FAIL FRIDAY: American Pride and Adderall
Fifteen real submissions, five photos and one video, that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
I love America so much, that if there was a bald eagle right here in front of me I would fuck it. TFM.
-Arkansas
People in Arkansas will fuck anything. Bald eagles, cousins, truck tailpipes…
When she climbed on top she noticed the American flag above my bed, and proceeded to slam while moaning/singing “Proud to be an American.”
-Texas
Video or it didn’t happen.
Woke up in the hotdog vendor’s meat cart next to an Asian girl. Took a package of hotdogs and bounced. TFM.
-New York
I figure this is pretty common in New York. In my mind the streets are just littered with hotdog carts and Asian chicks. The obvious thing to do is mix the two.
Going to Facebook and finding “SB 2011” photo albums to masturbate to. TFM.
-Tennessee
Roommate walks in: “What the fuck, dude? Were you just spanking it to our Cabo 2011 album?”
My mother told me I’m starting to look like John Daly. TFM.
-Virginia
“Son, you look like a red-faced, raging alcoholic, chain smoking, gambling addicted, fat professional golfer. But I still love you.”
The smell of Cope straight and Coca-Cola in one bottle gets me hard. TFM.
-Tennessee
This is an unusual fetish.
The slampiece asked about my herpes, I covered and said it was bad razor burn. Sharing is caring after all. TFM.
-Oklahoma
I’m not sure that phrase applies in this situation. For the love of God, stop purposely-spreading STDs and thinking it’s humorous.
Some geed walks into the elevator while I’m on my way to go get my swole on and asks, “Are you going out?” I say “Do these sweatpants look like they’re polo?” TFM.
-Illinois
You are a douche bag.
Spending an obscure amount of money at the bar every night when my family is secretly on welfare. TFM.
-Nebraska
Raging on food stamps is the old money way in Nebraska.
Hazing every waiter I ever get at Chili’s just in case it’s the guy from Fail Friday. TFM.
-Texas
I miss the Chili’s guy.
Getting scowls from lower-tier girls and GDIs, when my fratdaddy sits down at my table in the library and showers me with Adderall. TSM.
-South Carolina
If this guy is literally walking over to you at the library, and making it rain Addy down on you like fucking Skittles…TFM. But you’re still a crack head.
I’ve wanted a boob job since I was 12. TSM.
-Florida
I’ve wanted you to get a boob job since I was 12.
My drug dealer smoked me out because I took him cupcakes from the cupcake sisterhood event held at our House tonight. TSM.
-Texas
Hanging out with a lonely, friendless geed who sells weed to pay for school and the occasional opportunity to hit the pipe with a bottom-tier sorostitute such as yourself. NS.
Stealing random things you have no use for just for the story. TSM.
-North Carolina
Being a klepto is sexy as fuck. I don’t care what anyone says.
Playing hard to get. NS. Making them hard then leaving. TSM.
-North Carolina
This strategy isn’t going to make him, or your daddy, love you any more.
Rush Pike, you know you want to.
Freshman’s first Old South. TFM?
Fail Friday
Inside of my fratdaddy’s cooler for beach weekend. TSM.
Rough night.
This might actually make your weekend better. The description reads: “Blacked out guy asks to get punched in the face and falls downstairs onto cripple…TFM”
making fun of pike again…well this is getting boring.
14 years ago at 8:08 pmNaw, I still get a kick out of it.
14 years ago at 12:39 amI smell Pike
14 years ago at 12:41 amWhen you are the best, you don’t acknowledge the competition. There is no need to. You go about your business like a man with honor.
14 years ago at 8:20 pmLet’s get this straight, all you dumbass Pikes. We are not jealous of not getting a bid because, quite frankly, none of us wanted to rush your shitty excuse for a fraternity, so stop with the hilarious “sorry you didn’t get a bid” comments. That’s like someone with a hideous girlfriend saying “sorry you can’t get a girlfriend as hot as mine.” That being said, fuck off. You will always be hated. Thank you for your time.
14 years ago at 8:34 pm^this
14 years ago at 9:23 pmWell said
14 years ago at 9:51 pmonce again somebody didn’t get a bid. whining like a bitch=NF.
14 years ago at 9:30 amHey chuggster frattison. Shut the fuck up. Do the world a favor and go lay down in traffic.
14 years ago at 10:40 amBestiality, check
geediness, check
douchebaggery, check
Chili’s, check
Making fun of Pike, check
Yup, another fantastic fail friday.
14 years ago at 10:27 pmTFM Pledge obviously hasen’t seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMRWNNBYAc8
14 years ago at 10:30 pmTypical Pike response “Oh we are so frat, these are our bad chapters, sorry you didn’t get a bid.” Shut the fuck up.
I will send a $500 check to the first pike that proves your fraternity is top tier.
14 years ago at 11:01 pmwe don’t need your petty cash… my chapter of PIKE won greek week and we also won my school’s fraternity of the year award. sorry you didn’t get a bid.
14 years ago at 12:17 amHahaha those awards mean nothing
14 years ago at 12:21 amas if we need your money
14 years ago at 12:32 amWinning greek week = NF
14 years ago at 12:54 am^ Not supporting the opportunities you have for your chapter to become better=NF. Your an idiot
14 years ago at 9:27 amI’m not a pike but they are actually top tier at my school. Hate to say it though.
14 years ago at 12:15 pmI am willing to bet that you go to a directional school. North-Eastern Middle Jersey State University. TFM
14 years ago at 12:30 pmFraternity of the year award= Biggest sucker of the Greek Dean’s Dick
And yes, I’m pretty sure everyone here could have gotten a bid. Pike gives bids to anyone who shows up to a rush event.
14 years ago at 3:36 pmChevy Silverabro. Actually I go to Southeast Central North Dakota State School of Performing Arts A&M Tech. Good guess though. There are only two fraternities and pike is the best. No but really, there are 15 fraternities here and pike is hated the same by most others. But they do have high manpower, dress fratty and have good parties. I’ll give them that. Don’t like them but respect them. But overall Pike does seem to match the stigma of roided out rapists from when I’ve visited other schools.
14 years ago at 4:18 pm80+ member pledge classes for two years straight, 60+ member pledge classes for 6 years straight, tops on campus for bid acceptance percentage this year, and second in the category the previous year to Sigma Chi (respect). Suck it. Top-tier.
$500?
14 years ago at 12:44 pmYea my newly reinstated house of only 40 brothers won Greek week. Not hard to do. Bragging about useless victories. NF.
14 years ago at 11:46 amSo are we just going to keep putting pike on Fail Friday? I know they are making your job easy TFM pledge. if you keep this up then we will go through a different chapter a week, so they can quit using that “it’s just a bad chapter” excuse.
14 years ago at 11:49 pmspending an “obscure” amount of money? hopefully you meant “obscene”
14 years ago at 11:50 pmand that is why his family is on welfare
14 years ago at 2:37 amI guess having any money is obscure to him?
14 years ago at 7:29 am^this
14 years ago at 9:37 amAll the PIKEs I’ve met are exactly the same, and this picture honestly doesn’t surprise me. If y’all actually were the “frattiest group of fratty fratters” like you claim, you wouldn’t jump to the age old “oh that isn’t like my chapter.” If you were to call one another brother, you wouldn’t throw them under the bus when it happens to be convenient for you.
That being said, I’ll go ahead and up the ante with regard to what Theodore B Kelly posted. I’ll add another $500 to whoever can prove they have a PIKE chapter that isn’t full of GDIs
14 years ago at 11:52 pm^^second up the ante to 1500
14 years ago at 12:24 amBy definition no chapter has GDIs. I’ll take that in cash please.
14 years ago at 12:58 am^ haha
14 years ago at 2:02 amBeta Zeta (Southern Methodist University)
Gamma Alpha (University of Alabama)
Zeta (University of Tennessee)
Eta Alpha (Clemson University)
Gamma Delta (University of Arizona)
Beta Mu (University of Texas)
Xi (University of South Carolina)
Gamma Iota (Ole Miss)
Delta Lambda (Florida State University – largest fraternity house in the nation, 40,000+ sq. ft.)
Alpha Zeta (University of Arkansas)
And I guess if you wanna go up North:
Lambda Pi (Hofstra University)
Iota Lambda (Columbia University)
Iota Iota (Michigan State University)
Kappa Tau (University of Maine)
Lambda Nu (Boston University)
Since gravedigger (very cool username) decided to be a hardass and up the ante, that’s fifteen chapters for you. Once you’re done with your research, add them up and it should be $100 per chapter. We don’t need your pocket change but go ahead and make that check out to “The Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity” anyway. Thanks again, our fraternity is very appreciative of its generous donors.
14 years ago at 3:01 amThere is a reason why PIKE is on every fail friday.
14 years ago at 4:36 amDid you really just use FSU as an example? did you know that they let in athletes automatically without pledgeship? I heard some other chapters do that as well but I’m not sure.
14 years ago at 9:22 am^The reason is because of comments like these. Obviously people hate the fact that we run 85% of college campuses in North America. Numbers don’t lie so next time you post something up here and you mention our name then I know we are doing our job.
Phi Phi brothers
14 years ago at 9:24 amNumbers don’t lie? I mean when you give all the world of warcraft kids, and the ones that play humans vs. zombies a bid, you turn out with a pretty large pledge class. Awesome job!
14 years ago at 10:05 amI mean, I’ve had good times at Columbia’s bars, but Greek Lief there is mediocre. But beyond that, PIKE got fucking busted for drug dealing to GDIs there for god’s sake.
14 years ago at 10:30 amBah hahahahaha, if you think the columbia chapter of PIKE is good, you are out of your fucking mind. They just lost their house in the GV to PHI MU for christ sake. Fuck PIKE here, they suck at everything. They got, 2 or 3 pledges last semester?
14 years ago at 10:41 amI have visited the Alabama, Clemson, Texas, and FSU campuses. Pike, at all of them, are roid-ragers with a reputation of sexual assault and drug charges. Sorry.
14 years ago at 10:42 amBruce he’s talking about PIKE at Columbia university, maybe you’ve heard of it? ivy league, NYC? maybe not…
14 years ago at 11:31 amThe way his comment uses Columbia, it sounds as though he is referring to a town and not the school. I’m pretty sure that Columbia University doesn’t have its own bars.
14 years ago at 12:35 pmMy mistake federalist, I was reading frattylites post not bruce.
14 years ago at 12:38 pmPike at Arkansas sucks dick
14 years ago at 2:29 pmpike at Boston University is more GDI than death metal and anti-depressant medication.
14 years ago at 3:27 pmPiKA1868 – Did you really use FSU as a reference for a “fratty” Pike chapter? Sweet baby Jesus bless their hearts, they have to drug 16 yr old girls to get them in their bed.
14 years ago at 12:00 amBruce Brosteen, I find the 2 or 3 pledges thing hard to believe, doesn’t Pike give bids to everyone? Maybe they just gave up.
14 years ago at 12:55 amFor the record, Pike at the U of Arizona is honestly gayer than AIDs.
14 years ago at 6:42 pmPike still sucks, what a surprise.
14 years ago at 12:07 amOld South is rage.
I believe that all video games are a waste of time, but I’ll give the owner of that cooler respect for being real.
You’re an idiot.
14 years ago at 3:48 amI love the “Pike sucks” and the “south is the best” comments. They’re so creative and non-repetitive. Fucking retards.
14 years ago at 12:25 pm