FAIL FRIDAY: Closing Out 2012
12 years ago

Ten real submissions, 19 photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Slowly developing with a lack of proper diet and exercise. TotalFatMove.
-Georgia

That is correct. That is how fat develops.

Storing a large volume of a liquid. TVatM.
-Oklahoma

Indeed, a vat can store large volumes of liquid.

Being perpindicular to longitude. TLatM.
–Oklahoma

Latitude and longitude are quite perpendicular to each other.

Being the opposite of gloss. TMatteM.
-Oklahoma

Yep, they’re pretty much opposites.

Courting Heidi Montag in order to monetize your relationship on television. TotalPrattMove.
-Tennessee

Spencer Pratt did that.

YOLNT (You Only Live Nine Times). TotalCatMove.
-California

Catwoman yelled “YOLNT!” in The Dark Knight Rises.

Sneaking around and stealing people’s cheese. TotalRatMove.
–Alabama

Rats are sneaky cheese lovers.

Leaving an everlasting impression on a person’s body. TotalTatMove.
–Oregon

But is it a frat tat?

Sitting under people’s doors saying welcome. TotalMatMove.
–Alabama

Gotta love those mats.

Sticking your fingers in her ears so she can’t hear you while you plow her from behind and call her by another girl’s name until you’re about to blowzonga all over her sculpted ass parts and you pull your fingers out of her ears but huge balls of ear wax are stuck to the tips so you bail and fuck her sister. TFM.
-Michigan

Finally, a Total Frat Move to end the year on.


Keep that left leg locked out, you fucking rookie.


Nobody said rush boobs had to be human.


This kid is way too happy about his loser buddy yacking on himself.


Never a bad time for some OJ.


That big dumbass bird is ashamed to be in this photo with those cowgirls.


Having to cut your leg off because you got stuck backwards on the shitter. TFTC.


This pledge couldn’t handle his first party.


That’s how much one Jets fan has to drink to get through a game.


Gotta get there somehow, even if its a reach-around.


That is an oddly neat pile of puke.


The wizard on the left is casting a super gay spell.


It’s all fun and games until Papa Smurf finishes on your face.


Explanations for this photo: 0.


Do not. Fuck. With this guy.


When you’ve done this so many times that you know how to get comfy.

Catching a pledge mid-stream pissing on his own bed.


Guy on the left is looking a little old to be a pledge.


If anyone in the entire world is in the friend zone, it’s this guy.


He’s like a hose…

SnapChat Rap:

The Worst Music Video Ever Made:

The ultimate chaser, to wash away a year’s worth of failure:

Two chapters from the TOTAL FRAT MOVE book are online now, read them NOW.

  3. Bone Daddy

    I can see the tip of the pledge pissing on his bed. So you put sailboats over tits but not a pledge’s dick? That’s sexist

    12 years ago at 1:59 pm
  6. TheCommodore

    This was fucking terrible. You didn’t even try, intern. Fuck you, I hope you have a shittier New Years than Dick Clark.

    12 years ago at 2:24 pm
    1. Dorns_Dong

      ^ So you are also a retard with aspergers which is why you attend Western Illinois?

      12 years ago at 2:01 pm
    3. Hoo Frats Harder

      Isn’t that when you buttchug liquidized hamburger meat? I mean it would be a TFM if anything

      12 years ago at 2:37 am
  8. State Street Steve

    Is that Adam Sandler from Happy Gilmore in the Michigan hockey jersey?

    12 years ago at 2:43 pm
    2. Jon M Fratsman

      I don’t personally have anything against them, but their method of colonizing their chapter at my school was to actually pay people to join. I shit you not. Straight signing bonuses, which of course were called “scholarships”. And the funny part was that the ones they did get fell into two categories: 1) guys who probably read TFM and dress “fratty” but were always too cool to go through rush previously (“nah man, I don’t need a fraternity to be frat” – Literally heard this exact line. Wanted to fucking shoot myself) or 2) young gentlemen of highly questionable ancestry.

      Maybe it’s like this with all colonies, I wouldn’t know, but damn.

      12 years ago at 1:51 am
    3. grandfrat

      My brother in law is a Phi Delt from Centre. He’s a pretty good dude, of course that was a couple years ago…considering we are a bunch of old as grandpas.

      12 years ago at 9:24 pm