculation problem.

– For some reason, Kentucky is really, really into hentai porn. If you’re not sure what hentai is, for the love of all things holy, don’t Google it. Hentai is a type of Japanese cartoon porn that features unrealistic proportions and way more animated semen than any human being should enjoy. I’m not here to judge people on what they choke the chicken with, but the mental image of a bunch of ornery hillbillies whacking it to the cast of Dragonball Z might haunt me for the rest of my life.

Well, there you have it folks. If you’re really interested, Pornhub released a nifty little infograph with the ridiculous amount of porn data they’ve amassed. Check it out here.

[via Gizmodo]