FAIL FRIDAY: Apocalyptic Assholes

TFM Intern12 years ago

Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Getting several “upper management” tattoos so I literally have upper management written all over me. TFM.
-Texas

“My God, he has upper management written all over him! Quick! Someone get this kid a 6-figure salary and a cigar!”

When the person you thought coming to the frat castle was a stripper turned out to be a prostitute then shoved a champagne bottle in her snatch for $50 and gave a pledge his first BJ in front of everyone for $20 is a typical Tuesday night. TFM.
-Indiana

Honestly, if this was a typical Tuesday night (it wasn’t), then I’d party with you on the reg.

Sitting down to pee in your slam’s bathroom so you don’t get your frat spray on her toilet seat. TFM.
–Virginia

I thought the world was ending today, so I’ve been pissing all over everyone’s toilet seats for weeks.

Shitting in a jar and giving it to “Shit Pledge” for Christmas. TFM.
-Missouri

You have a designated “Shit Pledge.” That is neat.

Sitting in the front row of class, not to learn more, but so that every GDI in the room knows who the fuck you are. TFM.
-Colorado

This is the exact opposite mentality of every cool person, ever.

Gettin’ beefed by the bench press. Gettin’ cut by the 8-ball. TFM.
-Georgia

He gets jacked by pumping iron, and toned by snorting cocaine.

Your slampiece saying she wants to wear something that smells like you so you blow your load all over her. TFM.
–Ohio

What a thoughtful gift for this holiday season.

Its not about the grades you get, but the hands you shake. TFM.
–Iowa

Listen, you non-rhythmic retard. “It’s not the grades you make, it’s the hand you shake.”

Never using a condom because you know you are already sterile from pledgeship. TFM.
–Ball So Hard State University

I take comfort in knowing there will never be another you.

Bro Moments. Nuff said. TFM.
-Michigan

Nuff said.

Someone check that protein shake for PEDs.

What a sassy little bear.

Double fuck you too, you duck-billed platypus.

Far left is tonsil-ing ghost cock.

#TKEnation

I would fight every single one of these nerd queers, 1-on-15.

Stuffing your diaper. NF.

Nothing gets the ladies wet like a tucked in button-down with belly exposure.

Pretty sure he knows more about art than me.

Gotta catch ’em all.

That’s dedication.

Somebody got trashed. ZING!

The fuck?

I’m saying it stands for FRATSTRONAUT, not FRATSTAR.

That would be a denim diaper.

He likes his women thick.

Someone poke her.

It appears she has lost her pants.

This shit makes me uncomfortable.

Can’t stop, won’t stop.

Gig ‘Em Aggie Style:

Here’s a chaser to wash away the bad:

Two chapters from the TOTAL FRAT MOVE book are online now, read them here.