FAIL FRIDAY: Everyday is April Fools for TFM Intern
14 years ago

Why? Because it’s the anthem, and if I have to read these submissions, you have to listen to the goddamn anthem. SING IT:

Eleven real submissions, four photos and one video, that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Being a straight guy on the college cheer team. TFM.
-New Mexico

Good for you. Make sure you keep those spirit fingers extra hetero.

Woke up to eggs drenched in hot sauce. FM. Eating them off her chest. TFM.
-Michigan

Why dirty a plate when you can use her flat chest?

Using slampiece tears as anal lubricant. TFM.
-Virginia

For the love of God…not ok, man. Not ok.

As I get older my shorts will get shorter and my balls will hang lower. I think you see where this is going. TFM.
-Florida

This ends with your children no longer bringing your grandchildren over for Thanksgiving. Eventually they won’t show for Christmas, and then they’ll disown you altogether. Also, your balls will be taking a swim every time you take a dump.

I used urine as contact solution. TFM.
–D.C.

What kind of kick ass ocular infection did you get out of this? Seek medical attention.

There are two things that are frowned upon by society that bother me: jacking off and getting high. Both of which I have concluded are two of the best medicines ever. If combined they could potentially cure cancer. I plan on continuing my study. TFM.
–Tennessee

Finally, someone discovers the cure for cancer: masturbating high. This is exactly why you shouldn’t post TFMs right after you get stoned and spank it.

Man law only applies between friends, or at the urinal. Well, anytime dicks are out. TFM.
–Florida

COME ON. What possessed you to post this? Do you make ookie cookies at your chapter?

Cop arrested me so I shit in his back seat. Jokes on him. TFM.
–Kentucky

I think the joke is still on you. Now you’re in the back of a cop car, all covered in shit. How long did you spend in the psych ward? Sociopath.

I put the STD in stud all I need is u. TFM.
–Louisiana

…and a shot of penicillin, or a cycle of Valtrex.

Stole a bokk from the library, censor went off and i ran in my flipflops. TFM.
–New Mexico

You’ve never read a fucking book, so I assume you stole it in order to sell it and buy some of those flip-flops with the bottle openers on the bottom.

Considering polygamy so you can be connected to all your sisters forever. TSM.
–Utah

Incredibly creepy. Utah, you never cease to amaze me.

This might actually make your weekend better:

  2. Thurston Brolander

    You’re all a bunch of homos for getting on here and bitching at each other like a bunch of gay ass geeds.

    14 years ago at 7:53 pm
  3. PiKA1868

    This photo makes our fraternity look about as cool as drinking bleach. This colony has to be blackballed and revoked immediately, seriously this is not okay.

    14 years ago at 9:40 pm
  4. NotFrattinNotTrying

    Any one think the patron “chugger” actually got drunk? Seems like he lost his shit to fast. You would have thought pledgeship taught him something, but I guess not.

    14 years ago at 10:08 pm
  5. Fratimus Meridius

    Fail Friday is the only reason i check TFM anymore there should be a fail tab with just terrible submissions like this

    14 years ago at 10:16 pm
  6. CostantineChubby

    For UWF Pikes
    1) The quality of a chapter is not based on numbers nor being successful in exclusively athletics, but rather the quality of the young men that compose that organization and the service they do for welfare of the general and Greek community, while maintaining the high ideals for which they strive to represent
    2)Most importantly cargo shorts make me cringe, there is a vineyard vines in Destin guys, if I have to see this again i will vomit
    3)Making hand gestures like sorority girls…NF
    nuff said

    14 years ago at 10:48 pm
    1. CostantineChubby

      Excuse my slander…I meant to say a Brooks Brothers
      May god have mercy on my soul

      14 years ago at 10:50 pm
    2. White_horse

      I am a Pike………….for shame that you are affiliated with me and my chapter in anyway. do me a favor, recognize that you are a stain on our great fraternity and shut your chapter or colony or whatever in the fuck that is down.

      14 years ago at 10:57 pm
    3. CostantineChubby

      Its sad that I condone the disdain that members of one organization place upon potential members of said same organization….but it makes me giggle like a GDI walking into a dragonball Z convention

      14 years ago at 11:00 pm
  7. 1855 Revolution

    Nice, I knew UWF would finally hit the map for something great. Good job Greek Week Champs.

    14 years ago at 1:35 am
    2. FrattyMcFrattersonn

      that’s hilarious… and sad. Count your blessings boys. Not everyone is so fortunate as to have nice things.

      14 years ago at 5:37 pm
  9. prettyinpearlsAOT

    …as gross as this is, urine is sterile, thus you wouldn’t get an eye infection. It might burn a little, as it’s acidic, but no infections.

    14 years ago at 7:28 pm
  10. Captain Frathab

    Both Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush were male cheerleaders in college. Our New Mexican friend may not be clever or funny but be mindful of that when bashing cheerleaders in general.

    14 years ago at 9:24 pm
    1. TexasBreaux

      Also take into account that our New Mexican friend is not George W or Reagan, so he can’t get away with that bullshit.

      14 years ago at 2:35 pm