FAIL FRIDAY: Evaluation Day

Ten real submissions, nine photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Getting your haircut at Cost Cutter’s and rubbing out a load under the hair-bib without the stylist knowing. TFTC.
–Arizona

You’re a sex offender.

Unemployed but still dressing as well a Fortune 500 Exec. TFM.
-Alabama

Fake it till you make it, bra.

My browser automatically types in a porn site no matter what letter I push. TFM.
-Ohio

Someone in comments needs to name a porn site for each letter of the alphabet.

Told my grandpa I had a new slam. His advice? “Pee in her butt then kick her in the gut, prove that girls do poop. Then give her a rimjob and taste that sweet, sweet lemonade.” TFM.
-DeVry University

I wish this was real. That old man would be fucking hysterical to hang out with.

I went to TFM Day Rage a few months ago and I’ve been shitting blood ever since. I don’t think it’s related but I thought you guys should know. TFM.
–Pennsylvania

Don’t worry about it, I have been too.

Waking up to police kicking in the door of my bathroom stall. Got arrested for shoplifting and public intoxication. I wasn’t drunk in public. I wasn’t drunk in public, I was drunk in the john. Still not sure what I was stealing. TFM.
–Texas

Who are you trying to convince? Get your shit together.

Going to Old Navy to buy cargo shorts. TGDIM. Going to old navy to buy cargo shorts and then set them on fire. TFM.
–Alabama

You need a fucking hobby.

Having a 6 inch lift on my truck and helping my girlfriend in only to take a gander at her cooch. TFM.
–Florida

You and I would not get along, shit kicker.

Two chicks at the same time, man. TFM.
-New Jersey

That’s it? You can’t just pick funny lines from whatever movie you’re watching and submit them as TFM’s.

TFM rap (with multi-syllabe rhyming): “Total Frat Move, khakis and a bow tie I’m that smooth, my bank account makes your dad move, cause I buy his company with a fat splooge, of money, as I slam your slam like it’s funny, got her on all fours so much she has a bum knee.” TFM.
–California

Pass the fucking mic.


Drowning your girlfriend and using her corpse as a floating table. TFM.


Someone find Grady’s criminal record.


This is the happiest he’s ever been.


I’d hit it. Wait…would I?


Golfing in a graveyard. TFTC.


Get crunk!


Those asses are ample.


Someone make the pledges chase that squirrel out of his hair and shampoo his face.


It’s poop again!

“Twist and Shout” cover from Joe and Bobby:


Joe, you have absolute shit for rhythm. Bobby carried the performance. Pathetic.

“Rob the Panda” says frat life is the only life:


…but he’s not actually in a fraternity yet

Hula hoop chaser:

Attention campers! This concludes evaluation day. The key word here is “value.” Do you have any? Not yet, but if you missed last week’s Fail Friday, CLICK HERE. Also be sure to check out TFM Sweetheart of the Week, Megan Hevner.

    1. Fratty Couples PGA

      Anyone notice the guages on that geed in the first picture? That alone earns Fail Friday status.

      12 years ago at 10:24 pm
    1. BlackOutBryan

      Why is everyone getting all choosey? The good lord made a diverse spread of women for men to enjoy, and I have enough pee for all of the women I declare are 8’s and up.

      12 years ago at 6:45 pm
    2. HowtobreakApledge

      Marisa, she’s something else yall. I would choose her over Kate ANY day.

      12 years ago at 3:51 am
    3. Steven Spielbro

      how many times did you have to watch dodgeball to figure out that last name? either way, nice.

      12 years ago at 2:13 pm
    1. anon574839201

      Drowning your girlfriend and using her corpse as a floating table.
      TTedKennedyM.

      12 years ago at 9:24 pm
    2. NativeFloridaCracker

      ^^^ I read this, began to laugh. I continued to laugh harder then stopped laughing.

      12 years ago at 6:41 am
    1. Chuck_Loadsman

      Grady Linder said he’ll still take that dirt road home, he’s got a fresh set of super swampers.

      12 years ago at 12:05 pm
    2. Colonel James Beam

      I’m starting to think the entire TFM staff enjoys chokerbating to two girls one cup.

      12 years ago at 2:19 pm
    3. better_than_you

      ^As do i sir. A glass bottom boat is always fun, and if you have the balls to pull it off go for the Gorilla Mask.

      12 years ago at 8:55 pm
    1. Bronan the Barbarian

      Tony, your Maryland chapter is BM, and while they get a lot of shit for how lame their lack of a pledge program is, they are actually decent guys.

      12 years ago at 11:37 am
    2. BroswickStew

      ^^ The way national is rolling lately it’s hard keeping trad chapters around. Ours bit the dust at SC this past winter. We’re a dying breed.

      12 years ago at 1:41 pm
    1. GeorgeWNu

      You guys just won the BEST EFFORT award. Keep trying hard, and you’ll make it.

      12 years ago at 5:20 pm
    1. ASigForAllEternity

      Obviously can’t check on the office computer, but if that’s real then Dega is one sick fuck.

      12 years ago at 11:32 am
    2. StraightUpEverclear

      I like how 5 people just rattled off porn sites that started with a Z like it was nothing.

      12 years ago at 1:05 pm
    3. MrRagersNeighborhood

      PS Challenge accepted and completed intern. Where’s my money, bitch?

      12 years ago at 5:23 pm
    4. Brol Hamels

      Sadly sir your complete list seems to be missing a q website. Nice try though.

      12 years ago at 5:52 pm