FAIL FRIDAY: Asinine Attempts
14 years ago

Fifteen real submissions, five photos and one video, that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

The pledge of allegiance gets me hard. TFM.
-Connecticut

Are you saying the oath of loyalty to our national flag arouses you, or one of your pledges that is the designated “pledge of allegiance” actually gives you a stiffy? Either way…seems like a problem.

Were so Bro, we eat Fruit loops with natty, and and BBQ Sausage battered Beer. TFM.
-Missouri

Incredible. This one post ruined my fucking week.

Best pick up line ever: “I used to date a midget. I was nuts over her.” Works every time. TFM.
-Indiana

Bad joke. Also, they prefer to be called “little people,” you son-of-a-bitch.

When you were little, you parents probably said, “You need to go tee tee?” TFM.
-Louisiana

Actually my parents used to say, “Do you need to tinkle?” So yeah, you feel pretty fucking stupid now don’t you?

Just delivered a keg to a Chuck-E-Cheese. TFM.
-Connecticut

This made me want to rage on stage with those animatronic animals at a Chuck-E-Cheese.

Sitting in the waiting room at University Health after testing positive for AIDS. First test passed all year. TFM.
-Iowa

Too far? Yes.

The guys from American Pie not being able to get laid.NF Stifler and the Shermanator. TFM.
-Mississippi

American Pie is incredibly weak. Ultimate GDI movie.

I’m not suicidal but I do take a lot of shots to the face. TFM.
-North Carolina

You should’ve had a buddy proofread this before you submitted it. He would’ve told you it sounds like you’re taking lots of cum shots to the face.

Your slampiece making you watch Twilight. NF. Making your slampiece watch Buffy before a slam session because she’s sexy as hell. TFM.
-Virginia

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. TSM.

I jerk off before sex. JUST so i can really slam my slam piece! TFM.
-Louisiana

Gotta clean the pipes, bro.

From some girl during recruitment to pledge sis to “first mate” to study buddy to best friend to roommate to soulmate. Love you, sis! TSM.
-California

That’s good. Now just rub her back a little. Give her a little kiss. That’s nice. Yeah.

Paid for my spring break by winning a $500 booty-shaking contest in Key West! TSM.
-Florida

Slut.

Spending more money on laxatives than I do on food. TSM.
-Alabama

What the fuck is wrong with you? Gross.

Falling out of a Frat house window. TSM.
-Arkansas

Don’t lie. He pushed you because you wouldn’t leave.

The making of a group of best friends is like baking a cake. Once the ingredients are carefully chosen, mixed together, and put in the oven, they’ll be inseparable. TSM.
-Michigan

Thank you Michigan. That’s touching.


TFTC!


We may have just arrived on campus, but thanks to me, everyone already knows we’re TFTC. TFM.


Ivy never felt so good


Nothing says Carolina Cup like a trip to the ER for dehydration after 8 hours of day drinking in the sun. TSM.


About to go to work. TFM.

This is awful:

  2. LikeIts1980

    “The brooms dont fly so you kind of have to power them with your own legs.” Really?

    14 years ago at 10:27 pm
    1. fratasm

      yeah.. that kind of made me go “no shit the brooms don’t fly! and magic isn’t real either!”

      14 years ago at 11:41 pm
    2. Fratter than Fuck

      My mind was blown! I guess our maid’s broom isn’t broken after all…Who knew?

      14 years ago at 8:17 am
    1. Bropenhagen

      Because he thought it was an “Ivy” drip rather than an IntraVenous drip. But I agree, that was better than half the shit on this site.

      14 years ago at 11:02 pm
    4. Frataholic

      And it wasn’t an IV either. It was the shit they put in to take a bunch of blood, which probably makes him the one with AIDS.

      14 years ago at 12:08 pm
    5. Fratcademy

      The skoal one was funny. Even if it was pouches, it would probably still be highly touted on this site.

      14 years ago at 4:26 pm
    6. A A Kroeg

      except for the can is obviously open and the tube is just under the lid…the guy is probably just selling plasma for money. TgdiM

      14 years ago at 12:26 am
  5. zero point zero

    Thought the quidditch video was real until the kid said he gets all the girls at parties cause he plays. For that comment, and also the fact that the game requires one to run around on a broomstick, which no guy with a pair of balls could ever get comfort with, I would bet money that it is a parody or joke of some kind.

    14 years ago at 11:12 pm
    2. danica fratrick

      Its real trust me. I go to UCLA and see these kids running around on the field all the time

      14 years ago at 2:15 pm
  6. fratasm

    that video is the most GDI thing i’ve ever seen. it’s almost as bad as zombies vs humans. almost.

    14 years ago at 11:38 pm
    2. captainFRATstar

      a bunch of geeds are running around the olemiss campus with nerf guns and bandannas that say either human or zombies…it is the largest gathering of geeds i have ever seen.

      14 years ago at 11:38 am
    3. KimBro Slice

      We had those geeds on our campus at usf too. They would stay up all fucking night shooting each other and sucking dick.

      14 years ago at 12:27 pm
    4. Bro_wall Jackson1868

      We got it banned from our school, its too much of a liability, that shut those zombie geeds down.

      14 years ago at 12:11 pm
    5. PhiGammGoddamn

      What’s worse than zombies vs. humans are those “zombie walks,” when geeds both students and non-students, get together in an orgy of geedyness and “zombie march” as though they were in a protest.

      14 years ago at 12:24 pm
    3. legalizehazing

      Ya, total frat move. You caught an incurable disease that will constantly and increasingly erode your immune system and health until you die or you catch something else and die…. sick

      14 years ago at 4:25 pm
  9. PhiGammGoddamn

    That video was painful… I felt like cracking these nerds in the head. Worse yet, it wasn’t a parody; there actually is one of these at my school. Half the reason I joined a fraternity was to avoid losers like these.

    14 years ago at 1:12 am
    2. Every Damn Day

      LOL, you’re a Delta Opps i joined the wrong fraternity. You’re not even a real fraternity, you’re a club.

      14 years ago at 9:42 am
    4. PhiGammGoddamn

      FIJI is FaF. We frat harder than any other fraternity on campus. I don’t know where you go, but I’m TFTC.

      14 years ago at 12:16 pm
  10. wolfff

    Oh that video….I learned when you show up to a party and girls find out you play a fictional harry potter game… they want you..bad.

    14 years ago at 1:22 am