FAIL FRIDAY: Child Support
10 years ago

Ten real submissions, 19 photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

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My Xbox gamertag is Fr6tG9d. Add me and we can pwn some geeds at COD. TFM.

Come on, man. This is not the place.

I got kicked out of my history class for having a boner after we discussed American victory in WWII. I might have touched myself a little too, but whatever. TFM.

Any professor that isn’t cool with you cranking down during a lecture on WWII is a communist.

Single-handedly impregnating an entire sorority house. TFM.

Good thing you’ve got that trust fund for all those child support payments.

Getting asked for a urine sample for a drug test and giving a semen sample instead. TFM.

You guys are really spreading the freed (frat seed) around today.

Always opting to wear a raincoat so you can fake as many orgasms as you want. TFM.

I don’t really get it, but you’re a weirdo. That much is clear.

Putting the “P” in pledges (because I literally pee on them lol). SF, SC (TFM).

So frat, so college.

Taping a string of condoms, like guitar picks, across your headboard. TFM.

If that doesn’t get you laid, nothing will.

Holding up the diving board line at the local pool, as a kid, by performing a series of preparational stretches, only to simply jump in. TFM.

I would spear you off the diving board.

Getting a bid in middle school because your frock is so massive. TMM. #So frat#

“Well, he’s in middle school, but his frock is so massive. Bid.”

Frat this, frat that. Everyone is claiming to be a fratstar nowadays. Well you know what, can we go back to when fratting was just about beer and hoes? All about chilling with dudes and drilling with chicks. You guys know what I mean. I just want…things to go back to normal ya know? Nowadays anyone can put on a sweatshirt with letters and well, they’re all of a sudden frat. A young latino boy buys a $15 Polo t-shirt and he’s the man. That’s good for “society” but for frsociet (frat society), I’d beg to differ. I guess what I’m really saying is I could really go for some pussy with a side of fries right now. That would make me happy. And oh yeah, one more thing, if you haven’t guessed by now…I am pretty fraternal. TFM.

You’re not right in the head.

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If you're gonna pee your pants, at least have some balloons.
If you’re gonna pee your pants, at least have some balloons.
Where the hoes at?
Where the hoes at?
Bicycle swag.
Bicycle swag.
That is unfortunate.
That is unfortunate.
Rusty pulls hard.
Rusty pulls hard.
Better luck next time.
Better luck next time.
Too much booty in the pants.
Too much booty in the pants.
"Anything But Clothes" gone horribly wrong.
“Anything But Clothes” gone horribly wrong.
Man down.
Man down.
If you graduate with abs you fucked up.
If you graduate with abs you fucked up.
Twister can be a great brotherhood builder.
Twister can be a great brotherhood builder.
If you dress like this and still get laid, props.
If you dress like this and still get laid, props.
Hold her close and never let go.
Hold her close and never let go.
That awkward moment when you take a morning after selfie and realize you chipped your grill.
That awkward moment when you take a morning after selfie and realize you chipped your grill.
Pike princess.
Pike princess.
Haha those faces.
Haha those faces.
Well that's one way to close on a lady.
Well that’s one way to close on a lady.
Again, the faces really make this photo.
Again, the faces really make this photo.
Rawwwwr.
Rawwwwr.

It’s Going Down

How To Be Fratty

Chaser

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      2. DrShooterMcGavz

        I hate when you say redeemable things, intern. Get Freddy Mercury style AIDS and die already.

        10 years ago at 4:04 pm
  4. Tippecanoe

    Can’t even get this out before my lunch break you piece of shit. Next week get the lead out of your dick and hurry it up.

    10 years ago at 1:24 pm
  5. wiso2016

    The last submission kinda rang true with me, too many people are way too focused on looking like being in a fraternity and acting frat than they are with actually being a fraternity man.

    10 years ago at 1:26 pm
      4. FratN

        Wha- wha- what did she say
        Mmmm whatcha say,
        Mmm that you only meant well?
        Well of course you did
        Mmmm whatcha say, Jason Derulo
        Mmmm that it’s all for the best?
        Of course it is

        [Verse 1]
        I was so wrong for so long
        Only tryin’ to please myself (myself)
        Girl, I was caught up in her lust
        When I don’t really want no one else
        So, no I know I should of treated you better
        But me and you were meant to last forever

        [Hook:]
        So let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
        To really be your man
        Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
        I just didn’t know what to do
        But when I become a star we’ll be living so large
        I’ll do anything for you
        So tell me girl

        [Chorus:]
        Mmmm whatcha say,
        Mmm that you only meant well?
        Well of course you did
        Mmmm whatcha say (whatcha say)
        Mmmm that it’s all for the best?
        Of course it is
        Mmmm whatcha say,
        Mmm that you only meant well?
        Well of course you did
        Mmmm whatcha say (whatcha say)
        Wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say

        [Verse 2]
        How, could I live with myself
        Knowing that I let our love go (love go)
        And ooh, when I do with one chance
        I just gotta let you know
        I know what I did wasn’t clever
        But me and you we’re meant to be together

        [Hook]

        [Chorus]

        [Verse 3]
        Girl, tell me whatcha said (said)
        I don’t want you to leave me
        Though you caught me cheatin’
        Tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
        I really need you in my life
        Cuz things ain’t right, girl
        Tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
        I don’t want you to leave me
        Though you caught me cheatin’
        Tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
        I really need you in my life
        Cuz things ain’t right

        Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
        I just didn’t know what to do
        But when I become a star we’ll be living so large
        I’ll do anything for you
        So baby watcha say!

        10 years ago at 4:23 pm
      10. OnceAPikeAlwaysAPike

        This is a little late but still…FratN, eat a bag of dicks. Finally you got blackballed

        10 years ago at 9:26 am
  6. The Sixth Year

    “If you graduate with abs you fucked up.” – some rare wise words from the normally mentally deficient intern.

    10 years ago at 1:27 pm
  7. DJ Fratastic

    I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice, I’ll say it a million times: the only time Pikes should be on TFM is on Fail Friday.

    10 years ago at 1:32 pm
  8. Jack-o

    Put more effort into your captions you cockmonkey. How many times do we need to tell you to stop using “man down”?

    10 years ago at 1:35 pm
    1. TFM Intern

      You don’t get to “tell me” anything, broseph. Go get your fucking shine-box.

      10 years ago at 2:23 pm
      1. Buster Highman

        Now, you insulted him a little bit, let’s just all sit down and have a drink.

        10 years ago at 6:28 pm
  9. pinon010

    As a Proud Brother of Pi Kappa Alpha, I must admit; You win some you lose some. Not our week.

    10 years ago at 1:39 pm
  11. MattyIce7

    I just wasted 7 minutes of my life watching the How to be Fratty video. Fuck you intern.

    10 years ago at 1:45 pm