FAIL FRIDAY: Everyday is April Fools for TFM Intern
14 years ago

Why? Because it’s the anthem, and if I have to read these submissions, you have to listen to the goddamn anthem. SING IT:

Eleven real submissions, four photos and one video, that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Being a straight guy on the college cheer team. TFM.
-New Mexico

Good for you. Make sure you keep those spirit fingers extra hetero.

Woke up to eggs drenched in hot sauce. FM. Eating them off her chest. TFM.
-Michigan

Why dirty a plate when you can use her flat chest?

Using slampiece tears as anal lubricant. TFM.
-Virginia

For the love of God…not ok, man. Not ok.

As I get older my shorts will get shorter and my balls will hang lower. I think you see where this is going. TFM.
-Florida

This ends with your children no longer bringing your grandchildren over for Thanksgiving. Eventually they won’t show for Christmas, and then they’ll disown you altogether. Also, your balls will be taking a swim every time you take a dump.

I used urine as contact solution. TFM.
–D.C.

What kind of kick ass ocular infection did you get out of this? Seek medical attention.

There are two things that are frowned upon by society that bother me: jacking off and getting high. Both of which I have concluded are two of the best medicines ever. If combined they could potentially cure cancer. I plan on continuing my study. TFM.
–Tennessee

Finally, someone discovers the cure for cancer: masturbating high. This is exactly why you shouldn’t post TFMs right after you get stoned and spank it.

Man law only applies between friends, or at the urinal. Well, anytime dicks are out. TFM.
–Florida

COME ON. What possessed you to post this? Do you make ookie cookies at your chapter?

Cop arrested me so I shit in his back seat. Jokes on him. TFM.
–Kentucky

I think the joke is still on you. Now you’re in the back of a cop car, all covered in shit. How long did you spend in the psych ward? Sociopath.

I put the STD in stud all I need is u. TFM.
–Louisiana

…and a shot of penicillin, or a cycle of Valtrex.

Stole a bokk from the library, censor went off and i ran in my flipflops. TFM.
–New Mexico

You’ve never read a fucking book, so I assume you stole it in order to sell it and buy some of those flip-flops with the bottle openers on the bottom.

Considering polygamy so you can be connected to all your sisters forever. TSM.
–Utah

Incredibly creepy. Utah, you never cease to amaze me.

This might actually make your weekend better:

  2. FraTexas

    I wonder which is worse about that last picture: that they’re pikes or that they’re longhorns.

    14 years ago at 12:45 pm
    5. Confederate Fratter

      I know the pikes at Texas and those aren’t it, I’m guessing your a fucking Aggie or Horned Frog if you’re trying to talk shit about UT?

      14 years ago at 3:03 pm
    7. Bevo Fratting

      Learn your facts before you open your mouth KAO. Those are not horns and those are not Texas Pikes. Now sweetheart, please don’t make statements like that unless you know what your talking about.

      14 years ago at 4:31 pm
    8. FraTexas

      Pardon me, Bevo Fratting. I didn’t realize that you were such good pals with every member of pike. I’m still wondering why KAO knows them and why the guy is doing a hook ’em horns sign if they don’t go to t.u.

      14 years ago at 12:20 am
    9. Bevo Fratting

      1.Have you considered the fact that I am one?
      2.It says on a later post West Virginia apparently
      3.People everywhere do the horns cause its kind of a universal sign.
      4.Stop saying TU. we dont say M&A and think its funny. Find a saying thats actually insulting.

      14 years ago at 9:50 am
    10. Confederate Fratter

      Aggies and their stupid comments, why can’t they just go fuck farm animals and leave us alone?

      14 years ago at 2:59 pm
    2. Sclater House

      this is truly the first time i have ever been embarrassed in this regard. absolutely awful.

      14 years ago at 2:32 pm
    4. PKAOlympian

      I cant believe im seeing my fellow brothers discourage a PIKE colony, you should be ashamed.

      14 years ago at 9:10 pm
    5. TazewellBROford1868

      a pike colony that doesn’t even represent what our original 6 founded us upon

      14 years ago at 5:13 am
  4. PledgeFrat

    It’s Friday, Friday
    Gotta get down on Friday
    Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend!!!!

    14 years ago at 1:05 pm
    2. Southern Breau

      Any chapter in Lubbock is bad. It’s Lubbock. Don’t worry though, we understand that you went to Tech because you didn’t get into UT or A&M and can’t afford TCU or SMU.

      14 years ago at 3:54 pm
    3. Woah Bro

      Have you ever been to A&M or UT? A&M is extremely GDI and basically a cult. UT may have a good greek system but Austin is liberal as hell. So Tech seems like an easy decision. Hot girls, great party school, better education than most of the “SEC frat gods”, and the greek life is FAF (excluding most of the small fraternities)

      14 years ago at 5:57 pm
    4. Southern Breau

      I’ve meet hot girls from Tech, but I’ve never met classy girls from Tech.

      You can find attractive girls and parties at any college campus, except maybe 10 extreme religious schools, but you can’t rush yourself into class.

      Your school almost lost accreditation a few years ago and your chancellor and women’s basketball coach sound like Jed Clampet’s cousins. Make sure you get a penicillin shot, gonasyphaherpaids is a bitch.

      14 years ago at 1:35 am
  9. WilliamRagerKennedy

    That geed, in the top pic, probably thought that girl’s crotch was a taco. Ole!

    14 years ago at 1:14 pm