Everything You Missed While Drinking Your Ass Off At Tailgate: College Football Week 4 Recap

Dan Regester10 years ago

You just put in a 14-hour day crushing countless Game Day Lights on an empty stomach, asserted dominance over any fool that went even remotely close to the ladderball setup, and shamelessly finger blasted your pledge brother’s 18-year-old sister under the sign-in table. Needless to say, you had your hands full, so you undoubtedly missed what went down throughout the rest of the country. But no worries, guys. That’s what I’m here for: To spend Saturdays watching college football. Your thanks is not necessary, as I’m not in this line of work for the praise. I make the sacrifice of planting my ass firmly on the couch so people like you don’t have to — so you can go out and live the tailgate life the way tailgate life was meant to be lived. At the very least, hopefully this makes that crippling hangover today more bearable.

Arizona GameDay signs were up to snuff.

And he doesn’t care who knows.

For Steve “Jared Borislow” Holt.

Rich Rodriguez’s daughter is a smoke Arizona cheerleader.

Fat guy touchdowns every which way you look.

It’s legitimately time to start worrying about me.

Technically, we’re not the worst team in our conference…yet.

Leonard Fournette was the second best athlete on the field for the LSU-Syracuse game.

Yawn.

When the Adderall finally kicks in:

Are you not entertained?

“But didn’t he doink it off the upright like four plays later?” – Buzzkill McGee

Karl Malone just casually making deals on his burner phone.

Harbaugh is coaching the Michigan boys up

Up 31-0, Harbaugh called a fake punt. If you don’t absolutely love Harbaugh after that move, there’s just no helping you. Not to mention, that Utah loss doesn’t look too shabby now.

Tennessee continues its impressive decade long streak of losing to Florida.

At first Tennessee fans were like:

But then:

Texas gets kicked in the dick again. This week, by the punter.

Weekly checkup with Bret Bielema

Yup, still terrible.

TCU escapes the tortilla throwing hellhole that is Lubbock with a W.

Throwing in baseball and this Mike Trout catch because sweet baby Jesus.

Ducks fly together into mediocrity.

If the Eagles don’t turn it around any time soon, feel free to take Chip Kelly back.

Savvy move by Utah. How can we take the TV wires out of the equation? Run a fake..